Cloud Nine
by Lehua
Summary: Rin has to make a choice: continue her life with her Lord or start a new one.
1. Chapter 1

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.

Chapter One

It was time. He was coming and she had to make a decision. She was no longer a child; she was a grown woman who could make her own choices, who could choose where the path of her life would go.

Up to a point.

Her greatest desire was to become his wife, but she knew it would never be possible, he would never accept her tainted blood within his family line. It was bad enough his half-brother was half-human; he would never accept a human mate, however short their union would be.

So she had to choose: to be with him for the rest of her days, watching him from the shadows, her heart breaking every night because she would never lay with him; or to move on, stay here in the mortal world where she had gained some respect in the last few years, the years in which she had chosen to stay with Kaede and Kagome. The villagers no longer viewed her as a freak or a threat; she could have a family here, grow old with a man and die being loved by someone.

Rin sat beneath the sacred tree, a habit she picked up when she was learning from Kagome and Kaede. She could hit a mark several hundred feet away with a glance; she could cure many maladies with the herbal remedies she had memorized; she could produce a protective shield against demons and draw sutras to contain and defend. And the demon-slayer, Sango, had taught her how to defend herself with many everyday implements and weapons. She had grown over the last years, changed from the naïve child to a respectable, intelligent woman. With her physical change came an emotional maturity that sometimes scared her; the depth of her obsession with her Lord was unnatural. And pointless.

He would never love her.

Rin closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the tree, feeling the slow life of the tree as it traveled up the roots and into the leaves. She wished she could be the tree, slow and unmovable, uncaring for the world beyond the bark. How much simpler would life be if she were a tree.

But she had to choose: a repressed life with her Lord, or a sad life with a mortal man.

She sighed and heard the grass rustle beside her. She opened her eyes and said, "Good morning, Inuyasha."

He grunted, sitting beside her with his arms across his chest. "Kagome is looking for you."

Rin said nothing.

Inuyasha remained silent.

"I can't choose."

"Choose what?" Inuyasha said.

Rin turned and looked at his profile, her heart tugging at the small resemblance she saw in his features. "Between my Lord and marriage."

Inuyasha snorted. "Not much choice there."

Rin tilted her head and studied him carefully. "What would you choose if you were in my place?"

"I will never be in your situation."

"Humor me," she said.

He turned slightly, looking at her from the corner of his eye. "Neither."

Rin blinked and leaned back. "What other choice do I have?"

He snorted again and stood up. "Stupid woman," he muttered and jumped away from her.

What other choice did she have? She could be with her Lord or she could lead a mortal life, and the definition of a mortal life was marrying and having children. Surely those were her only choices. Surely there wasn't another choice, a different path she could take.

She stood and walked back to the village, her mind deep in thought, trying to contemplate what Inuyasha meant. Usually he was so transparent, but she couldn't seem to wrap her mind around his answer. As she emerged from the forest she saw Kagome dressed in her priestess robes, a gaggle of children around her all smiling and chattering. A small girl was holding her hand and sucking on her thumb, a determined look on her face that suggested nothing could separate her from this woman. As Kagome turned and smiled, Rin saw a vision of a different woman standing there, surrounded by the children.

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Today she would be coming home. Today she would take her rightful place by his side, as she had before, and he would care for her as he always had and keep a watchful eye on her. Her devotion was absolute; he had no worries that she would choose a different life.

Jaken had prepared her room, swept away the cobwebs and laid down fresh tatami, muttering all the time while doing it. But he knew the imp was relieved she would finally be coming home; the last few years had been upsetting for the little demon, having no one else to bicker and fight with.

Now he, the imp, and Ah-Un travelled to the village where she stayed, ready to welcome her back. A knot in his chest that he had been unaware of until that moment began to unravel, and against his will the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. He let the odd feeling of euphoria sweep over him for a moment before resetting his face, his customary bored indifference once again in place.

He inhaled deeply, her scent setting his blood on fire as they drew nearer to her. She was in flux, making his canines sharpen involuntarily. He would have to be careful around her, would have to keep himself in tighter control now that she was a woman. It would be far safer for her to stay in the village, but he had missed her constant presence the few years she'd spent in the village. He wouldn't go as far as to say he needed her back in his life, but her presence would make his life far more comfortable and less stressful. The bond they had created when she was with him previously still burned strong, and whether she chose it or not, she would always be his subject, his ward. It was time for her to come home.

He followed her scent to the village and was greeted by the little miko, his brother's wife. "Good morning, Sesshomaru," she said, inclining her head. A small child peeked at him from behind her legs. "Say hello to your uncle, Izayoi."

The child stepped forward and said, "Hello, Uncle," then hid behind Kagome's legs again.

Kagome smiled. "She's a bit shy this morning."

Sesshomaru turned his gaze to his brother who was walking toward him, a scowl rooted in his features. Sesshomaru suppressed the urged to bash Inuyasha's face in and turned his gaze back to the miko. "Where is Rin?" He knew perfectly where Rin was, could sniff her out from miles away, but felt it would be more polite to ask, and it would annoy his brother who would have no cause to start a fight. While the urge to kill Inuyasha had mellowed over the years, provoking and annoying Inuyasha was still one of his many entertainments.

"Sesshomaru, there's something," Kagome began, but he lost the sound of her voice when he saw Rin emerge from her hut, the breeze catching her scent and setting his blood to boil again. He barely heard Inuyasha growl a warning before he was beside her, his talons gripping her arms tightly, a small gasp escaping her lips.

"Why are you dressed like this?" he hissed, his nails tearing into the white fabric covering her arms, drawing blood in several places. Inuyasha tried to come between him and Rin but Sesshomaru deflected him with a wave of his hand, barely aware of Inuyasha's presence.

Her heart was beating fast in her chest and he could smell her arousal at his presence, at the violence in which he'd grabbed her, but her surprised expression soon became one of rage, and he released her, his eyes widening in shock.

She surveyed the damage he'd caused and then looked him straight in the eye. "Good morning, Sesshomaru."

"Lord Sesshomaru to you, girl!" a voice called. Jaken stomped over, his mouth open, ready to give Rin a tongue lashing, but he stopped in mid-stride, his mouth handing open.

Rin stood before everyone, dressed in the traditional red and white of a priestess, small red dots blossoming on the upper parts of her arms where Sesshomaru had grabbed her.

"Why are you dressed as a priestess?" he said.

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He had taken her by surprise when she'd first stepped out from her hut. The force in which he'd grabbed her, the violence of his touch, and the barely suppressed growl in his voice had frightened and aroused her all at once. She wanted to reject the choice she had made, fall into his arms and beg him to take her away, but the harsh realities of what life would be like in his court and the deep sadness she would live with for the rest of her life overcame her desires and she pushed back. How dare he lay a hand on her? How dare he question her choices before she'd even expressed them, as if he had a right to choose for her. She was no longer a child.

He loomed before her, the calm mask he wore cracking, the barely contained rage emanating in waves from his body. Why was he so angry? Why was he looking at her as if she'd grown a second head?

"Why are you dressed as a priestess?" he repeated.

"I have been trained as a priestess since I moved here. It's only natural that I should become one," she said.

He relaxed a fraction. "I see. I do not need a priestess. Change into something else and lets go." He turned away.

She hesitated. A significant part of her wanted to go with him, wanted to listen to him, wanted to experience the twisted desire she had for him everyday, torture herself until she could take it no more, so long as she was with him. But the part that had matured here in the village, the part that had become the woman she was today and would be tomorrow, rebelled. "No," she said.

He stopped and turned toward her again slowly. She felt exposed by his gaze as his eyes raked over her body and peered into her dark eyes. "Then come as you are." He turned away again.

She took a deep breath and said, "No."

Sesshomaru stopped again, this time not looking back. "As you wish," he said softly, then, "Jaken, let's go."

Rin watched as the one she loved walked out of her life.

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Jaken began almost at once when they were out of earshot. "How dare she defy you! You're not going to let her get away with this, my lord, are you? I shall go back and drag her home."

Sesshomaru heard the imp turn around. "Jaken," he said. "Let her be."

Jaken's mouth dropped open and he ran in front of Sesshomaru. "Surely you're not going to let her stay here? She was impudent and deserves to be punished."

Sesshomaru kept walking, ignoring the imp now that he had commanded him to let her be. What was she thinking? Why wasn't she skipping along behind him, happy to be coming home? Who was this woman who openly defied him in front of his stupid brother and the dim-witted villagers? And why hadn't he put her in her place, forced her to come with him, forced her to apologize on her knees?

He looked down at his hands, the tips of his talons that were still covered with her blood. He'd never drawn her blood before, had never treated her with anything but patience and gentle touches. How could she leave him? How could she choose a life that didn't involve her being by his side everyday? When had it become not enough to be with him? When had she changed? He had been sure of her, able to calculate what she would do up until that moment. He'd known that last time he saw her that she would choose to come home with him. What had driven her to change her mind? What had he done to make her leave for good? This was only supposed to be temporary.

Jaken was still wailing about Rin.

"Jaken!" he said. The imp quieted immediately. "Go home."

"What will you do, my Lord?" the imp said as he climbed on top of Ah-Un.

Sesshomaru walked away.

Read and Review please. I am not sure what happens in the series. I've only had glimpses of the upcoming manga volumes and I'm going on what I've learned. Rin decided to live with Kaede after Naraku is dead and Sesshomaru visits her frequently, bringing her gifts. He regenerates his arm at some point too. This story takes place after she grew up and became a woman. I suspect she stayed with Kaede b/c she would soon be reaching puberty and would have to learn how to care for herself from another woman.


	2. Chapter 2

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Two**

Kagome wrapped a bandage around Rin's upper arm. "They're not deep; the bandages are to protect your clothing from bloodstains."

Rin nodded and shrugged on a clean kimono shirt; the one with the bloodstains was soaking in a bucket nearby. "Thank you, Kagome."

Kagome's hands adjusted Rin's kimono, her eyes averted from Rin's face. Rin knew the miko wanted to say something, wanted to soothe the ache, but said instead, "You don't need to leave."

Rin pulled away. "I know, but I can't stay."

Kagome followed her out of the hut. "But why? You're welcome to stay here; we could use another priestess, especially since," but Kagome didn't finish the thought, unable to form the words.

"I--" Rin began, but her voice caught in her throat as Inuyasha approached. The sunlight falling on his features brought another face to mind; she turned away quickly, tears forming.

Kagome placed a hand on her shoulder and said, "I understand."

"You're leaving?" Inuyasha said, his hands hidden in his kimono.

Rin nodded, blinking back the tears. It seemed foolish to pretend she wasn't crying, especially with Inuyasha's heightened sense of smell, but she couldn't help herself; she didn't want to be crying right now. She promised herself when she first dressed in the robes of a priestess that she would be a new woman, one which wouldn't ache over a distant past and a lonely future.

He snorted. "Stupid woman." To her surprise he pulled her into an embrace and then released her quickly. "Come back sometime. Kagome and Izayoi will miss you."

Rin smiled. She said her goodbyes to everyone and was soon on the road to…somewhere else. Rin had no idea where she was going; she just knew she needed to get away. She'd spent her childhood on the road, knew the general area pretty well. A traveling priestess would be valuable to any village that didn't have their own personal priest or priestess. The general populace would welcome a priestess into their homes, would see to her needs better than a priest. She had knowledge and gender on her side and wasn't worried about wanting for anything.

She was worried about the dull ache growing in her chest and the need to burst into tears suddenly. She followed the dirt road, her lone footsteps clattering on the stones. She had some food, a bow, arrows, a knife, and a change of clothing. This was her new life, alone on the road to no where. What was she thinking?

She moved off the road and found a shady spot to lie down in. Laying down and staring up into the canopy of leaves, her mind worked over the choice she'd made today. She was out here, alone, no one to protect her, no one to confide in; she'd chosen this life over the life of tortured servitude with her Lord, "Sesshomaru," she muttered, trying to separate the demon she'd grown up with from the demon who had let her go without a backward glance.

"Rin," a soft voice said, jerking her from her reverie. She sat up and found the very demon she was trying to run away from leaning against a nearby tree.

She stood stiffly, her jaw clenched painfully and retreated back to the road; she knew he followed though she couldn't hear his footsteps. What was he doing here? Shouldn't he be…lording over his dominion somewhere? Why was he following her?

They walked in silence, Sesshomaru behind her, for what seemed like an eternity before she rounded on him and yelled, "What do you want?"

He stopped, his eyes widening. "Do I need a reason to follow you?"

Dark words stopped before she could utter them at his reply. Did he need a reason to do anything? No. He was a great lord, a daiyokai; he could do whatever he wanted. She turned away and began to walk again, the tense silence somewhat lessened from before.

He followed her all day, the silence lengthening into hours. When it was no longer safe or prudent to travel any longer, she found a secluded spot to camp in and started a fire. "If you're going to follow me, you might as well find us something to eat," she said, poking the fire until it blazed hot against the night sky.

Before the fire had calmed he presented her with an animal carcass, cleaned and ready to roast. She took it, turning it carefully so it cooked evenly. In her mind she reviewed all the times she'd spent with him; he'd never eaten in her presence and she'd never asked him what it was he ate. Did he even need to eat? Did he sleep? She followed him most of her life and now that she thought deeply, she didn't really know anything about him. He was a great demon; he had a half-brother named Inuyasha; he had an imp for a vassal; he had literally brought her back from death once; his mother had brought her back from death once; his mother thought she was a snack item; his father was dead; his father had also been a great demon. There were many other little tidbits she knew, but she didn't know him personally. What were his dreams? What did he think about? What made her so special that he would follow her for a whole day without saying a word?

"What do you eat?" she said before she could stop herself.

"I don't need to eat," he replied.

She might as well continue. "So you don't eat?"

"Never."

He was staring at her with those eyes again, making her cheeks flush. She wanted to run away but she also wanted to stay and talk with him. "You've never eaten anything?"

"Never," he repeated.

She chanced a look at him and then quickly looked away. "Sit down."

He seated himself across from her, his gaze never leaving her face.

His proximity to her made the hairs on her body rise. The young girl within her wanted to beg his forgiveness for turning away from him, but the woman within her demanded he beg for her forgiveness. "Where's Jaken?" she said, turning the roast.

"Home."

"You sent him home?"

"Yes."

"Why?" She peered at him through the fire, hoping he would answer, hoping his answer would be the one she was praying for, but he remained silent.

The roasted animal was done. She cut it into smaller pieces and offered some to him. "Try it," she said.

He narrowed his eyes but took a piece, opened his mouth and swallowed it whole. He grimaced.

She laughed. His expression, one of mild puzzlement at her reaction, caused her to fall backward and laugh harder. The laughter came up from the pit of her stomach, aching to be released after all the tension she'd gone through this afternoon. She rolled from side to side, clutching her stomach, tears streaming down her face as she laughed. Through the haze of her tears she saw him lean over her, felt him grab her wrists, felt his breath on her face as he spoke to her, felt herself being lifted from the ground, saw him lean closer to her face, his beautiful features contorted in panic, felt the deep rumbling from his chest. She pressed herself closer, his armor cutting into her flesh, and kissed him, deep and passionate, releasing all her frustration in one moment, begging him with her body to hear her plea. For a moment he let her and then he pushed her away, a look of deep disgust on his face.

She sobered, adjusting her clothes with shaking hands and turned away from him. "I'm sorry," she said, "I was overcome."

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Sesshomaru watched as she seated herself by the fire again, the priestess he'd followed all afternoon returning once more.

She continued to surprise him. He hadn't been prepared for her bout of laughter and tears, had been even less prepared for her sudden kiss. The moment she'd pressed herself against him and her soft lips had touched his own, his body had hardened painfully and he'd had the urge to rip into her, to feel her tremble beneath him in ecstasy and pain. He'd pushed her away to stop himself from going further, stop himself from hurting her. He never wanted to hurt her, never wanted to cause her to bleed, but today he'd done it twice, and both times she'd been aroused. He knew what she wanted, but she didn't know what she was asking, didn't know the consequences such actions would lead to. He couldn't do what she asked, couldn't fulfill her wish.

He sat across from her again and watched her eat. She wouldn't look at him. Her heart beat furiously in her chest and she was still aroused, but she wouldn't look at him. He wanted her to look at him, to be the girl who used to follow and wait for him faithfully. Where had she gone?

"Will you be staying all night?" she said, after she'd eaten.

"Yes," he replied.

"Then I will sleep."

He watched her as she arranged her bed roll and lay down, her back to the fire. He knew she was awake, would be unable to sleep for hours, if at all, but he let her be. He would watch her all night, would make sure no one or no thing came near her.

He'd followed her every move since she'd left the village, a shadow in the trees, silent and dark. He would have continued to follow her without her knowledge, but when she'd said his name while she was resting he couldn't help but respond with hers.

Why did he feel like he was stalking her? Like she was his prey and he was waiting for his moment to pounce and eat her up?

All day he'd followed her, like some love-sick puppy. He was disgusted with himself. What was he doing here, following a mortal woman? Why was he sitting here, watching her pretend to fall asleep? He should be…doing something…somewhere else.

But there was no place he'd rather be then right here, watching her. He'd spent the last few days waiting for the moment when she would finally come home, and when that moment had arrived she rejected him; she decided to stay in the mortal world and be a priestess, an occupation that was hazardous for her health. Couldn't she have picked a safer profession, like…what did mortal women do? Besides populating the world with more disgusting humans, what else did these mortals do? His observations concluded that Rin had only one other choice: to marry and have children. Was that why she chose to be a priestess instead? He should drag her home right now and put an end to this.

A soft snore pulled him from his thoughts and he was shocked to find that she had fallen asleep. He moved toward her to watch the moonlight as it filtered through the leaves and onto her beautiful face. He'd known when he'd first met her that she would grow into a beautiful woman; and here she laid, the girl he'd cared for, nurtured, protected from various demons and humans, the girl he'd retrieved from various evil things intent of using her as bait to kill him, now a grown woman. Her life would be but a blink in the entirety of his own, but he wanted her to be with him. She had been so devoted before, her faith perfect in him, and now she ran away.

She murmured his name and sighed, drawing the blanket closer to her body.

He watched the moonlight all night as it moved across her body, waiting for her to awaken from her slumber.

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Read and Review. Thanks for the reviews for chapter one.


	3. Chapter 3

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Three**

Rin woke alone. She turned over on her back and looked up into the canopy of leaves, small pockets of sky visible here and there. Around her the forest chattered and moved, the wind swaying the trees as it coursed along the ground. Her shoulder ached and her mind was embarrassed by her unintended display of affection towards her Lord, "Sesshomaru," she muttered. It seemed her heart continued to view her Lord, "Sesshomaru," she muttered, as the god who had saved her from death still; her subservient nature towards him was putting a damper on her newly-found maturity. Her mind said he was just a demon, a demon who had saved her from death for reasons he never cared to discuss, and he didn't deserve the undying allegiance she had once pursued him with; but her heart, her heart wanted to take her place by his side again, the place he'd come to collect her for just yesterday, the place she'd rejected because she didn't think she could handle the pain of being so close and yet so far.

He was nearby; she knew he was close. She didn't know exactly where he was or why he was hiding from her, but she knew he was there. He wouldn't have followed her all of yesterday just to leave her in the night, and he did say he was staying with her all night, so he was close by, but hidden.

She winced as she sat up, her head spinning slightly. She needed to eat and she needed a bath. Her preoccupation with being totally aware of his presence behind her yesterday made her forget what time of the month it was; surely she reeked and was badly in need of a bath. She ate what was left of supper, gathered her things, and went in search of a river.

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He watched her from the shadows, heard her say his name a couple of times. He wanted to be there with her, to be the first thing she saw when she awoke, but he couldn't bring himself to appear before her. He needed time to think, needed time to sort things out, needed time to figure out why she had rejected him; but he also needed to see her, to be with her, to be sure she was protected at all times. So he followed her, watching her from the shadows, aware that she was aware that he was there, but neither of them mentioning it.

He'd noticed a subtle change in their relationship when she decided to stay with the old priestess after the baka Naraku was dead. He had been curious and perplexed at her request, but had acceded to her wishes, as he always had. He'd never forced himself on her, never made her come with him; he'd always told her to do as she wished when she was given a choice. He didn't know how much he relied on her gentle innocence until she was gone, until it was just him and Jaken again.

From a distance he watched her grow, watched her mature. When she'd first begun to bleed he had approached the old priestess, his body tense and distressed but his face calm and passive. Rin was a bit more subdued in his presence but seemed unharmed: why did she smell so strongly of blood? When he'd learned that this was a natural process for human females, that this rite-of-passage indicated Rin's fertility, he'd been shocked. She was a child, had always been a child in his mind, and suddenly, in the space of a night she went from a child to a woman. She still was a child, she still skipped and jumped and played with flowers and smiled so innocently and without fear at him; but her body was maturing into an adult. Had she been in his sole care, what would he have done? He knew females went through a biological rite-of-passage, but beyond the technical knowledge he had nothing, no practical knowledge whatsoever.

He'd never discussed her unfolding maturity with her, just watched her grow and blossom, noticed the subtle changes of her scent, noticed the sheen of her hair and the glow of her cheeks when she saw him. Over time he'd become aware of her growing attraction for him, noticed the growing shyness and the way she would peek at him from beneath her lashes. He'd been flattered at first but then became disturbed with her growing obsession. She waited for him, but was aloof when he came near her; she pulled at him and pushed him away at the same time. It was a dangerous combination; he was at once drawn to her and repulsed by her, finding himself waiting for the next day he would see her, hoping that his gift would please her enough so that she would give up this game. She wove a web of such intricacy and delicacy that he wasn't even aware of it until recently.

And she did it unconsciously.

She didn't know what she did to him, didn't know the kind of desire she was dragging up in him. Didn't know the dangers she could face if he let her have her wish, if he let himself acknowledge that it was his wish too.

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It had been years since he'd seen her undress and bathe; she was a little self-conscious. Not only had he never seen her fully matured naked body, she was also perfectly aware how unusual this would be in the normal world, a grown human woman undressing and bathing with a powerful demon nearby and most likely watching. She'd never dare to ask him to turn away, but she couldn't help shaking a little as she slipped out of her clothes. She stood for a few moments, her back to the forest, before stepping quickly into the water and submerging herself wholly.

The water was cool, goose bumps forming all over her skin, her nipples becoming erect as she dipped below the surface. She wanted to hide here beneath the water until he went away, but that was impossible because he wasn't going anywhere for the time being; something about her intrigued him and he was going to pursue it until he was satisfied. That fact that she was uncomfortable in his presence now didn't seem to make any difference to him; it was atypical behavior for him: he was usually concerned with her comfort.

Unable to stay under any longer she burst up, dragging in a ragged breath and finding a concerned alpha demon standing at the river bank. She gasped and dived back down, her cheeks flushing even in the cold water. What was he doing? Why was he standing there with that look on his face? She came up for air and then dived back down, kicking away from the shore where he stood. She would have preferred he stay hidden in shadow. How would she get out of here without dying of embarrassment?

She came up for air again and glanced back, still seeing his form on the bank. She'd swum a great deal farther than she had intended; she'd better swim back before she tired herself out. She was kicking and stroking just as Kagome taught her when she felt something large slither pass her leg. _Don't stop; don't stop_, she repeated in her head. Whatever it was it was probably big, stupid and harmless. She felt it swim pass her again, this time a talon sneaking up along her thigh. She opened her mouth and inhaled a lot of river water.

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He was keeping a careful eye on Rin; even over the river he could hear the sound of her heartbeat, noticed the exact moment it sped up in unease. He was grabbing her out of the water before the demon could drag her too far under, shredding the offending water imp with his claws and hauling her back to the shore, to safety. She gasped and sputtered, throwing up gouts of water, her hands fisted on the earth as she tried to catch her breath. He covered her quickly with his outer garment and stood back, unsure what he should do. She was breathing and covered. He'd always been uncomfortably aware of his inability to offer suitable comfort for her; humans were a rodent; they didn't deserve studying.

Her fingers pulled his robe closed over her body as she knelt upright. She looked up at him, her dark eyes calm, the look of the girl he'd known so well overcoming her awkward maturity. She smiled and he turned away, trying to hide the blush that he knew was creeping over his features. If his tail wasn't hanging over his shoulder he was sure it would be wagging; why did he feel like he'd just been a "good boy"?

He walked away, giving her time to compose herself. A few minutes later he heard her footsteps coming up behind him, and he turned to her before she reached him. She hesitated for a moment, uncertainty in her eyes, before moving closer and handing him his robes. Her wet body was covered in her shirt kimono, her long legs naked beneath the hanging tails. He imagined that if her kimono had been made of thinner material he could probably see her entirely, but the sturdy material kept her upper body hidden from view. Her legs were on display for all to see, so he took a moment to look, noticing the increase in her scent as she caught him looking. When she'd undressed before he had looked away, more out of embarrassment than modesty; he knew she was uncomfortable and he wanted to spare her the embarrassment. But now she came to him, half-dressed, and if that wasn't invitation to look than he was his idiot half-brother.

Her legs were nicely curved and shapely, her calves plump and her thighs muscular. By the time he made it up to her eyes she was blushing furiously and unable to look him in the face. Her hand was still offering him his robes and he took them from her, his claws brushing her fingertips. She jumped and turned away, quickly disrobing by the shore and getting into the shallows. He watched her dip and sway in the water, rubbing her skin until it was red, and when she got out—this time without his assistance—he turned away and waited for her to dry off and dress.

She was leaning on a rock outcrop over the rushing water, fully dressed, methodically cleaning her bloodied clothing from yesterday. Her wet hair was piled loosely on her head and she concentrated unnecessarily hard at her task. He watched as she scrubbed everything; she frowned at the tear she found in her kimono and sighed when the blood wouldn't come off. She muttered, "Two in one day," and moved on to cleaning smaller pieces of cloth and he wondered where exactly would she wear that: he'd seen nothing of the sort on her person earlier.

By the time she was done the sun was up. She laid her clothes out to dry on a rock and sat down in the middle of the soft grass, her face upturned to the sun, a smile welcoming the rays on her face. He stood behind her and a little to the right, keeping out of her way and studying her.

"Sit," she said.

He obeyed without hesitation and they sat in silence, her face turned away, her eyes closed. He could still see some of the girl he'd known her to be in her face, but mostly she had changed and grown up. He wondered for the first time what she was thinking at this moment, and before he could stop himself he asked her.

She smiled, her eyes still closed. "I'm remembering the first moment I saw you, in the woods, leaning against the tree." She turned and looked at him. "I thought you were a god."

He said nothing.

She continued. "I was sure after I left you the first time that you wouldn't be there when I returned, but you were, and I was so happy to offer you what little I could." She snorted, a trait she must have picked up from his brother and the little miko. "It never mattered to me that I would get in trouble for taking food from the village stores to offer you." He'd guessed before that her bruises were from the villagers; the smell of older men mixed with her blood disgusted him in a way he'd never experienced before: he was upset that they should beat this girl child.

She looked down, her eyes glazing over in melancholy. "When the wolves came all I could think about was getting to you. I knew you could protect me. I thought that if I ran to you, you would come and save me." Tears welled up in her eyes. "But I never made it. I was lost in the darkness for so long." The tears fell down her cheeks.

She'd never spoken of the attack, of the wolves killing everyone in her village. When he'd revived her she'd followed him willingly, mute for weeks, smiling at him and offering him flowers from every glade they passed through. He'd let her follow him, wondering if the Tenseiga would affect her in any way besides reviving her. But the little he'd known of her beforehand didn't bode well for an experiment; he couldn't really compare her behavior before and after. All her could say definitively of the Tenseiga was that it revived her and there appeared to be no ill effects. She was the first person he'd ever revived; he felt mildly responsible for her. He promised himself he would drop her off at the next village, but he always found himself detouring around the villages, patiently waiting for her to finish playing so they could move on. Every village they encountered he would tell her to do as she wished; she always followed.

"But then you came and you saved me—from death. I woke and there you were, standing over me with your sword, a perplexed look on your face. When you walked away all I could do was follow. I was so happy to be alive, happy to be following you, happy that you would let me be with you for however long you wished. This Rin loved you as a god." Her speech fell into her old pattern and he felt a tugging in his chest, remembering how happily she would chatter away about anything.

"I was happy." She smiled again, her face turned toward the sun. "I was so happy for a very long time. You were my god, my protector. I had perfect faith in you, knew you would come to my aid whenever I called."

He still would come to her aid. He'd always protect her. He couldn't help but protect her, after so many years of watching over her. Did she think he wouldn't still protect her? Did she think he would desert her?

A cloud passed over the sun, her smile falling. "But then I began to love you in a different way, a selfish way. I suddenly wanted you all to myself, wanted you to love me, not only tolerate me. I wanted you cherish me the way I cherished you in my heart. I nursed this love in my heart for so long, keeping it hidden from you. I didn't want to embarrass you with my love."

She thought he would be embarrassed by her love? Human women were a mystery.

"I chose the life of a priestess because I couldn't stand not being your wife and living with you, and I couldn't take a man into my heart. This is the only option I have. Please don't make me regret my choice."

She was trying to keep back the tears, trying to be strong. He could never deal with tears, didn't know what to do. Even now, as her heart was breaking, she was trying to make things easier for him. She was asking him to leave her alone, to let her live her life the way she intended, and he couldn't let her go. He was chasing after her, a shadow at her back, and it was hurting her.

He brushed the back of his fingers down her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned toward him, her body swaying in the wind. The sun appeared from behind its cloud, shedding new light on her glistening face, the trails of her tears sparkling against her cheeks. He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips, his fangs grazing her bottom lip and drawing blood. Her body stilled at the gentle pressure of his lips and she parted hers slightly, licking him. The blood thrummed in his body, rushing to all the places he had rejected as of late, hardening all his muscles. He felt the dark needs of his heart coming to the surface again, wanting to take this woman who was offering herself so willingly to him, human though she was, and make her writhe and scream beneath him.

He pulled away from her slowly. She opened her eyes, sorrow etched in every corner, and she turned away from him. He left her.

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Rin sat in the shade of a tree, truly alone for the first time in her life since Sesshomaru had entered it. Now that he was gone, truly gone forever, she was able to distance herself from the demon she had grown to love over the years. Her heart was no longer breaking; it was broken. She gathered her things together and tried to leave the pieces by the river where he had kissed her goodbye.

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Read and Review. It's not over. Thanks for the reviews for Chapter 2. I enjoy reading them; makes me happy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Four**

Several weeks later…

Time doesn't heal wounds; time only dulls the pain. An obsession that consumes your mind will dwindle over time without the source, but it never goes away. A scent on the breeze, a soft whisper, a familiar place, something will always bring the object of your obsession back to mind, and each time its like being punched in the stomach; your breath is sucked out of your lungs and your mind is flooded with images and tactile sensations. Rin was unhappy, but she was pressing on, ever on to the next village and the next one after that, looking for somewhere to settle and live out the rest of her sad existence.

Running footsteps broke her from her melancholy; a man was running toward her, blood streaming down his face in rivers. He fell to his knees before her and cried, "Priestess! Help! A demon in the village!" He collapsed before her in a heap.

She reached down and checked his pulse, one of the many things Kagome had taught her over the years. His pulse was weak and he was too large for her to move on her own. She dragged him over to the side of the road, arranging him as comfortably as she could, and then took off down the road, pacing her run so she wouldn't be short of breath by the time she reached the village. She ditched her belongings before entering the village, only the bow and arrows over her shoulder.

A group of men surrounded a large spider. Flashes of Naraku came to mind but she shoved them away; Naraku was dead. This spider was just large and rather dumb in comparison. The fangs clicked together furiously and it lunged at the men, trying to knock the spears out of their hands with its legs. Anything with more than two legs invariably took longer to move, longer to arrange its legs for any kind of motion.

"A priestess!" someone shrieked as she sheathed an arrow and released it. The arrow hit the spider above its eyes and it screamed, an ungodly high pitch ringing that made the men cower, covering their ears in pain. It saw its chance; one of its legs whipped out to spear a man in the chest. Rin released another arrow and shattered the spiders leg, making it scream again. The men scrambled away from it as it wobbled on it remaining legs, trying to adjust for the deficient. It focused its attention and ran toward her, poison dripping from its fangs which never stopped clicking. She released another arrow, shattering another leg, but forward momentum kept it coming, so she shot it again, this time causing the spider to roll but it was still coming.

She jumped out of the way. Luck halted the spider in the place she had just vacated and it turned its fangs on her. _There's no time_, she thought, and she closed her eyes as its fangs plunged down on her.

A growl snapped her eyes open to attention and she found the spider several feet away, a large cat mauling it with its large fangs. "Kirara!" a man yelled, and the great cat jumped aside as a blade held on a long chain whipped forward and crushed the skull of the spider. It twitched once, twice, and was still.

The man pulled his blade from the spiders skull and turned, saying, "Priestess."

"Kohaku," she said.

He tilted his masked face and stared at her before coming forward and saying, "Rin?"

She nodded.

He removed his mask and smiled. Kirara padded over and nudged Rin's hand, her chest rumbling in greeting. Rin scratched the fire neko behind the ears.

The villagers were pulling together in the aftermath of the battle, rushing here and there, helping the injured into shelter.

"There's a man," Rin said, pointing along the road, "back there; he needs help."

"Kirara," Kohaku said and they ran off in the direction she'd pointed.

She gathered her things and set to the task of healing those she could and offering comfort to those she couldn't. Most of the injured suffered minor abrasions, but one child was dead. The mother wailed as her husband grasped her firmly by the shoulders, his face stoic but his eyes red and in pain. Kohaku came back with the man on Kirara's back; he shook his head as he placed him on the ground. A woman and child came running, the woman crying as she fell over the man's body; the child stood, mute besides her mother, tears rushing down her cheeks. Rin's heart ached.

The task of healing the injured and burying the dead is quicker when you're the outsider looking in. Rin felt their pain, but time didn't slow for her as it did for those in mourning. The girl child didn't move a foot from her deceased father the whole time, her face closed off and her eyes distant. As the sun went down and the earth covered her father, she just stared and stared, and she wouldn't move even when her mother tried to cajole her into leaving. Despair sent the woman back to her hut, leaving the child alone in the growing darkness. Rin stood beside the child, waiting.

"Daddy isn't coming back, is he?" the child said.

Rin placed her hand on the girls shoulder. The child began to cry, bitter tears falling into the newly turned earth; she fell to her knees and wailed, her small hand digging into the earth. Rin gathered her into her arms and rocked back and forth, remembering a time long ago when she stood as this child stood, but instead of one there were two graves. This was what she wanted someone to do for her when she was young, and so she did it now, hoping that this action would save the child some pain in the future. The girl clutched Rin's kimono, her dirty hands soiling the white fabric. Her high pitched keening hurt Rin's ears but she didn't push the child away, only held her tighter as tears began to course down her own cheeks, the tears she should have shed so many years ago. They cried together for a long time.

The girl quieted and fell asleep, her breath moist and heavy on Rin's neck. Rin stood, shifting the girl so she wouldn't fall, and walked to her mother's hut. The woman peeked out at Rin's soft call and gathered the girl into her arms, fresh tears falling on the sleeping child. The woman nodded her gratitude and disappeared into the hut.

A man came forward, wringing his hands in front of him. "Priestess, we have heated a bath and prepared a place for you to rest. We would be honored if you stayed tonight."

Rin followed the man to the bath house and submerged herself in the hot water as a village woman took away her soiled clothing. The day replayed in her head. She recalled the moment she expected to die. If Kohaku hadn't come she would have let death take her away. Did she have a death wish? Perhaps. Life didn't seem worth all the trouble.

It had been a long time since she'd seen Kohaku. He disappeared after Naraku was killed and rarely ever returned to the village. She couldn't blame him; he had all his memories back, all the memories of killing his family with his weapon, even if he was possessed. He'd killed hundreds of people when he was under Naraku's sway, some without his consent and others because he was unable to do anything else. And he remembered everything. He would spend the rest of his life trying to do penance for the sins of his past.

Rin sat for a long while, letting the hot water soften her sore muscles. It had been awhile since she'd taken a bath in a tub; she hadn't come across many hot springs either in her travels. She let the heat seep into her body and relax her tired mind.

A woman interrupted her small doze. "Your supper is ready, Priestess."

Rin dragged her body from the water and dressed in the yukata provided for her comfort. She followed the woman to a large hut, obviously the headmen's hut, and was greeted by Kohaku who stood when she enter the dining chamber.

"The demon slayer said he was a childhood friend of yours," the woman said, looking between Rin and Kohaku.

Rin nodded. "Yes, we know each other."

The woman bowed out and Rin was left alone with Kohaku. She knelt and picked up a plate and began to eat.

He mirrored her. The silence stretched on; Rin was tired but not uncomfortable.

"How are you, Rin?" he said.

She mustered a small smile. "Fine. I've been traveling for a few months now."

"Alone?" he said, sipping his soup.

She nodded. "Sango and the children are well."

He coughed. "That's good. I should really get back more."

"Yes, you should."

Kirara bounded into the room and rubbed herself against Rin's side, mewling softly. Rin sat and gathered the neko into her arms, petting the silky fur softly until Kirara fell asleep, her nose hidden beneath her tail.

Kohaku watched them for a moment before saying, "Why are you here, Rin?"

Rin knew he wasn't asking why she was here in this village; he was asking why she was here in this village without Sesshomaru. Kohaku knew how close she was to Sesshomaru; they'd traveled together for a short time; Sesshomaru even risked his life to save him once.

"I chose this life," she said.

She shifted, waking Kirara. The neko yawned and jumped off of her lap, walking over to Kohaku and curling up beside him, falling back to sleep again. Rin stood. "I shall retire."

She followed the woman waiting outside for her to her bedchambers and lay awake for a long time, old memories plaguing her.

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Sesshomaru looked out his bedroom window and stared at the moon. He recalled a story Rin had told him once, about monsters that changed under the full moon.

"You will protect Rin if such a monster appears?" she said, clinging to his neck as she sat in his lap.

He had looked at her, perplexed. She'd been living in this village for only a few weeks and she was asking him these ridiculous questions. He would have to speak to the old woman and little miko before he left; Rin shouldn't be worried about these fictional monsters. "Of course," he replied, and she had smiled at him, resting her head on his armor-less shoulder.

In the corridor the imp paced back and forth, dragging his little feet every step. Sesshomaru had thought the imp depressed before; apparently the imp's mood had sunk to a new low: Jaken was barely eating and never complained. If Sesshomaru had known it would take Rin's complete absence to make the imp shut up, he would have…done nothing. He wasn't fool enough to dismiss that he did miss Rin.

He knew where she was. He was lord over these lands; he had spies everywhere. He knew her every move, knew the dangers she faced before she encountered them. He waited now for one of his servants to come back with the days report.

A knock sounded on the door. "Come," he said, not turning around.

A lesser dog demon entered. "My Lord, today Rin battled a spider demon."

Sesshomaru's ire rose but he said, "I see." If she had been hurt it would have been the first thing out of the demon's mouth.

"The demon slayer, Kohaku, defeated the demon. She rests now in the village."

Kohaku. "She did not defeat the demon herself."

"No, my Lord." The demon paused. "She hesitated when the demon came at her."

She hesitated. Sesshomaru flicked his claws in dismissal and the demon bowed out.

She hesitated. She hesitated. If Kohaku hadn't come along she would be dead. Dead. She hesitated.

He snapped his jaws and removed himself from the window. Jaken scurried into the room and said, "What news, my Lord?" The little demon looked up at him, hope blossoming in his eyes.

"She hesitated and could have died," he replied, pacing pass his vassal.

Jaken sputtered. "Then we must go and get her, My Lord. She cannot care for herself."

Sesshomaru returned to the window. He transformed into a phantom dog and jumped.

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"My Lord," a voice said as Sesshomaru landed, his tongue lolling out. He snapped in the direction of the voice and was greeted with a growl by a small fire neko; well, small in comparison to him.

He transformed back into his human form. "Kohaku."

The demon slayer was bowed on one knee. He removed his mask and stood. "Rin is asleep."

Sesshomaru moved into the village, scaring the old men who were talking quietly in front of a fire. Kohaku nodded reassuringly to them, but they scattered anyway. Sesshomaru found Rin's chamber and stepped inside, leaving Kohaku outside.

She continued to sleep, the covers twisted around her body, exposing long lengths of her legs. She dreamed of something dark, her brow furrow. He ran a claw along her brow and it smoothed immediately. "Sesshomaru," she murmured, turning in her sleep and sighing. He watched her for a long time; the dark dreams didn't return while he waited.

As her heartbeat began to pick up, he left. Kohaku followed him to the outskirts of the village. "I will stay with her, my Lord," Kohaku said.

Sesshomaru left as the sun was peeking over the horizon.

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_She was lost. She cried and cried, but no one came to get her. Where was she? Where was everyone? A growl rumbled behind her and she ran. Why was she so slow? She looked down and found she was running on short chubby legs, and she was dressed in not better than rags, her eye black and blue. The wolves were coming to get her. They were gaining. She had to run faster. Faster. Faster. He was just around the bend, waiting for her, waiting for her offering, just waiting. If she made it, he would protect her. He would always protect her. He was a god. _

_Oh god she wasn't going to make it. They were coming for her. They were gaining, getting closer, closer. She tried to scream but nothing came out, her voice gone from disuse; a raspy rattling came from her throat, nothing louder than a breath. Don't look, don't look; keep running, faster._

_She tripped and fell, bringing her hands up to protect her face as the wolves launched their muscled bodies in the air. No! No! No!_

_A white light blinded the wolves and they faltered in mid-air, trying to rear back on nothing. A green whip flashed in the air and the wolves were shred to pieces. She turned, looking up, and saw her savior. He leaned down and she took his hand, his face unsmiling as he lifted her to her feet. She barely reached his shoulder in height; she was dressed in priestess robes and he looked down at her, his face impassive in the light. He traced a talon along her jaw and leaned down, sniffing the hollow of her neck were her pulse beat erratically. She closed her eyes…_

And opened them to the morning light spreading across her futon. She sat up, disappointed. It was just a dream.

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Read and review. Thanks for the encouragement.

Would have posted this sooner but the site was funky this weekend. Yay! It's Fixed!


	5. Chapter 5

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter 5**

Rin waited in the darkness, listening to the village as it slept; the silence was broken by the cicada's singing in the distance and the light snoring from the hut she was standing near. The moon was dark tonight, making the surrounding darkness into an entity of its own, but Rin couldn't rest tonight, not when the demon was still taking the children. She, Kohaku, and Kirara had stood guard for the last eighteen nights, waiting for the unseen and silent threat that was stealing away all the village children. The dark side of the moon was at its zenith tonight; Rin suspected the demon would make its move tonight.

Something moved. Rin didn't hear anything, didn't really even see anything, but she knew something had entered the village; the darkness pressed in closer, the shadows moving. But she stayed still, waiting for the tell-tale sparks.

A spark, south of her position, gave away the demon as its demonic energy encountered her sutra. The main road flooded with light as Kirara jumped down from her perch, the huge fire neko growling. A demon crouched near a door, rubbing its claws, its eyes narrowed. It was very small and carried a gourd around its middle, tied to its person by a rope.

Rin raised her bow and released an arrow, the tsuru thrumming as the arrow sped toward the demon. The demon used the gourd as a shield and fled, Kirara hot on its heels. The gourd shattered and a shimmering dust-plume materialized for a second before falling to the ground and vanishing. A small face peered out of the doorway, dark eyes round and alert. "Priestess Rin?"

Rin retrieved her arrow and patted the child on the head. "Go back to sleep, Yukie."

The small girl looked up, biting her lower lip. "Did you get it?"

Rin smiled. "Yes; don't worry; go to sleep."

The girl yawned, rubbing her eyes, and turned back into the hut.

Kohaku appeared, silent, dressed in the dark colors of his demon slayer uniform. "Kirara chased it back to its burrow."

Rin followed Kohaku into the forest. The darkness was complete, all light shuttered away by the dense canopy of leaves. Kohaku lit a torch and she followed the light for some time, knowing the sight she'd meet when they reached their destination.

Kirara stood on the dead demon, her large paw crushing it into the ground. She turned her head and mewled softly. Rin stepped forward, taking the torch from Kohaku and crouching down to look in the burrow: it was littered with bones, many of the human. Rin closed her eyes and said a prayer. There was nothing she could do for the missing children but lay them to rest when this dark night was over.

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The next day was long and tiring, and by the end of it Rin was at the end of her mental tether. Death was the only certainty in life; everyone died and everyone suffered.

She sat by a spring, listening to the water as it flowed over the pebbles, trying to find her center, the place where she was but a reed in rushing water, bending and swaying as the tide swelled and receded. A face pushed through her mental exercise and she gave up, opening her eyes and sighing.

"Are you all right, Rin?" a voice said.

Rin stood and turned to the child. "Yes, Yukie; I was just listening to the spring."

Yukie stood over the spring and peered down at it, her features carefully arranged in a way only a child can do when they are seriously considering a statement made by a respected adult. "What is it saying?"

Rin smiled and sat down again, beckoning the child to sit with her. Yukie sat on the ground, her chin leaning on Rin's knee. "If you listen closely," Rin whispered, "you can hear the spring tell a story about how it came to be, high in the mountains, far from here."

Yukie closed her eyes and leaned toward the spring. After a time, she said, "I can't here it."

They sat in silence for awhile, the sun slowly receding to its rest in the sea. Rin began, "Once upon a time in a far away place, high in the sky, where only clouds and snow-covered mountain peaks dwell, there was a snowflake. This snowflake lived at the top of the mountain with all the other little snowflakes, each different and beautiful, because everyone knows that no two snowflakes are alike, ne?" The girl nodded.

"Now some clouds, the small ones that aren't much more than mist, they are arrogant and mean; they would crawl up the mountain and tell such outrageous tales about their time down in the lowlands, places where the snowflake could never go. These clouds would go on and on about the adventures they had, such as making people lost in a thick mist or making everything damp and sodden as they hung around for days and days, never releasing the people from their cold grasp.

"The snowflake listened to these stories and though the stories seemed horrible and mean, it longed to go down to the valleys and see what life was like below the snow-covered peaks. When it mentioned to the clouds that it would like to one day go down and see what the world was like, the clouds laughed saying, 'You're just a little snowflake; you belong up here with all the other little snowflakes; you would never survive down below.'

"But the snowflake was undeterred. It knew that sometimes, when it was warm in the lower elevations, some snowflakes would melt and become a running drop of water. It floated down to a lower elevation and waited for its moment, and sooner than it expected it became a drop of water and slid down the mountainside.

"It sank into the mountain and was swept up in a bunch of water drops flowing through the river. 'What is this?' it said to a fellow water drop.

'This is a river.'

'What's a river?' it asked; it had never heard of a river before.

'A large body of water that moves towards the sea.'

'What's a sea?'

'A bigger body of water that covers most of the earth.'

"The snowflake learned much from the other drops of water as it traveled through the mountain. The world was a very big place filled with many different things. It encountered some water droplets that had run with this same river over and over and over, and others that had run through other rivers far away. It learned of the big clouds and rain and evaporation. And when it exited the mountain it learned about people and animals; it watched men fishing and women washing; watched animals drinking and wondered what happened to the water droplets that were swallowed up.

"But as time passed it began to miss its home, miss the other snowflakes that lived in eternal beauty and bliss high above all this chaos. It longed to return home to its mountain top, to once again be a little snowflake.

"So now," Rin said, "it swims swiftly along the river, hoping that when it reaches the sea one of the big clouds with scoop it up and return it to its mountain top."

Yukie sat for a long time, her eyes closed and listening to the spring. The sun had set behind the trees and the birds had stopped their shrill calling for the night.

A voice cried, "Yukie! Yukie! Come home, Yukie."

Rin stood and helped the girl to her feet. "Your mother calls; let's return to the village."

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The next day Kohaku disturbed Rin's meditation. "The landlord comes."

Kohaku and Kirara had been her constant companions since she'd run into them while fighting the spider demon. They were silent and helpful companions, leaving her alone most of the time, Kohaku never disturbing the peace with banal words and anecdotes.

Rin had never met the landlord, though what she heard about him from the villagers was kind enough; he was generally fair and made sure all his tenants were gainfully employed. She stood in front of a small shrine and waited as the landlord slowly made his way towards hers, stopping to collect rent and speak with his tenants. When he finally reached her she was greeted by a young man, mostly likely only a few years older than she, his face handsome, his body muscled. He bowed and said, "Priestess Rin; I have heard many things about you."

She inclined her head, her eyes never leaving his face.

He turned to Kohaku. "And you, the demon slayer and your great fire cat; I have much to thank you for."

Kohaku bowed and Kirara watched the exchange in her smaller form.

The headman offered his hand to her and she sniffed his fingers before turning away. He laughed. "I am glad not all cats can turn into great fiery beasts or I would be mortally afraid of them all; she doesn't seem to like me, just as every other cat I've ever encountered."

Kirara jumped onto Rin's shoulder and sat, waiting. Rin scratched her behind the ears and said nothing.

"I am Yoshimura Oda." He made a deep, flourishing bow and gave her a lopsided smile, showing his teeth. Rin was mildly disturbed by his movements but remained still, Kirara sitting silent on her shoulder. He stood there for a few moments, his smile plastered to his face, as if waiting for her to say something.

"We will be leaving," Rin said.

His face fell. "Now? Surely you will stay the night in my home and take your rest for a few days in comfort; it is the least I can do after all the good you've done for the village."

Rin didn't like the glassy look in his eye. "No, we really should be moving on today."

Yukie came running forward. "Please stay, Rin; stay with us."

Yoshimura's smile returned. "Surely you would not deny this child her wish."

Yukie held her hand tightly, her eyes large and watering. No, Rin could not say no to the child, but the feeling creeping along her skin was not good; it was not like her to feel ill-at-ease around people. She would have to watch Yoshimura. "We will stay one more night."

Yoshimura clapped his hands. "Excellent. I will prepare a feast in your honors. Please, come with me," he said, turning away and leading them to his home which was some way in the far distance.

They followed.

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Rin sat in an elaborate kimono at a table in the main hall, Yoshimura immediately to her right and Kohaku and Kirara at the far end of the table. Dozens of dishes were arranged on the dark lacquered table which was surrounded by a handful of men. The kimono she wore was a good weave, but cheaper than the ones she was used to; it scratched at the skin and was heavy. But it was clean and available while she waited for the servants to launder and dry her own clothing.

The men of the castle were talking and laughing. The three outsiders sat and watched; Kohaku's shoulders were stiff and he appeared to be coiled like a spring ready to jump; Kirara sat, her food untouched. Rin's sense of foreboding increased, but she remained silent and just watched. Everything appeared normal but she couldn't get her skin to stop crawling, even after she'd scrubbed it red when she bathed before dinner.

Dinner was interrupted by a bleeding man stumbling into the room. "Demon," he cried, before collapsing.

Everyone was up and running. Someone yelled, "It Ida, from the next village over." Someone else yelled, "Where's all this blood coming from? Is he dead?"

Rin knelt beside the man, the kimono soaking in the blood that wasn't already soaking into the tatami; the man was covered in blood but his pulse was strong. "He's only fainted." She stood and called Kirara to her side. Kohaku came and got astride the fire neko, offering his hand to her.

"Priestess, where are you going?" Yoshimura said. He grabbed her arm.

She turned her head sharply. "To do my duty."

"You are in heavy robes and unarmed. How can you possibly fight this demon now?"

He was right; she would need to change first. "Do you have horse?"

He nodded.

She turned to Kohaku and Kirara. "Go, I will follow."

Kohaku nodded and took off. Rin didn't wait to see them off; she turned and walked as fast as she could to her room, hoping her clothes would be ready. The men behind her were shouting and she drew closer to her room their voices grew fainter. She was relieved to find her clothes newly cleaned and dried in her quarters; she shut the shoji door and began to arduous task of undressing herself.

She hadn't gotten passed the first layer when the shoji door opened behind her back. All at once her mind connected the dots: the man covered in blood but with a strong pulse, the heavy robes, the long corridor to her room. The dots spelled TRAP.

She spun around, using the first layer like a whip, but her feet grew entangled in the other layers and she fell forward into Yoshimura's grasp. Her skin crawled as he smiled down at her.

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Read and review. Thanks for the reviews; brightens my day. Sorry this took awhile; been weird in the head lately.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Rin has no powers of purification. She is just an ordinary person who is a priestess, which means any "shrine magic" she can do involves sutras and prayer. In no way is she a magical being.

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine**

**Chapter Six**

Rin was unhappy. She was damp, in the back of a cart, her hands tied behind her back, her feet bound, a gag covering her mouth. She had been transferred from the Yoshimura's house to a boat, where she was thrown overboard and then hauled back on, and then onto a cart; she could only guess that the dunk in the water was to conceal her scent from Kirara.

The cart jerked and she cried out, her head hitting the bottom hard. For a moment she saw stars in the darkness behind her eyelids.

"Careful!" someone yelled. "He'll be pissed if she's bruised; he won't pay us full price."

_Full price for what? _Originally she thought Yoshimura was going to rape her or do some other vile thing, but he hadn't; he had her bound and sent with these men. Her robes had caused more than just heaviness in the limbs; they made her stupid too. She should have never agreed to wear the damn thing.

The cart stopped and she was hauled from it roughly, her eyes getting a good look at her captors butt. He walked, carrying her like a bag of rice, into a cave. She squirmed, trying to see her surroundings, but he jerked her back into place. After awhile he came to a door; he muttered to someone, who opened the door, and then he dumped her on the ground, locking the door behind him.

Soft hands removed the ties that bound arms and feet; she removed the gag. She stood and surveyed the room. A handful of women were in the cell with her, all of them in some state of disarray, all young and all beautiful. Full price: slave traders.

The door opened and a man entered, carrying a set of clothing. "Put this on," he said, throwing his bundle at her. He stayed and watched as she changed; Rin refused to be embarrassed. She handed him the clothing she had been captured in, the stupid robes; he snatched them and turned away, his jaw clenched. Clearly she had made him unhappy by not cowering.

She sat down, tearing a piece of her kimono shirt to tie her hair back. "Where are we?" she asked.

The women looked at one another before one of them stepped forward. "We don't know."

Rin directed her next question to this woman. "How long have you been here?"

The woman began to shake. "I don't know."

Rin sighed. They were no more than children really, these women in this dark cell. This was probably the first tragedy to strike them in their well-loved lives. It was something to be pitied, the innocence of youth; and envied.

The woman was still standing there, as if waiting to be dismissed. Rin stood; it was her duty as a priestess to protect the innocent and to comfort the hurting. "Are you hurt?" she said softly, placing her hand on the trembling woman's shoulder.

The woman looked up and began to cry, big tears streaming down her face. Rin gathered her into her arms and rocked softly, back and forth. The other women back to cry as well, their wails filling the small room, echoing back the sound, magnifying it until it felt like the cave itself was crying bitter tears. The guard shouted for them to shut up, but it only increased the wailing, the sound rebounding on and on until the guard came in the cell himself and threatened to knock on someone with his club.

Rin hushed the crying women and the guard retreated, his face a mask of anger.

Rin drew the woman she was holding into the circle of the other captives and sat among them, the young woman's head on her lap. "Are any of you hurt?" Rin asked.

All of them shook their heads no. They huddled close around her, and one of them whispered, "Aren't you afraid?"

A smile ghosted on Rin's lips and she said, "No."

The women looked at one another and another said, "Why not? Don't you know what they're going to do to us?"

Rin dismissed the comment. "There is nothing they can do to me that will make me afraid of them."

"Who are you?" someone said.

"A priestess."

The women began to whisper. "A priestess?"

Rin nodded. "So you'll understand why I'm not afraid of men."

"The kami will not save us; we have all been praying."

Rin shook her head. "I will save myself."

Someone gasped. "How can you? You are a woman, a priestess, yes, but still a woman. The men will overpower you."

Rin sighed. "Because there is no one else who will save me."

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Sesshomaru was pondering the stupidity of mortal men when Jaken shrieked; the imp had become more and more distraught since Rin had left. "Jaken," he said as the demon ran into his chambers, the demon slayer and fire neko at his heels.

"She is taken, my Lord!" Jaken shrieked.

Rin was taken. Sesshomaru entertained the thought of leaving her to her own devices as she had asked, but dismissed it quickly. No matter what she said, she was still his ward and he was still her protector.

So he chased her scent, following it to the cave mouth where she currently resided.

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Rin sat among the women, watching over them as they slept. She was tired too, but she couldn't sleep, not yet, not while still waiting for the other "shoe to drop," as Kagome was say. She didn't have long to wait.

"You!" the guard said, waking the women when he opened the door. "Come with me."

Rin disentangled herself from the groggy women and followed the man to a well-lit large chamber. At a deeply scarred table a well-manicured man sat idly picking at his nails with a knife. He set the knife aside as he looked up at her. "Leave us," he said, and they were alone.

He circled her, scrutinizing her form and her features. "Very nice," he said. He examined her hands and clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Callus."

"I am a priestess," she said.

"A traveling priestess," he said absently. He continued to circle her, pinching here and touching there. "Undress," he said, turning away from her.

"No."

He turned back, his eye brows raised. "No?"

She said nothing.

He smiled. "Do you think you have a choice?"

She said nothing.

"Undress."

She said nothing.

"If you will not obey me, then I will cut the clothes from your body," he said, picking up the knife and advancing on her.

She stood, waiting for him, her limbs loose and her mind intent. One hit, all he needed was one hit and he would be the victor. She had to be fast and she had to be good. He grabbed her clothes, the knife coming up to her neck.

She clapped her hands on the side of his head, over his ears, hard and then brought her arms down, knocking the knife out of his grasp and releasing his hold on her. He screamed. She brought her knee up and his head down, knocking him out and silencing his scream.

She picked up the knife and turned to the door, expecting his men to come bursting in, and she wasn't disappointed. The door opened, she threw the knife, and found Sesshomaru standing there, the knife protruding from his chest.

All thought left her mind as she saw him standing there, blood seeping from his wound. He looked down and absently batted the knife away. It disintegrated before it touched the ground, a green mist forming where it had once been and then dissipating.

What was he doing here? He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be standing there at the door, shouldn't be coming to her rescue. How did he even know? Kohaku and Kirara came charging in, and Rin knew; they had been watching over her, for him. Kohaku was Sesshomaru's eyes and ears.

Anger welled up inside her, anger at Sesshomaru, anger at Kohaku, anger at herself. He couldn't be coming to her rescue anymore, couldn't have spies watching her every move; he couldn't do this to her anymore. Why wouldn't he leave her alone?

The man she'd knocked out groaned; she kicked him and he quieted.

"Rin," Sesshomaru said.

She walked toward him, and then passed him. "Kirara," she said, and the big cat followed her out of the cave. "Take me to Yoshimura's."

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The man woke as Sesshomaru pressed down on his throat with his foot. The man desperately tried to push Sesshomaru off, but to no avail; the bones in his neck cracked and he went limp, dead.

"My Lord, there are other women here," Kohaku said from the doorway.

Sesshomaru wasn't interested in the other women; he was only interested in Rin. And she had walked away from him again.

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Rin found her clothes in one of the servant quarters at Yoshimura's house. The servant woman who had cleaned her robes cried when she appeared, patting her face and silently handing over all of Rin's things. Rin wasn't here to punish the servants. She was here to punish Yoshimura.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha isn't mine.**

**Chapter Seven**

Years of training and a good example had taught Rin stealth. Following, watching, and accompanying Sesshomaru in life and in battle had taught her many things about tracking and catching an enemy. Sure, slow steps, heel to toe, heel to toe. Being human she didn't have Sesshomaru's swiftness and being a woman she didn't have Yoshimura's strength; but she had surprise on her side. And she was pissed off. It wouldn't do to go stomping around the place.

Servants scurried away from her as she walked through the halls. She crept silently, dispatching the men who sat at what was supposed to be her last supper. A haze had settled over Rin's mind, bleeding her mind red, her blood coursing swiftly through her veins. How dare they; how dare they; how dare he; how dare he; I just want to be left alone; leave me alone; leave me alone.

She slid back the shoji door to the master bedroom and found Yoshimura in bed with a woman; he slept while the woman lay rigidly beside him, her eyes open and twin trails of wetness down her cheeks. The woman gasped and pulled herself into a corner, her head tucked into her knees; Rin dismissed her.

Yoshimura woke as the woman began to whimper. "What-" he began, but when he saw Rin standing in his doorway he stood and pulled a sword from beside his futon, leveling it at her. "Priestess," he said. "Is this any way to treat your host, with a drawn arrow?"

Rin hadn't realized she'd drawn the arrow until he mentioned it. She should just kill him now; she had the upper hand. He wouldn't be able to move fast enough to get out of the way, and the force of the arrow would drive him back further, rendering the sword useless. The woman continued to whimper in the corner.

Rin lowered her bow, returning the arrow to her quiver. She carried a long bow, several inches taller than she; now she held it in her right hand as she would a staff.

He sneered. "Women are weak," and he ran at her with his sword, yelling.

Rin sidestepped and swept the bow up in an arch, hitting his wrist and making the sword clatter to the floor. She turned swiftly and hit him in the back, sending him sprawling though the shoji door, paper and splinters flying. He tried to get to his hands and knees but she stepped, hard, on his back; there was a satisfying crunch and he screamed.

He turned over and screamed, "My legs! I can't feel my legs! You bitch!" He tried to reach her with his hands.

Rin crouched down in front of him, inches away from where his hands tried to throttle her. Blood pounded in her head, her breathing heavy and quick; she felt good. Better than good; she felt great. She had power over this man, the power to make him suffer, the power to kill him. The other men she'd killed tonight, the men who'd smiled at her while the laughed at her, those men she'd killed with efficiency and urgency, to reach this man, this man who had masterminded the plot to take her freedom, and the freedom of the other women. He should die. But first, she would make him pay.

Oh, she would make him pay.

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Sesshomaru was disturbed by the look in Rin's eyes as she passed by him, by the way she'd left and Kirara had returned alone. She was at Yoshimura's house, the man who had tried to kidnap her, and he hadn't liked the look in her eyes. It was clear she could take care of herself; she'd obviously taken care of this man. But still, he didn't like the look in her eyes. There was something wrong.

He should leave her alone, as she wished. But he couldn't let this go, couldn't let the feelings of unease flutter away. Unease wasn't something he was usually graced with; he always knew what he was doing, always knew what his place was in the world. But the look in her eyes….

The woman who had left him standing here wasn't Rin.

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Rin had bound Yoshimura's hands and feet as he had bound hers not to long ago. The woman who'd been in his room had run out shrieking and hadn't returned. The house sounded deserted. Rin smiled, "All the better to eat you with, my dear," she said, mimicking a story Kagome had told the children.

She hadn't really needed to bind his feet; they still weren't moving. He continued to scream at her through the gag, his face red and spit trailing down his chin. Even now he didn't see the error of his ways, didn't think she had any right to do this to him. He sat there, screaming, still thinking he was superior.

Rin produced a knife and he shut up. She smiled and ran the blade down his leg. He began to plead, his eyes wide, shaking his head back and forth. She continued to smile and ran the blade down deeper, a line of blood forming on his leg. He screamed. "Does that hurt?" she said.

He nodded, but she could tell it didn't; he didn't know what pain was yet. She drew another line of blood on his other leg but didn't receive the satisfying response she was looking for, so this time she stabbed down into his thigh, the knife blade going in four inches, and he screamed again. But still, his response wasn't quite right. So she traced the blade along his ribcage, just on the skin and he quieted, his pupils dilated, his breathing short and fast. He started to shake his head and this time tears began to slide down his face.

That was what she was looking for, but it wasn't enough, so she dug into the skin, drawing crisscrossing line across his chest. He screamed and screamed and Rin grew disgusted; here he screamed and all she had done was scratch him.

She laid the knife down and he looked at her, his eyes pleading with her to stop. She removed the gag from his mouth.

"P-Please, have mercy, priestess." Spittle ran down his chin. "I'm sorry; I won't do it again."

No, he wasn't sorry. Not yet. She was going to make him sorry.

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Yoshimura's house was deserted when Sesshomaru, Kohaku, and Kirara arrived. The smell of blood permeated the house. A hoarse cried issued from the depths of the house and they moved swiftly toward it. Sesshomaru was the first to arrive. He stood in the doorway, puzzled and disturbed by the scene in front of him.

Rin sat patiently in the room, carefully cleaning her bow string which she had unstrung from the long bow. She ran the string between the folds of a cloth and when it was cleaned to her satisfaction, she restrung the bow and started on the knife. Kohaku arrived and gasped; Kirara growled.

"Leave us," Sesshomaru said.

The demon slayer and the fire neko retreated.

A dead man lay on the floor, his eyes bulging from its sockets. An angry red line ringed around his neck where someone had squeezed it with a line, probably the string on Rin's bow. And that someone was probably Rin, who sat quietly cleaning her knife, as if nothing had happened. Who was this woman?

"Rin," he said, stepping toward her, his hand outstretched.

She took it and used his weight to help her off the floor. Then she put her knife away and picked up her bow. "Sesshomaru," she said, stepping passed him and walking away again.

He turned and watched. She paused, saying, "Do as you wish," and continued on.

He followed.

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Read and review. Short, but some chapter call for an ending before the usual 6-7 pages.


	8. Chapter 8

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Eight**

Rin traded her priestess robes for something slimmer, more form fitting, and black; she added a short sword to her weapons array. She tied her hair back and formed a tight bun on her head with the heavy locks, one more way to get the upper hand on her opponent. It would be easier if she just cut the hair from her head, but it was one of the things she couldn't part with from her old life. She kept her hair of her own free will; Sesshomaru followed her despite her annoyance.

She hadn't thought when she'd told him to do what he would that he would actually follow her. The encounter she imagined after she'd utter those words went something like this: a wrinkle would crease his brow and then he'd leave. Sesshomaru was not overly emotional; in fact, he appeared to have no emotions what so ever; but Rin knew his face better than anyone, even Jaken; years of watching his expressions had taught her all his facial ticks. She had calculated that he would be displeased by her impertinence and would leave her alone.

But apparently she wasn't the only one who had changed in the last several years. The Sesshomaru she knew before, the one she traveled with for most of her young life, would have left; but this Sesshomaru, the one who had come to see her frequently while they lived apart, this Sesshomaru was a different creature.

During the long months that followed her transformation from priestess to mercenary—for lack of a better word—he watched but never interfered. She crept silently through the night, dispatching those who would prey on women and children, slowly and methodically killing every man who would try to usurp the freedom of women. The fear that accompanied the first kill after her blood had cooled was overwhelming; but she pushed through and now she could kill with cold efficiency and no remorse.

Or so she thought. Sometimes she would wake at night sweating, the screams and pleas of the men she'd killed ringing in her ears. Sesshomaru would be sitting quietly in the shadows, watching her, the furrow in his brow deepening, but never soothing her, as he used to do when she woke from nightmares. This Sesshomaru seemed to be waiting for something. Everyday he grew further and further away from her, and her heart grew harder and harder. One day she knew she would be able to discard him without pain, and she waited for that day with open arms.

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Sesshomaru followed her. She was changing into something he couldn't understand, couldn't fathom. Everyday her power was growing, her mind changing and warping into something he was sure he wouldn't recognize. Where was the girl from the clearing? Where was the woman he was going to welcome into his home again so many months ago?

He didn't understand this transformation. He could understand why she'd chosen to become a priestess; it was her way of protecting herself, defending her heart from him. He had never liked priestesses, especially when the other miko had come back to life; priestesses interfered with the natural balance of things. But really, he should have guessed when he'd gone to the village that day to take her home with him that there would be a possibility she would choose to become a priestess; he had left her in the care of the little miko and old woman, what should he have expected. Certainly she wouldn't give her body to some human male; that he was sure she would never do.

But this, this was different. Rin was never squeamish as a child, never questioned why he killed other demons. After he'd returned from a kill she never shuddered at the sight of him, never flinched when he drew near her. She would smile and laugh, happy he was back; sometimes she would tell him something interesting she'd done while he was gone, but mostly she was quiet and followed him with a smile on her face and a skip in her step.

Was it unusual for a human child not to be disturbed by death? She had died twice and each time she'd come back to him, happy. She'd seen more death than many other humans, had seen more tragedy and sorrow that a girl her age should have, but she had been happy, had always found the brighter side of things.

Was her current behavior an indicator of her maturity into an adult woman? Had her adolescence led her to this path? Was this his fault?

No, humans had free will; it was their gift and curse in this world. Humans were not driven by demonic urges and needs like demons were; whatever had created them had given them the ability to choose. How humans handled free will was what separated them from each other; those who let others be and those who tried to usurp others free will. Demons were driven by urges and cycles; one could always predict the behavior of a demon if they knew enough about it. Except for him; he was never driven by his demonic urges, by the beast that resided in this human-like form he now walked in.

He had freed his will, thanks in part to his parents who were great demons. He never needed to follow the cycle of the moon, never needed to submit to the mating needs others of his species did. He never turned into a beast when he smelled a female in heat; never felt the driving to assert his authority over his lands by slaughtering thousands of demons and humans. He was not a cruel lord. Those who died by his hand openly offended him, or were too stupid to get out of the way.

Whatever was happening to Rin was her choice.

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Rin was woken by a loud screech.

"My Lord! Where have you been my Lord? I have been looking everywhere for you!"

If it had been anyone else Rin would have jumped to her feet and perhaps slaughtered them, but since it was Jaken she rolled over and covered her head with her blanket.

"Stupid girl! What have you been doing-" A loud pop and Jaken screamed, "Sorry, my Lord." He continued to babble incoherently.

Rin sighed. "Master Jaken," she said, sitting up. Her long hair cascaded down in waves from her head and ended in a tangle.

Jaken ignored her. "Why didn't you send for me, my Lord? I was so worried. We looked and looked and looked."

Rin swiveled her head around and saw Ah-Un grazing near by. She jumped up, smiling, and trotted over to the double-headed dragon, softly patting it snout. It nuzzled her, its hot breath refreshing in the cool morning air. "Hello, girl," she said, rubbing her face against its scaly snout.

Sesshomaru ignored Jaken and moved to the dragon, placing a hand on its shoulder. "Ah-Un has missed you; as has Jaken," he said.

Jaken yelled, "My Lord! I have not missed this impertinent girl!"

Rin laughed, lifting her eyes to Sesshomaru's, and then blushed. He was looking at her with such a weird and serious expression. She turned away and said, "I will bathe in the river." She needed something to cool the heat in her veins.

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Jaken had been searching for a long time. When his Lord had left all those months ago it was to save Rin, and when he hadn't returned Jaken had expected the worst, that Rin was dead—no one would be able to kill his Lord. He had let things lie for a while, hoping his Lord would come back in due time, but when he hadn't returned, he'd grown restless and began to look.

He'd come upon their camp in the dark and had sat watching for hours as his Lord sat watching the girl as she slept. Ah-Un had slept as well, never questioning why they weren't in the clearing where their Lord sat patiently watching the girl. When nothing happened and light dawned on the world, he'd burst into the clearing and announced his presence.

His Lord, being such a great demon, didn't acknowledge his presence until he'd announced himself, hadn't even looked his way until he'd cursed the girl; she'd just rolled over and appeared to go back to sleep. Jaken was overwhelming by feelings of wholeness and well-being when he saw her dismiss him. She was still the same girl he'd always known, the one he thought was dead up until now.

Now he sat by the riverside beside his Lord, watching as she cleaned her filthy form. Humans were such dirty, vile creatures; they had to clean themselves frequently or the smell would overwhelm their senses and probably kill them.

He wanted to ask his Lord why He hadn't returned for him, why he had let him think all these months that Rin was dead, that He was in mourning. But he'd never mention it; his Lord didn't deal with such trivialities as the feelings of his loyal vassals.

Jaken burst, "Why didn't you come for me, my Lord? Why didn't you tell me where you were? Why did you let me think the stupid—OW! I'm sorry, my Lord—girl was dead?"

Rin looked up at the commotion and Jaken's dark skin deepened; he hoped the girl hadn't heard the last part. Jaken would never admit how much he valued Rin, not to himself and not to the stupid girl. She returned to her bath.

Tears were falling down his face. Oh, how weak he was! Why couldn't he be stoic like his Lord? Why did he always make such stupid emotional outbursts? Why does his Lord put up with such awful behavior? Why—

A hand touched him softly on the shoulder. Jaken looked up and saw his Lord's perfect hand on his shoulder. Oh, how great Lord Sesshomaru is! He comforts the weak, He comforts me! Jaken burst into noisy tears and turned to his Lord. "OW! Sorry, my Lord."

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It was almost like old times, like before she had left to live in the village. Except she was leading and he was following. Jaken kept up an endless dialogue, something that would have annoyed him if he wasn't amused by continuing hardness of her face; her jaw was clenched so hard he was sure she'd suffer to major pain later. Periodically he could hear the grinding of her teeth and Jaken's shrill voice cut through the quiet.

Ah-Un plodded along by his side, seeking some comfort and attention. Sesshomaru absently ran his fingers through the dragon's mane. "I don't know who she is anymore," he said.

The dragon said nothing.

There was a village in the distance. They would reach it when the sun was at its zenith. And there would be trouble.

Rin was good at what she did, but some still slipped through the cracks. He knew they were planning an ambush today, knew the angry human males were going to try to kill Rin, or enslave her. He'd been careful to not be seen in her presence so they thought she was alone, that she was a lone woman out in the world avenging her fellow sisters or some crap like that. They were, of course, wrong.

He could go before her, go and kill those who plotted to harm her, change the world to suit her beliefs, but she didn't want him to rearrange the world to her liking. She was trying to disgrace herself so much that he would turn away from her, would turn his back on her in disgust. There was nothing she could do that would ever make him turn his back on her; he was a demon. Even in her wildest dreams she couldn't fathom the depth of depravity she would have to sink to in order for him to let her go.

He could never let her go.

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	9. Chapter 9

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Nine**

The only time Rin was alone these days was when she was in the village. Sesshomaru never went with her into a village and always met her on her way out. What he did while he waited she never knew, or asked; talking was not something she was comfortable doing anymore with him. If she talked, she'd forget; and if she forgot, it would hurt when she remembered. So she lived in a dull misery all the time, existing from one village to the next in a dense fog, followed by the one she was trying to lose.

Sesshomaru didn't vary from his tactics today, but Jaken continued on oblivious until they reached the village square. The imp didn't know anything was wrong until they were surrounded by a gang of men with newly sharpened weapons. "Out of the way," Jaken yelled, waving the staff of two heads.

The men looked at one another but didn't move; one small demon wasn't going to deter them.

Rin stood still, her hands twitching. The blood rage was beginning to descend on her, something that came more easily every time she killed a man. Now there were ten, no thirteen, men waiting for her blade to usher them into hell. She drew her bow from over her shoulder and unsheathed her sword; that was reason enough for the men to charge.

She drew her sword back and was surprised when Jaken stepped in front of her, the staff of two-heads trained on the men coming at her from the front. A jet of fire issued from the staff and incinerated four men. Jaken laughed and spun around, aiming at everything and everyone in view. The attacking men watched in mounting horror as the imp charge at them, the staff igniting everything in its path. No one had a chance.

Rin stood in the aftermath, her hands clenched so tightly on her weapons they creaked on the pressure. Jaken was still laughing, unaware of the rage still coursing through her, the blood rage. When he finally turned to her, laughing and hopping from one foot to the other, he found her in a towering rage. She raised her sword and brought it down swiftly, striking the dirt a centimeter from where he stood; she swept his feet from under him with the bow and then wacked him on the head until he passed out. She stepped over her and ran from the village, the rage still boiling in her blood. She needed to hit something; she needed an outlet. She ran into Sesshomaru.

He gripped her by her shoulders, keeping her from running into his sharp armor. She tried to push him away but he only gripped her tighter, drawing blood as his nails sank into her skin; she tried to pull away again but his nails only sank deeper into her flesh. Adrenaline flooded her body as her pain receptors fired and she let the rage descend on her fully.

She fisted his kimono in her hands and pulled him close, bringing her knee up in one swift motion, but he blocked her, shifting slightly so she couldn't hit him in his tender region. So she drew her hands backed and tried to box his ears, but he blocked again, releasing his hold on her. She jumped back and looked at the blood as is seeped into her clothes, black on black. She drew her sword and rushed at him, striking here and there but never hitting him. She had no chance in actually hurting him, but she couldn't stop, not when the rage had descended. He retreated, the sword never in any danger of hitting him.

She stopped. She'd never get him, never hurt him; she wasn't fast enough, she wasn't strong enough; she was human. Disgust roiled through her and she turned the sword on herself.

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Sesshomaru's eyes widened as she plunged the sword toward her belly. He knocked the sword from her hand and attempted to grab her again but his hands closed on nothing. With a speed he hadn't known she possessed she had jumped back and pulled her knife, this time slashing down on her left wrist before he could stop her. He tore the knife from her right hand and covered her left wrist with his large hand, trying to stop the blood from pouring through the deep cut.

As the blood pooled up from under his fingers Rin stopped fighting and looked down at what she had done. She tried to pull away from him, but he gripped her wrist tighter, almost grinding the bones together and growled. She stopped immediately and looked up into his eyes, tears now flowing down her cheeks. "Let me go," she whispered.

What? What was she saying? She'd rather be dead, after all he'd done to keep her alive? He shook his head and tore a long piece from his kimono. He wrapped her wrist quickly and tightly, the white cloth blossoming with red flowers. Where was all this blood coming from? Why wasn't it stopping?

Now she was sobbing, deep cries shaking her body. The blood continued to flow, even with the heavy bandage. Why wasn't it stopping? Why wasn't she healing? He held her wrist tighter, but the blood continued to spill.

Her sobs suddenly stopped and he looked at her face, frightened of what he'd find; but the blood still coursed through the open wound, so her heart was still beating. Her face was drained of all color, her skin porcelain; her dark eyes were gazing at him with the love he knew she possessed, and she was once again the girl he'd watch grow into a woman. The corners of her mouth turned up and she used her right hand to brush her fingers along his jaw-line. She was leaving him, he could see it in her eyes; she was leaving him for somewhere she hoped he wouldn't follow. "Rin," he said.

Now her face lit up with a true smile. "I love you, my Lord," she said.

She closed her eyes and died.

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Read and Review. Short. Not done yet.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: I didn't expect Rin to die in the last chapter. I expected her and Sesshomaru to get together, but that's not how it played out; she chose to kill herself instead. I tried to bring her back to life soon after, but that just wasn't happening. So I published what I had and now we're moving on.

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Ten**

Whatever Rin had done in her past life had certainly come to bite her in the ass in this life. Besides being physically weak she was psychologically plagued with weird dreams and visions. Rarely was there a day when she didn't see Him, either asleep or awake; the day nurse thought she was insane while her adopted parents pitied her.

Who was he, the man asleep under the tree? He didn't look like anyone she'd ever seen, in person or on television. He looked more like an animated character, but everyone knew those weren't real. Were they?

Living in a house with a bunch of people who loved but pitied you could warp one's sense of reality. Rin had thought she was leading a perfectly normal life until her cousins came over one day when she was a child. She was lying in bed listening to her cousin's ceaseless chatter and watching them play with her toys when one of them asked, "What do you do all day?"

The other shushed the one who'd spoken, a small finger lifted to her mouth and shaking her head side-to-side. "Mama said not to say anything."

Rin sat up straighter in her bed. "What do you mean? What to Auntie say?"

That was when Rin learned that most children went to school and played outside and did fun things with other people like carnivals and festivals. That's when Rin learned she was different, perhaps even broken. She'd asked her parents about it and they just looked at her with pity, shaking theirs head side-to-side and patting her softly on the head before leaving her in her room.

The doctors couldn't find anything amiss with her body or her mind; she was just physically too weak to exert herself very long or very far. She was confined to the house not with bars but with her weak limbs and weak heart.

Now she sat at her window watching the rain flow down the pane of glass, wondering what it would be like to walk in the rain. It was probably safe enough for her to walk a little bit in the rain; not very far, just maybe to the corner. Perhaps if she worked at it everyday she'd be able to walk a little farther and then a little bit farther, and then maybe she'd be able to walk without collapsing and she could get the hell out and live a little.

She'd almost made it to the door, was shrugging her coat on, when the nurse caught her. "What are you doing, Rin?" The nurse was an older woman, dressed in a pair of slacks and a blouse; she watched Rin during the day while her parents were at work.

Rin looked between the door and the nurse, feeling like a child; she was twenty years old and still she felt like a child. "I thought I'd go out for a bit."

"In the rain with nothing but a yukata? You know how weak your heart is; you could hurt yourself out there." The nurse helped Rin out of her coat. "Not even a pair of shoes on you feet."

Rin looked down and sure enough, she had no shoes on. Her toes curled into the plush carpet; walking shoeless seemed like the most natural thing to do. Maybe she wasn't ready to go outside yet. The nurse ushered her into the living room and helped her sit down on a long couch in front of the window. "You can watch the rain from here. I'll make you a cup of tea; just relax."

Rin pulled the curtains aside and watched the front gate as people passed. Tall people, short people, people walking with an umbrella and other people running with a newspaper over their heads; so many different people and she knew so little about them. She had no friends, knew so little about the world; what would it be like to be a normal person, someone with a job, someone who could walk in the rain?

A tall man walked by her gate, his head lifted and his nostrils flaring, as if he were trying to sniff something out. He stopped at the front gate, his hat pulled low over his eyes so that all she saw was his still sniffing nose and a thin mouth. A wisp of his hair pulled free in the wind, long and silvery. Rin's breath caught in her throat and she reached out a hand, knocking her fingers on the glass. His head turned sharply in her direction and she drew back, afraid he'd see her, hoping he'd see her.

It was Him, the man in her dream, the one with the purple stripes and crescent moon. He was real, he was alive, and he was in Japan. She jumped up from the couch and ran to the door, her fingers clumsy on the knob. When would she have another opportunity like this? She opened the door and ran out into the yard, her feet splashing in the shallow puddles. But when she reached the front gate, no one was there. She sank to her knees and cried.

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For a moment Sesshomaru thought he'd caught her scent, but if he had it was too faint. The stink of human was every where, obscuring the one scent he was searching for, the one he'd waited for over 500 years to be reborn. If the priestess Kikyo could come back as his brother's wife, then surely Rin would come back too, and surely her soul would call out for him as the little miko's had to the stupid half-breed.

But there was too much in the air, too much stink from the human population. He'd scoured Japan looking for her but nothing; she either wasn't alive yet or was hidden from him, and there would be no reason for her to hide from him, not when she didn't know him yet. He hadn't had the merest hint of where she could be, had never caught her scent on the breeze.

But he was patient. He hadn't waited all these year to find her just to give up now. She was out there, some where.

When she had died so long ago, he'd carried her cooling body to his mother who sat in a throne at the gates of Hell. Like the Tenseiga, the Meidou Stone was unable to revive her again. So, unable to do anything for her body, he cremated her remains and placed them in a special urn. Then he began his search in Heaven and Hell for her soul, but was unable to find her. He'd almost lost Jaken; the imp had grieved for so long that he feared in the end the grief could kill him, but Jaken survived and now waited in Sesshomaru's ancestral home high in the mountains, shrouded from the human population by a barrier.

Over the years Sesshomaru hadn't grown to like humans, but he didn't devour them any longer, or even kill them when they got in his way…most of the time. Some humans still deserved to die; he gave them fair warning, but if they were too stupid to get out of the way then they were fair game. He tried to avoid any human entanglements.

Unfortunately, he failed a bit. He'd taken in a few strays over the years and now had many human servants. They were all sworn to secrecy on pain of death by Jaken, but really, who would ever believe them if they went blabbing to the general population about a demon living on the mountain top? They kept his estates in good shape and lived quietly in their own apartments, growing their own food and buying what they needed with whatever currency he gave them.

Money; it was the great demon of the current times. People lived and died by money; he made money to keep the world away from him, using it as a shield to keep unwanted visitors away and keep his human servants satisfied. He didn't need them but sometimes they made his life a little brighter.

As he entered the gates a small child came running through the rain, her yukata covered in mud. She smiled at him and ran off, leaving a trial of mud splatters on his pant legs. The child's mother, a woman who was a second generation stray, smiled nervously. "Sorry, my Lord." She bowed.

He walked away; the woman sighed and ran after her child, scolding.

Jaken met him at the door. "Welcome home, my Lord."

Sesshomaru hung his coat and hat; these human garments were irritating his skin. He'd like to burn the awful things but knew he needed them if he were to walk among the human population. A different human servant picked up his discarded outer wear and walked briskly away. Sesshomaru handed the mailed he'd picked up at a post office to Jaken; he knew the imp wouldn't read it but would instead pass it on to the human who dealt with such affairs, who would in turn hand it to any other humans who needed to know whatever it was in those letters. Sesshomaru didn't need to know what went on in the background so long as everyone was satisfied. And everyone seemed satisfied. Besides, if anyone did something untoward, he'd sniff it out and squash it; he was a demon, not stupid.

After he'd changed into more suitable clothes for a demon, he sat in his room, watching the rain through the open window. A male human servant entered the room with a tray of tea. Sesshomaru knew all their names, but only identified them by scent; names were of little consequence to him.

The servant knelt on the tatami beside him. "We have had no word of her, my Lord," he said.

Sesshomaru grunted. He didn't expect them to find her, hadn't asked for their help, but they were looking nonetheless. Humans had a curious need to involve themselves in matters not concerned with them. Fear and despair had led them to his door and after he'd allowed them to stay and make a life for themselves, they in turned gave him their loyalty and even fealty. It was a rare thing in this new world to be surrounded by people not looking for the next high. Life at his estate was peaceful and torture.

Where was she?

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The next day Rin was allowed to go for a drive. The nurse bundled her into the car and they drove around aimlessly, Rin directing the driver to turn here and there. Rin hadn't felt like going out today, but couldn't pass up the opportunity to see new things. But she wasn't really seeing anything beyond the window; her mind was still on Him, who hadn't been at the gate when she'd reached it.

She knew everyone on sight who walked by her gate, and he wasn't a regular. She'd sat at the window downstairs after the nurse made her take a steaming bath and waited to see if he'd come the other way, perhaps on his way back to wherever he'd come from. But he hadn't. So she'd waited at the window again until her nurse decided it was time to go out. "You're looking a little peaky; maybe we can stop at a nice shop today."

So here they were, in the car, the nurse chattering away while Rin dreamed. Who was he? What did he do? Why had he stopped at her house? Was he looking for something? Was he looking for her? No, he couldn't be looking for her. He was just a strange man who looked like Him, the man in her dreams. She must have been mistaken. He probably hadn't even looked much like him; she was probably just hallucinating. Maybe he wasn't even real.

Her reverie was broken by a tree. They had just driven by a large tree at the top of a steep set of stairs. "There! I want to go there!" she said.

The driver said, "The Higurashi Shrine?"

Rin nodded.

The nurse looked at her. "Why would you want to go to shrine?"

As the driver turned around she said, "I just do." Really, she wasn't a child; she could do what she wanted, so long as she didn't pass out.

The driver pulled up to a house and helped Rin out of the car. An older woman came out of the house, a white apron tied around her neck and waist. "May I help you?"

The nurse stepped forward. "We're here to see the shrine."

The woman smiled. "Yes, of course, but this is private property; you can't park here."

Rin saw the nurse's mouth disappear as her lips thinned in agitation, so she said, "I'm sorry, it's just," she walked forward, wobbling a bit, "I'm a bit weak and I would have been able to walk up all those stairs."

The woman stepped forward and steadied Rin. "Of course, of course; my son will be coming home soon and he'll need to space to park his car. If you wouldn't mind…"

Rin smiled. "Not at all." She turned to the driver and the nurse, "I'll call you when I need you."

The nurse blanched. "But Rin, I need to be with you. You know how weak your heart is."

Rin patted the woman, who was still holding onto her elbow. "I'm sure this nice lady can help me around the shrine, right?" she said, turning to the woman.

The woman smiled. "Of course; I'd be happy to."

The nurse tried to convince Rin to let her come along, but in the end Rin got her way, and her freedom for a little while. As the car drove down the hill away from the house, Rin stretched out her arms and smiled.

"First time out alone, dear?" the woman said.

Rin nodded. "Hi, I'm Rin."

"Mrs. Higurashi; my family cares for the shrine." They shook hands. A loud crash came from the house. Rin looked at her, worried. "Don't worry; it's just the grandchildren, and probably their father." A shriek. "And my daughter." She began to lead Rin to the shrine. "Come, I'll take you on a tour."

Rin listened as Mrs. Higurashi told stories about the shrine, how it came into existence about 500 years ago, about a demon that was supposedly bound to the sacred tree by a powerful priestess, most likely an ancestor. The shrine had been cared for over the centuries by her family, and her son would one day be its caretaker. Rin listened with interest until they came upon the tree. "Oh," she said, placing a hand over her heart.

"Are you all right, dear?"

No, she wasn't all right. "I just need to sit and rest for awhile."

"Why don't you come inside and I'll make you a cup of tea?"

Rin only had eyes for the sacred tree. "No, I'd like a moment here, alone."

Mrs. Higurashi patted her shoulder. "Of course, dear. Call me when you're ready."

Images of another life flashed before her eyes, images of a tree, not this tree, but a different tree, and a demon sat beneath it, his eyes closed, waiting. She placed her palm on the tree and closed her eyes, letting the images slide into her mind.

A demon, sitting beneath a tree, sleeping; a child peeking out from behind a bush; a growl, the demons amber eyes opened; the child stepping out and smiling, bringing the demon an offering. There were wolves and she was running, running away, trying to reach the demon sitting beneath the tree, because he could save her, he could save her from these horrible wolves.

Rin was jerked out of her vision by a shrill cry coming toward her. Her head snapped around and she saw a child running, still shrieking, followed by a man in red, followed by a woman. The child came running full speed and jumped into Rin's arms, screaming, "Lady Rin, save me!"

Rin turned her body, the child toward the tree and her back to the couple who stood silent and staring. The woman stepped forward. "Rin, how did you, why are you-" Words defeated her.

Rin put the child down. "I don't know, um, who are you?" She looked closer at the man and saw his ears were not normal; they were…dog ears. She reached out her hands, transfixed by his ears. "I just want to touch 'em," she said, and she did, then she fainted.

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	11. Chapter 11

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Eleven**

Rin woke with a cool towel on her forehead and hushed voices in a distant room.

"Really, we can't impose on you; she shouldn't have been out anyway," a voice said, a voice that sounded like her mother's.

"She knows she's not supposed to go anywhere without the nurse," a deep voice replied.

Oh god, her parents were here. She sat up quickly and the room swayed dangerously around her. A hand pushed her back down to a prone position. "Kagome said you should lie down."

The hand moved away, but before it did Rin saw the nails weren't nails; they were too long to be nails; they were more like claws. But men didn't have claws, and men also didn't have furry dog ears, so maybe men with furry dog ears could have claws, since they weren't supposed to have furry dog ears. Would that make him something other than a man?

Rin's mind wandered off and almost drifted back to sleep when she remembered everything. Furry dogs ears, a small child, the tree. She sat up again and almost screamed but was silenced by the clawed hand whose owner had furry dog ears.

A pair of amber eyes looked deeply into her dark ones and she saw someone else, the demon with the purple stripes, the demon that'd had one arm when she'd first met him and then had regenerated his lost arm when he became something more. Her breath hissed out of her, a name tingling at the edge of her conscious, and then it was gone. She saw the man from earlier, the one she'd groped without thought, and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said after he'd released her.

His eyes narrowed. "What for?"

She looked away. "For fondling your ears."

He looked away, a blush creeping up his cheeks. "You're not the only one."

"What are you sorry for?" she said.

He looked at her again, his arms crossed over his chest. "Nothing."

"Then why'd you-"

He stood up and muttered, "Stupid girl," and walked out of the room.

She sat in puzzled silence for a minute before following him. "Rin!" her mother said when she'd entered the dining room. The small woman rushed over and drew her into a bone crunching hug.

Rin pushed her away. "I'm fine, mother."

The woman had clearly been crying, twin streaks of mascara trailing down her face. "I was so worried. When the nurse called and said you'd refused to come home, that you actually wanted to take a walk around a shrine without her help, I almost died. Your father and I have come to take you home; you shouldn't have overexerted yourself."

Mrs. Higurashi was watching the exchange with pursed lips, and her daughter was also worried. The daughter stepped forward and placed her hands on Rin's shoulders. "I was just telling your parents that we would love to have you stay the night, maybe even a bit longer."

Rin turned to the young woman, her eyebrows raised. "Why?"

The young woman smiled. "Clearly you have been sick lately; I think the air up here may help you recover."

Rin wanted to say she'd always been sick, but kept her mouth shut; the situation was moving from weird to bizarre and she wasn't sure what she should do. She should go home and rest, like her parents wanted, but she really wanted to stay and sit by the tree. The tree, she felt, was helping her in a way lots of bed rest hadn't; while she stood by the tree, her hand lightly touching the bark, for a moment she was somewhere else and maybe even someone else.

"I'd like to stay," Rin said.

"Rin," he father said, standing to his full height and looming over her. The weird man with the dog ears moved forward, a hat on his white hair, placing a hand on her father's chest. Her father looked down into the man's eyes and stepped back, a look of fright crossing his features. He swallowed and tried again, in a softer tone, "Rin, come home; we can look after you there."

Rin's father wasn't a bad man; he was over-protective. The luck of the draw had given Rin to him when she was a baby, and Mother Nature had made her sickly soon after. His wife's inability to bare natural children and Rin's inability to heal fully had made him over-compensate for what fate had given him.

This was Rin's one chance to live a little, to experience something other than the four walls of her bedroom. She had everything she could ever want at home but what money couldn't buy was her happiness, and for a moment today, while she stood by the tree, she was happy, even with the disturbing images flooding through her mind. She wanted to experience all she could through the tree. "I'm staying."

Mrs. Higurashi smiled. "I'll go prepare a room; you can stay in Kagome's room."

Rin's mother said, "Then where will your daughter sleep?"

Mrs. Higurashi called back, "Oh, wherever she wants; she comes and goes as she pleases."

The young woman smiled weakly and ushered Rin's parents out the door. Rin stood in the dining room with the weird man, suddenly empty. Now that she had won the small battle, now what?

The man removed his hat. "I hate this thing," he said, throwing it on the table.

"Why wear it?" Rin said.

He looked at the door and said softly, "Because if I don't, she'll make me sit."

Rin watched him walk away, puzzled. Was it hard for him to sit or something?

The young woman returned to the dining room and stuck out her hand. "I'm Kagome."

Rin shook her hand. "Rin."

"Let me take you on a tour," Kagome said, steering her through out the house.

It was an average house, two floors. Kagome's brother, mother, and grandfather lived here full-time; Kagome, her husband, and child came to visit frequently. There was a cat lurking somewhere named Buyo. They soon found said cat in the living room napping on Kagome's husband's lap; he was watching something on television.

"This is Inuyasha," Kagome said.

Inuyasha? What kind of name was Inuyasha? But she said, "Hi." She sat down on the sofa and watched his ears flicker. Kagome sat beside her.

"It doesn't bother you?" Kagome said.

"What?"

Kagome swept her hand toward Inuyasha.

Rin shook her head. "Should it?"

Inuyasha turned to her. "Yeah; it's not every day you see a dog demon."

Rin turned away, seeing another demon for a moment. "You're a demon?"

He snorted. "I ain't an angel, that's for sure."

"Inuyasha!" Kagome said. "Please excuse him; his manners are from a different time." Kagome shot him some evil looks.

Rin stood and walked around the room, looking at various pictures. "Is this your brother?" she said, picking up a picture of a young man in a graduation gown.

Kagome took the picture from her. She smiled. "Yeah, Souta. He worships Inuyasha."

Inuyasha snorted. Kagome put the picture back. "Tell us about you."

Rin sat down again. "Not much to tell."

"There must be something; you didn't just pop into existence," Kagome said.

"Well, I'm very sick, but no one knows why."

Inuyasha said, "You don't look sick."

"Maybe I used the wrong word; I'm very weak; weak musculature and a weak heart."

Kagome patted her on the knee. "I'm sure a bit of fresh air everyday will do wonders for you."

Rin didn't think so; she got plenty of fresh air at home. The air wasn't any different here; air was air wherever it was, but she didn't correct Kagome. She was grateful to be out of the house and so close to the tree.

Which reminded her, "How did you know my name?"

Kagome's eyebrows shot up and she said, "Oh, a, my mother must have mentioned it."

Rin recalled the surprised look on Kagome's face when she saw her. "Right," she replied.

"You might as well tell her, Kagome," Inuyasha said, idly petting the cat.

"Tell me what?"

"Inuyasha, she doesn't need to know," Kagome tried to whisper.

"Tell me what?"

"Whatever she did back then must be why she's like this now, Kagome; karmic backlash."

"Since when were you into metaphysical things?" Kagome said.

"Meta-what?"

"Tell me what?" Rin repeated a third time, this time breaking through their argument.

"Nothing, Rin," Kagome replied. "Don't worry about it."

Rin stood. "If there's something you, something about me, I'd like to know. I think," she paused, "I think I have a right to know, if it's about me. What do you mean by karmic backlash?" She directed the last statement to Inuyasha.

He snorted. "You must have pissed off the powers that be pretty bad if you're in this shape."

"How would you know?" Rin said.

"Because I just-"

"Sit boy!" Kagome said.

Inuyasha yelled and crashed to the floor. "Kagome!"

Kagome grabbed Rin's hand and dragged her outside.

Night had settled over the shrine, the stars shining brightly above. Kagome led her over to the tree and sat with her on a bench, looking at the tree, her eyebrows knit together, as if she were trying to decide what to do.

Rin said, "He reminds me of someone."

"Who?"

Rin picked at her nails. "No one I've ever met; someone in my dreams."

Kagome tilted her head. "What does he look like?"

The corner of Rin's mouth turned up. "How do you know it's a he?"

"Just humor me."

Rin paused. He was her secret, her one treasure in this world that had royally screwed her in the happiness department. Should she share it with this woman? "He's a demon. Amber eyes, purple stripes on his cheeks, a crescent moon above his brows; at first he had one arm but later, as I grew older, he had two."

Kagome was silent for a long time. Rin felt stupid and embarrassed; the one person who seemed genuinely interested in her and she'd just probably written her off as nuts. Good going.

"Sesshomaru," Kagome said.

Rin's heart stopped. That was the name she was searching for, the name that had tickled her brain earlier in the day. "Sesshomaru," she said. Then, "Lord Sesshomaru."

Kagome smiled sadly. "You're not just her reincarnation; you're her."

"Who?"

Kagome took her hands and said, "You're Rin, and I saw you two days ago 500 years ago."

Rin closed her eyes. How did that make any sense? Two days and 500 years ago? She must have misheard. But then Kagome began to speak and not once did Rin stop her as she weaved a tale that started 500 years ago and ended here, today, in this shrine.

"I don't get it," Rin said after Kagome had stopped talking. "If I'm there then why am I here?"

Kagome shrugged. "Kikyo and I share the same soul but not the same mind or body, so we were two different people, raised in different ways. You are Rin; you have her memories and you even have her scent."

"What?"

Kagome blushed. "Inuyasha said you smell the same as Rin 500 years ago. You know, when I first met him, he thought I was Kikyo, but after taking a closer look and sniff, he realized I wasn't Kikyo." Kagome stood up. "But you, you are Rin through and through, and I bet the longer you stay here the more you'll remember." Kagome put her hand on the sacred tree.

Another thought occurred to Rin. "Where is he now?"

Kagome shrugged. "We'd never thought to look for him in this time. I'm not sure if he's even alive."

"He's alive," Rin said softly. "I know it; I think I saw him the other day."

Kagome sat down and took Rin's hands quickly. "You saw him?"

Rin nodded. "But I don't think he saw me. When I finally go outside he was gone."

Kagome sat back, a stunned look on her face. "What would he be doing surrounded by so many people?"

"I think he was looking for something; he was sniffing the air like he was trying to catch a scent; he stopped at my front gate."

Kagome said, "He was looking for you." She paused. "What happens to you 500 years ago that makes him search for you now?"

Rin had no idea.

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	12. Chapter 12

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Twelve**

Sesshomaru spent most of his days searching for the one he had lost. He didn't know exactly how reincarnation worked, but he was sure she'd come back; she had so much to experience, so much life to live. Her short and sad existence 500 years ago couldn't be it.

He walked down the street he'd thought he'd caught her scent on the other day. It was the first time he'd caught anything even resembling her scent and it couldn't be a coincidence; he hoped it wasn't a coincidence.

He really didn't know how humans lived in all this filth. People passed him by, covered in microorganisms and bacteria, smelling like overripe flowers or death. Someone actually bumped into him and he almost killed him, his claws glowing. He swallowed and pushed on; the things he put up with to find her again.

He stopped in front of the house again and inhaled. It was a bright clear day, the rain long gone. A swirl of scents tingled in his nose, most of them unpleasant, but there it was, the scent that made him stop last time he'd walked by, but this time a lot stronger. He traced it to the end of the curb and found nothing beyond; whoever it was had probably gotten into a car. So, since the trail ended there, he walked to the front door and knocked.

A man opened the door and looked up. "Y-yes?" he said.

"I'm here to see Rin," Sesshomaru said.

"May I ask who is calling?"

"No."

The man looked baffled. Obviously that wasn't the right answer, but Sesshomaru wasn't about to drop his name like a mortal. So he stood there, silent.

"The young miss is not in today."

"Where is she?"

The man looked affronted. "I am not at liberty to say."

Sesshomaru flexed his claws; his nerves were beginning to fray. The scent came from this house, had wafted out in a perfumed wave when the servant had opened the door, and there was even a young woman named Rin here; he'd gambled that her name would be Rin now. He was so close; this man was obstructing his way. He was about to grab the man by the throat when someone called from inside the house, "Is that Rin? Is she back from the shrine? She shouldn't have come by herself."

Sesshomaru's mind worked fast. Rin, shrine; the Higurashi Shrine, the place where she'd grown from an adolescent into a woman 500 years ago; he should have kept tabs on the shrine but hadn't even thought about it. Now he moved with a speed he'd hadn't used in a long time, through the streets and up the steps of the Higurashi shrine, and at the foot of the sacred tree, the tree his half-brother had been bound to 500 years ago, he found her sitting there, her head leaning back on the tree, her eyes closed. She was in a deep state of sleep and her eyes moved quickly beneath her eyelids; she was dreaming.

He moved closer to her, watching her face and inhaling her scent in deep slow breaths. This was her; this was Rin; this was his Rin. She was pale, as pale as she'd been in death 500 years ago; her heart beat irregularly in her chest. He took a moment to adjust his sight and saw the demon imps of death circling her form, wrapping chains around her body and her mind. They were still just wisps of smoke, still just keeping her bound, but soon she would die. His Rin would die again.

But now she was alive, and he'd found her. The sunlight filtered down through the leaves of the tree, a speckled pattern of shadows on her pale skin. He stood for several long minutes just watching her, watching her breathe, watching her body as if relaxed beneath the tree.

He was hit in the face with several grains of uncooked rice. "Demon, be gone!" someone yelled.

Rin's eyes snapped open and the world faded away. A smile broke on her face and he moved toward her, helping her stand, feeling her beneath his hands for the first time in 500 years, feeling the blood coursing through her veins and inhaling her aromatic scent again and again. She drew him close, her arms around his neck, tears flowing down her cheeks. "I've been waiting for so long," she said, turning her mouth to his throat, her lips feeling his pulse.

He smiled, a true genuine smile, lifting her face to his and kissing her softly on her brow.

Then he turned to the old man who was still throwing rice at him and yelling. He flexed his claws. "Leave us."

The old man narrowed his eyes. "I am a priest. I will purify you."

"I wouldn't bother, Gramps; he can't be purified." The young miko walked out of an enclosed shrine followed by his brother.

The old man sputtered. "Kagome, I am the keeper of the shrine. Purification power had been passed down in our family-"

Kagome put her hand on the old man's shoulder. "I tried it once; didn't work; grabbed the arrow right out of the air."

The old man gulped.

"Besides, he's Inuyasha's brother."

The old man narrowed his eyes again and grunted. "I guess so; some resemblance."

Sesshomaru flexed his claws again.

"Let him be," Inuyasha said lazily. He peered closely into Sesshomaru's face, invading his personal space. "You don't look too bad, old man."

Sesshomaru gritted his teeth; he hadn't seen his brother in over 400 years. Rin placed her hand on his arm and he relaxed. She peered around his shoulder. "Hi," she said.

Kagome smiled, but Sesshomaru could tell it was strained. "What's wrong?"

Kagome said, "We'd better talk; let's go inside."

Sesshomaru didn't want to go inside, didn't want anything to be wrong, wanted to take Rin home, wanted to heal her body and mind, wanted her to be with him for how ever long he could keep her this time. But he followed everyone into the house, Rin gripping his hand, her heart beating more erratically as each moment passed.

When they were all seated around the table, minus the old man, Kagome began. "We're worried about Rin."

Sesshomaru's eyebrows knit together. "Why?"

Kagome looked at Inuyasha but his brother just looked pensive. "Surely you've noticed."

"Noticed what?" What were they talking about?

Inuyasha snorted. "This," he said, pointing at Rin, "is Rin."

Sesshomaru said nothing.

"As in," Inuyasha continued, "not only is she a reincarnation of Rin, she is Rin, which is wrong."

Sesshomaru said nothing.

"Sesshomaru," Kagome said, "didn't you notice the difference between Kikyo and I?"

Sesshomaru said nothing.

"Of course he didn't; he didn't meet Kikyo when she was alive," Inuyasha said. "Look, there should be a subtle difference in scent between this Rin and Rin 500 years ago, but there isn't. And she shouldn't be able to recall memories from 500 years ago either."

"She should have been a blank slate when she was born," Kagome said.

Sesshomaru said nothing.

Kagome said, "What happened to Rin?"

He glanced at Rin and saw her eyes were only on him; she wanted to know what had happened just as much as the little miko did. How could he tell her that she'd committed suicide? How could he admit that he'd been unable to save her?

Inuyasha said, "Look, Sesshomaru, whatever happened to Rin, whatever she did before, has royally fucked her; she shouldn't be here, shouldn't be in this fucked up body."

The table cracked beneath Sesshomaru's heavy palm.

Inuyasha's hand moved to his sword hilt, but he didn't stop. "We saw Rin a few days ago; she left to lead a life as a traveling shrine maiden three days ago. We saw you three days ago; you were pretty pissed but you still let her go. What happened after she left? Why is she here now?"

Sesshomaru said, "Rin, you should-"

"I need to know," she said, her hand on his arm. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"It wasn't you," he said.

"Then what was it? Why am I here now?"

Her dark eyes stared into his and he saw he'd have to tell her and that he'd lose her again. Again. When she learned the truth she'd turn him away again, and he'd suffer another 500 years looking for her again.

"Please," she said.

He seared her image in his mind before saying, "I killed you."

As he feared, she pulled away from him, her eyes growing wide, her hand covering her mouth. "You, you killed me? Why would you do that?"

She ran from the table and out the door. He got up, intent on following her, explaining to her, but Kagome grabbed his wrist. Her eyes blazed; she slapped him in the face. "How dare you?" She turned to Inuyasha and said, "Go find Rin."

Inuyasha had drawn Tetsaiga from its sheathed and leveled it at Sesshomaru.

"I said, go tend to Rin," Kagome said.

"I should kill you now, you bastard," Inuyasha said.

Kagome snapped, "He didn't kill Rin; now go find Rin."

"What? He just said-"

"Go tend to Rin!" Kagome screamed.

Inuyasha sheathed Tetsaiga, muttering darkly under his breath.

Kagome turned on Sesshomaru. "How dare you say such a thing? Do you know how long she's been looking for you? All her fucking life and now you tell her you're the reason she's living in this hell; what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Sesshomaru lifted his hand to his face and felt the tenderness on his cheek; he'd never been slapped by a human before.

"Tell me what happened!" Kagome said.

"I killed her," he said.

Kagome groaned. "There's no way you killed her, Sesshomaru. I know what she means to you."

"I killed her."

Kagome put a hand on his arm and steered him to a couch. As they sat she breathed deeply for a time and when she was calmer, she said, "Tell me what happened, from the beginning."

He'd never said these words aloud, not even to himself. But Rin needed to know what happened and he hoped in time she would forgive him. So he said to Kagome, "I couldn't give her what she wanted and she killed herself."

Kagome sat for several long minutes, a look of shock on her face. "She killed herself?"

"Slit her right wrist."

"Oh my god."

"I couldn't bring her back. I've spent the last 500 years looking for her soul, and now I've found it and lost it all in the same day."

Kagome said, "It wasn't your fault; you didn't kill her."

"If I have given her what she wanted she wouldn't have killed herself and wouldn't be in this predicament now," he said evenly. He'd never grown to like emotions and rarely used them now; panic was growing in his chest.

Kagome looked at him curious. "Why didn't you give her what she wanted? We all know you're madly in love with her."

"I am not madly in love with her."

Kagome crossed her arms and looked at him.

He insisted, "I'm not madly in love with her." He added quietly after a moment, "I was young and foolish; I didn't know what I had, what I wanted until it was gone."

Kagome said, "What do you want now?"

"I want her; I want to make her happy, to love her as I should have loved her years ago," he said without hesitating.

Waiting for Rin had given him a lot of time over the years to think about what he wanted, who he wanted to spend his time with; he was no longer confused about his feelings for the girl. He loved Rin.

Kagome stood up. "We've got quite a battle ahead of us."

Sesshomaru narrowed his eye. "What are you talking about?"

"We need to stop Rin from committing suicide and we need to stop you from being young and foolish."

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	13. Chapter 13

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Rin sat beneath the sacred tree, her head resting against the trunk, her eyes closed; Inuyasha sat near by but hadn't tried talking to her since she'd first refused him. The memories still came swiftly, flooding her mind with new images, new memories; when she reached the end what would she find? Would she find him killing her with his sword? Would she find herself in pieces? Would she see in his cold distant eyes murder?

She couldn't believe it. How could he, after all they'd been through, kill her in the end? And why did it send her to this purgatory? Had her death at his hands cursed them both? And if he'd murdered her, why had he been looking for her for 500 years? It made no sense.

So she sat beneath the tree and watched her other life pass before her, dreading the outcome. The images weren't just images; the emotions she'd felt at the time accompanied them. It was like she was two people in one body, the one from 500 years ago and the one who lived now. All her life she'd felt like there was something missing, like she'd lost a part of herself, and now it all came flooding back into her mind through the sacred tree.

Her heart broke again as Sesshomaru walked away from her again, leaving her behind in the village, leaving her to the life she'd chosen as a shrine maiden. Then he was there again; would this be when he killed her? Would this be the last moment she'd had with him before he betrayed her? But no, the memories continued on and she saw herself sink into a massive depression, killing so many people, enjoying the feel of their blood on her hands as she slowly and methodically killed so many people for their transgressions. Bile rose in her throat as she watched herself sink deeper and deeper into a murderous rage. Then Jaken appeared and she saw herself knock the imp unconscious, felt the rage again, saw herself attack Sesshomaru. Was this when he killed her? The great dog demon killing and enraged human woman? But no, no….

"No!" Rin doubled over and threw up.

She watched herself die, felt the tears as they slid down her cheeks, saw his eyes as he looked down at her in shock, trying to stop the bleeding. His was the last voice she heard, his was the last face she'd seen; and then she was gone.

Inuyasha crouched near her, watching her intently. "Rin," he called.

Rin wiped her mouth and sat back again, this time her mind only her own; no more images of another life, another time. A peace settled over her and she said, "He lied."

Inuyasha remained silent.

"Sesshomaru," she said, her eyes closed, "he lied. He didn't kill me."

"I doubt the bastard knows how to lie," Inuyasha said.

Rin chuckled, the corner of her mouth upturned. "You're right; he has no need to lie. But his guilt is misplaced."

Inuyasha said, "What happened?"

"I killed myself," Rin said, making a swift motion across her right wrist. She opened her eyes. "He tried so hard to stop the bleeding, but," her head lolled side-to-side, "I was intent on going. I couldn't," tears slid down her cheeks, "I couldn't live with myself anymore." She closed her eyes again. "I killed so many people."

Inuyasha sat near her, his presence comforting as she cried. He said nothing as she cried for all those she'd killed, as she cried for the lost girl who'd had such high hopes, the girl who'd followed her Lord without question. Where had that girl gone?

"Rin," a voice said.

She opened her eyes and saw Sesshomaru standing there uncomfortably in a nicely tailored suit. She extended her arms toward him and he came, lifting her from the ground and holding her closely, cradling her weak body against his strong one. He trembled in her embrace. "It wasn't your fault," she whispered.

"It was," he said. "I should have given you what you wanted."

She shook her head no. "What I did was my fault; I should have chosen a different way."

"What other choice did you have?"

She pulled away slightly. "I should have just loved you no matter what; followed you wherever you went and kept a young girl's hope alive in my heart."

He drew her close again. "There may be hope for us yet."

She laughed softly.

"What?" he said.

"I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me," she replied.

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Kagome listened as Rin told her story; it was extraordinary and sad. When Rin was done Kagome sat for several minutes trying to wrap her mind around the whole situation.

Time travel wasn't something she took seriously, even though she'd been doing it for years now. She'd never thought to think about how her presence back then was affecting the world now. Was there another Inuyasha living in this time? She dismissed the thought immediately; if there was he would have probably made his presence known. If she lived and died in feudal Japan would she eventually be reborn again? Was she her own grandmother?

No, no; she shouldn't think of such things; she should just live her life as she had been and try to help Rin as much as she could. Rin was the one living the paradox; their lives, while similar, were totally different.

"So," Kagome said, "in Feudal Japan Sesshomaru has probably just left you."

Both Sesshomaru and Rin flinched.

Kagome continued, "We have to find a way to make you both see the error of your ways."

Sesshomaru remained stoic but Rin visibly perked. "Do you think that would work?"

"Well…I don't know. Obviously we didn't interfere in your last life; I'm not sure if we can interfere in this one."

"Oh," Rin said, her eyes falling, "I guess if you'd interfered I would have some memory of it."

Kagome nodded. "But that doesn't mean we can't do anything, that we won't do anything."

Rin nodded.

"If we can stop you from, um, yeah," Kagome said, squeamish, "then you will probably cease to exist here."

Sesshomaru's face twitched but he remained silent.

"You'll most likely still be here, Sesshomaru, but Rin won't be Rin anymore." Kagome looked between the two; they seemed to be taking the whole thing pretty well.

Sesshomaru said, "What do we have to do?"

Kagome looked at Inuyasha then said, "I don't think either of you can do a thing; only we can cross through time."

"So I'm to leave Rin's past in your hands?" he said.

"Did you have another idea besides just finding her again? I don't see you coming up with a plan." Inuyasha said.

Sesshomaru gritted his teeth. "I hadn't thought of trying to change the past." He looked at Rin. "I just wanted her back."

Kagome could have cried when she saw the look Sesshomaru gave Rin, but instead she stood and said, "We should go now. The sooner we try to change things, the better." She hugged Rin. "Enjoy the time you have here; no matter what happens here or then, don't lose what you have now."

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Rin stood in the Higurashi living room with Sesshomaru beside her, embarrassed. Kagome and Inuyasha had left already; the rest of the family was strangely absent. This was the first time she'd been alone with Sesshomaru in a long time, and she didn't know how to act. She'd tried to kill herself and he'd felt guilty for 500 years. How could she even try to—

A knock on the front door delayed her walk into awkwardness with Sesshomaru; after she'd opened the door she wished she was inside the living being uncomfortable than standing here with her parents and Sesshomaru.

"Rin!" her mother exclaimed, throwing herself on Rin's shoulders. "We've been so worried; when the nurse said you hadn't come home yet, why, I almost had a coronary."

Rin flushed and pushed her mother away. Now that she had her memories from her old life running in her head, what little relationship she had with the people in her current life paled in comparison; she felt guilty for not really having any feelings for them at all now. "My Lord, um, Sesshomaru, these are my parents," she said flustered.

Her father looked at her like she'd grown another head. "Your Lord?"

Rin closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Sesshomaru closed the door in their faces. He grabbed Rin's hand. "Let's go."

Rin looked back at the door as he tugged her gently through the house, her parents pounding on the door and yelling through the wood. "But—"

He turned to her, his eyes burning into her. "Do you want to spend the rest of your time with them or with me?"

Her mouth dropped open. With him of course, but she felt so guilty for not giving a shit about the people who had raised her as their own.

He placed a finger on her lips. "If what they plan to do works, we won't remember any of this; they won't remember you." He pushed an errant strand of hair behind her ear. "And if it doesn't, I want to spend whatever time we have left together."

And that was how Rin left her old life and entered her new one, hand in hand with her Lord, Sesshomaru.

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Jaken paced back and forth in the entrance hall waiting for his Lord to come back. He hadn't given up hope that He'd find Rin again, but he didn't have much faith that it would happen today. Hope always sprouted the night before, but by the time his Lord was due to return despair reared its ugly head. Now Jaken waited for the despair to descend again.

A commotion at the front gate brought him out of his anticipated despair; a bunch of the mortal women were crying. His Lord, in His infinite wisdom, kept some mortals around to deal with whatever modern conveniences inconvenienced Him but it still annoyed Jaken to be surrounded by so many humans; they were such smelly creatures.

He burst through the door and opened his mouth to yell but stopped. His Lord had returned and with him Rin, not a new modern Rin but the Rin from long ago. A smile lighted her face and she ran toward him laughing. Jaken dropped the staff, tears in his eyes and met her half way.

"Have you missed me, Master Jaken?" she said, her eyes twinkling.

Jaken sputtered. "Insolent girl! Why would I miss you? Where have you been?" A rock impacted his head so fast and hard it knocked him over. "Sorry, my Lord," he said, rubbing the bump on his head.

Rin laughed and everything was right for the imp.

Rin was home.

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	14. Chapter 14

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Sesshomaru waited in his room as Rin bathed and dressed. He was nervous; his hands kept adjusting everything, moving things that were already ideally placed back and forth, always ending up the way they'd been before he'd started fidgeting. He was in his customary robes, the ones she'd last seen him in 500 years ago; he'd never felt the need to change his clothing style as humans so frequently did. Clothing was his replacement for being furless in this form; the clothes he wore in town were only for blending into the crowd.

Rin had been welcomed with lots of celebration by the human inhabitants. If Sesshomaru had been a sentimental creature he probably would have appreciated the gesture; as it was, he didn't care so long as Rin was happy.

And she appeared happy. Her heart beat erratically again as she reacquainted herself with Jaken and Ah-Un, so much so he suggested to take a soothing bath and dress for dinner. He had followed her all the way to her old room which was still in tip-top shape with everything in its place. After she'd died he'd collected all the things she'd had stored in the village and had them brought here. Over the years the clothing and assorted accessories fell apart, but he replaced them with perfect replicas, trying in whatever way he could to keep her presence here in his home.

She'd walked around touching everything. She'd said, "How did you do this?" He hadn't replied, just watched her as she walked around opening and closing drawers and closet doors. He'd left her to her memories and now waited in his room for her.

A soft knock on the door.

"Come," he said.

Rin walked in, her long hair down passed her bottom, her slim waist wrapped in an obi. Her gait was graceful as she walked and her smile was luminous. He helped her sit and watched as she exclaimed over all the dishes the servants had prepared.

"Do you still not eat?" she said as she placed a napkin in her lap.

No, he didn't, but he picked up something and put it in his mouth, swallowing it whole. He grimaced.

She laughed as she had so long ago; he'd waited so long to hear her laugh again. He'd do whatever it took to keep her laughing so long as she lived.

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Rin ate her dinner feeling mildly embarrassed; she hoped her table manners were good because he hadn't stopped looking at her once throughout the meal. After he'd eaten that one thing he'd left the eating to her; the plates were soon a lot less cluttered.

"What do you eat?" she said.

His eyebrows knit together. "My body doesn't need to eat."

"Then how do you remain, um, alive?" God she felt stupid.

"I absorb other demon's power when I kill them."

She swallowed. "That's how you eat?"

"If you want to call that eating, then yes."

She really didn't know anything about him. "Do you have to, um, eat?"

He shook his head. "I can sustain my current form without absorbing any power; but if I want to become more powerful I need to kill more demons."

They sat in silence for awhile, his gaze never leaving her face. "What have you been doing all these years?" she said.

He finally turned his eyes away from her; he stood and walked to the window. "I tried to bring your soul back; I searched Hell and Heaven, asked my mother for the Meidou Stone, but nothing could bring you back."

She stood beside him, leaning on the window ledge. "So you moved on?"

He stood still. "I never moved on."

She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Neither did I."

Rin had locked them in this endless hell when she'd committed suicide so many years ago. He'd suffered for so long and yet here he was, waiting for her, waiting to pick up their lives where they'd left them 500 years ago. She fitted herself against his body; he encircled her with his arms and she listened to his heart beat.

She lifted her face to his and they kissed. His lips were hot; his internal thermostat seemed to run hotter than her own. His hands combed through her hair, touched her lightly on the waist, cupping her bottom firmly. She placed her hands in his kimono shirt and pushed the fabric aside, her hands running along his chest, feeling the beat of his heart on her fingertips. He tugged on the tie of her obi and slowly unwound it from her waist, his lips never leaving her skin as he nuzzled her neck with his canines.

She closed her eyes, tilting her head to the side to give him better access, her hands slowly untying his belt. He untied the ties that kept her yukata closed and she shivered as the cool night air drifted across her exposed flesh; he pushed her robes off and kissed her shoulder.

His belt fluttered to the ground. She captured his mouth again and tugged his kimono shirt off, her hands running along the smooth muscles rippling under his skin. He lifted her suddenly and carried her to the bed, his eyes darkening as he laid her on the bed. He pushed her legs open and lay between them, his knee rubbing against her wet sex as he kissed her torso. She pushed her hips up but he pushed them back down, his hands firm as he continued to kiss her, sucking softly on her nipples. She arched her back, her hands running through his hair, a moan escaping her throat as he teased her.

His teeth scrapped against her pulse and she hissed, pulling him fully on top of her, her mouth searching for his as she rubbed her body against him. His body pressed her into the bed, hard against her suppleness; never had she imagined the pleasure of his weight on her body. She needed him to cover her, needed him to complete her, needed him inside her; she pushed at his waist band with her fingertips.

His tongue lapped at the sweat forming in the hollow of her neck as he pulled away from her. She watched as he undressed, her eyes widening as she saw him fully naked before her for the first time. He had seen her naked but she'd never seen him thus. His form was perfect as he leaned over her again, his muscles flexing as he touched her again, his hands trailing down her body to settle between her legs.

No one had ever touched her there before, in this life or the other. He probed her gently, his fingers growing slick and sliding deeper within. Her hips moved slowly with his fingers, and Rin could feel something building inside her, something heavy and beautiful; her hips bucked once, twice, and she fell over an edge and into bliss. Her body quivered as he removed his fingers.

He leaned his body against her again, her legs shaking as he moved between them. He whispered in her ear, "This may hurt at first, Rin."

She nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck as he entered her slowly. She gasped as he filled her, surprised at how big he was, surprised that she could take him without any pain; when he encountered her barrier, he stopped, kissing her neck, nuzzling the skin, and pulled back again, rubbing himself inside her until she became liquid fire beneath him. Her nails scratched down his back, shallow lines of blood welling from the wounds.

He kissed her, his tongue thrusting inside her mouth as he sheathed himself within. Her back arched as he broke her barrier, pulling him in deeper than he'd intended, making his body shudder as she gyrated beneath him. The pain for Rin was exquisite and she cried out as her body invited him deeper in.

She closed her eyes, her hips moving involuntarily, her breathing harsh as he plunged within her. Sweat dripped down his face onto her chest and he worked his hips with hers, their frenzied motions chaotic in the stillness of the night. Rin never imagined anything could feel so good.

Sesshomaru swelled inside her and he groaned, thrusting hard as he climaxed. Her body arched against him as she climaxed too, her body convulsing under his, her mind wiped clean of all her sorrows.

She lay beneath him in the aftermath, his body light above hers. His breath came harshly in her ear and he trembled, shivering as he came down from his high. He rolled off her and gathered her into his arms, his hands sliding up and down her body, exploring her curves. She sighed and laid her head on his chest, enjoying the heat of him, enjoying the sound of his blood as it rushed through his veins.

She slept.

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Sesshomaru lay still as Rin slept, listening to her heart as it beat irregularly in her chest. He didn't think he had much time with her. When she died the Tenseiga would be able to bring her back, but would it heal her body of its affliction? When the wolves had killed her it had healed all her wounds, bringing her back to the body she had before the attack; would the Tenseiga just bring her back to him only so she could die again soon after?

He gritted his teeth and held Rin tightly. He was unaccustomed to waiting, unaccustomed to relying on others to fix a problem. And to have his half-brother, Inuyasha, be the one to help almost made him gag. But what choice did he have? None.

Inuyasha: the half-breed bastard of his father. Who'd have thought their paths would cross so much? It was mildly surprising he hadn't killed the mutt soon after their father died. Would the Tetsaiga have saved him even then while it lay undiscovered in his eye? Who knows; he didn't care. He was annoyed that he had to leave this in the stupid hands of Inuyasha.

In the 500 years he'd searched for Rin he'd done nothing to increase his power. What would he have accomplished during that time if he hadn't been consumed with his hunt for Rin? Already he'd surpassed his father; he had no rival in his realm. What would his life have been like if he hadn't pushed Rin away? Would he be surrounded by a litter of their children? Would he have grandchildren? Would he see Rin's face in their daughters?

So many regrets, so many stupid decisions; Inuyasha and the little miko we're going to have a difficult time in with his past self.

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	15. Chapter 15

**Cloud Nine **

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Fifteen**

The past….

Sesshomaru was bored. Sesshomaru hadn't been bored in centuries, not since he was still learning from his tutors. He was unaccustomed to being bored and didn't know how to alleviate it. Rin had always been a good distraction, but she didn't want him around anymore. What did it matter what she wanted? She should be happy with any attention he gave her.

But he couldn't bring himself to go to her, not after their last encounter. She wanted to live her life apart from him, so he would respect her decision and stay out of her life, at least as far as she knew; he had his spy's who reported her whereabouts to him every night. She wanted freedom so he'd give it to her; but he'd be damned if anyone laid a hand on her; he would always be her protector.

His nose twitched; his brother was coming. Any encounter with his brother would alleviate this painful boredom, so he waited in his courtyard for the half-breed to arrive.

Inuyasha landed lightly on his feet and said, "Sesshomaru."

"Inuyasha," he replied.

Jaken came from the house screaming, "Insolent half-breed! How dare you sully my Lord's lands! I shall teach you a lesson."

Sesshomaru watched as his vassal was kicked in the head. "What brings you here, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha walked forward. "I have something to say to you."

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes, growing bored again; he had hoped for a fight. He walked away.

Inuyasha pursed him. "Hey, I said I have something to say to you."

"I'm not interested in anything you have to say," he replied, not looking back.

"It's about Rin."

Sesshomaru stopped, his eyes narrowed. What could the half-breed possibly have to say about Rin? His hands cracked as he flexed his claws; he turned around. "Choose your words carefully."

Inuyasha walked forward until they were nose to nose. "You're the one who should be careful."

The tips of his claws glowed green. "What do you have to say about Rin?"

Inuyasha's eyes flickered and then he said, "Rin is in danger."

Sesshomaru's face twitched. "And what does this have to do with me? She has abandoned me; what she does if her business."

Inuyasha scoffed. "Right, like you don't give a damn about the girl."

"My thoughts about Rin are mine alone." He turned away, wishing this conversation over so he could go to Rin. "She made her wishes clear to me the last time I saw her."

"Would that be by the river?" Inuyasha said.

Sesshomaru whipped around and had Inuyasha hanging limply in his grasp, hand on his throat, several feet off the ground. How could he possibly know that? The half-breed wouldn't have been able to track him without his knowledge.

Inuyasha smiled. "I wasn't following you."

Sesshomaru dropped him, irritated that he'd blinked before Inuyasha; Rin had muddled his thoughts lately. "What do you have to say?"

Inuyasha dusted himself off. "Rin's going to become a mass murderer and kill herself in the near future."

Sesshomaru knuckles cracked into Inuyasha's face before the half-breed had even finished the sentence. No one talked about Rin that way; she would never do the things this idiot had just stated.

Inuyasha smiled again and wiped the blood from his mouth. "Hit a nerve?"

"You do not know Rin."

Inuyasha stood again. "No, you don't know her; you're the reason she falls so hard, why she suffers in the future."

"What are you talking about?"

"I've seen her," Inuyasha said, "in the future; seen how weak she was; heard how irregularly her heart beats. She's going to die soon there."

What did it matter to him what happened to her 500 years from now? He turned away. "It matters not what she does so far in the future."

"Expect you'll be dead then, do ya?"

Sesshomaru gritted his teeth. "There is no one alive, immortal or not, who can kill me."

"So, if she were reincarnated, you wouldn't go searching for her?"

Sesshomaru's fist clenched; boredom looked like a good option. "Why would I?"

Inuyasha drew close again and shrugged. "Guilt; she died in your arms."

Sesshomaru back-handed Inuyasha in the face again. "Rin will not die."

Inuyasha got up again, this time not bothering to wipe the blood from his mouth. "You won't be able to save her this time. If you don't do something now, she will die." Inuyasha left.

Sesshomaru stood in the courtyard watching Inuyasha's departure. He should kill him, but he wouldn't. The half-breed had proved he could take care of himself which had earned him some respect. Not to mention the idiot wouldn't have come looking for a fight, not with a wife and child at home. However ridiculous Inuyasha's claims may be, the fact that he interfered in such a way gave Sesshomaru pause. He couldn't imagine Rin killing anyone, let alone many people. Nor could he imagine the smiling child he'd watch grow up kill herself. But Inuyasha had a unique ability to see into the future, and if it was true what he'd seen, then Rin was in some kind of trouble.

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Rin sat by the fire and watched the flames, willing herself into a meditative state. She wanted to escape, just for a little while; the pain was still too great, almost too much for her to handle. Her heart felt as if it was torn from her chest, a gaping hole where her love for her Lord had once resided not a stinking mass of rotting empty flesh. She was beginning to feel the edges of her mind and sanity unravel.

Rin's concentration was broken when Kagome appeared on the other side of the fire. "Rin," she called softly.

"Kagome, what are you doing here?" Rin said, looking up.

Kagome smiled sadly. "Checking up on you."

"I'm hardly a child anymore; you don't need to check up on me," Rin said, shifting her weight.

Kagome just smiled, her eyes sad.

"What is it?" Rin knew there was something wrong; the look in Kagome's eyes was not good, not happy.

Kagome looked at the fire as she said, "You know I'm from the future, Rin."

Rin nodded. Of course she did; one couldn't live in the village in such close proximity to Kagome without noticing something. "Did something happen?" Maybe there was an accident and Kagome was just being a bit overprotective of those under her care.

"Sorta."

Kagome didn't usually speak vaguely; there was something definitely wrong.

"I met you."

Rin stared at her. How was she supposed to react? What was she supposed to say? "What?"

"You were very unhappy."

Rin blinked several times. "What?"

"You were very weak, too."

Rin closed her eyes and pressed her temples with her fingertips. "Kagome, what are you talking about?" There was no way Kagome could have met her 500 years from now; 500 years from now she'd be dead.

"You killed yourself."

Time stopped for a moment as the words sank into Rin's conscious mind. _You killed yourself_. As in, she killed herself in the future? Wouldn't that be her future self's problem? If and when someone was reincarnated they didn't retain the memories from their past lives, did they? How would telling her this now help her future self? "What?"

Kagome frowned. "You will kill yourself."

"So I'm not dead yet?"

Kagome shook her head no.

"Then how do you know I'm going to kill myself? And if you're so sure, why don't you stop me?" Rin was growing a little angry; what was Kagome trying to accomplish?

"I am trying to stop you; that's why I'm here."

Rin rubbed her fingers on her forehead. "What can I do to stop myself in the future from killing myself?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Kagome said.

This was ridiculous. Rin stood up. "I don't think I can help you, Kagome. If I'm going to kill myself in the future, then shouldn't you talk to that me in that time? What good will it do talking to me in this time when it's my future self that's going to kill herself? Does this make any sense?"

"I can't exactly fast forward time and stop you at the moment you try to kill yourself," Kagome replied.

"You said my future self was going to kill herself."

Kagome's frowned for a moment and then her face cleared. "You are going to commit suicide." Kagome stood up and prodded Rin gently in the chest. "As in you, the you now, in this body, in this time."

Rin slapped Kagome's hand away. "No way! I'm not going to kill myself."

"I heard it from your own lips, Rin; you will kill yourself in the near future."

Thoughts raced through her mind. Was it possible? Would she kill herself in the future? How exactly did this future self of her even know what happened in the previous life? What did it even matter? Who cared? "You don't know what you're talking about, Kagome."

Kagome grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. "You will kill yourself and Sesshomaru will plunge into 500 years of grief and guilt for letting you die in his arms, only to have you reincarnated with a weak body so he can watch you die all over again."

Rin shoved Kagome away. "Good for him; maybe then he'll know how much I have suffered."

SMACK! Rin looked at Kagome, a red mark blossoming under the hand on her cheek. Kagome had never hit her before, had never hit anyone before. Kagome stood before her, wind emanating from her form; all of nature seemed to bend away from the priestess as she stood in the clearing, surrounded by a pink light. This Kagome wasn't her friend; this Kagome was the priestess of purification; her presence alone could purify demons if she willed it, like Midoriko, the priestess of the shikon jewel. "You would wish him to suffer 500 years for breaking your heart for only a few months?"

Shame caused Rin took look away from the radiant visage before her. No, she wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially on her Lord. But, gods, it hurt so much. Tears spilled from her eyes as the pain rushed back, the rotten stink of it choking her. Why couldn't he love her? Why had she been born as this lowly creature, an ugly, weak human?

Arms wrapped around her and Rin sank into them, clinging to Kagome's shirt as she cried. She poured all her sorrows onto Kagome's shoulders, willing the pain away as her tears fell from her eyes. Kagome rubbed her back and murmured comforting words, but nothing could take the pain away, not even Kagome's powers of purification.

Rin's love was not something that could be purified.

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	16. Chapter 16

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine**

**Chapter Sixteen**

Modern Day Japan….

Sunlight filtered in through the curtained window as Rin opened her eyes. She lay in bed for awhile listening to the birds chirp beyond the window and watching the room's glow brighten as the sun rose from its resting place. She was alone in the great bed but she wasn't disappointed. Her limbs were heavy with fullness and sore from the night's activities; she smiled and turned to look out the window, her body exposed to the cool air as it wafted into the room.

There was a knock at the door and voice, "My Lady?"

Rin pulled the covers over her naked body and said, "Yes?"

The muffled voice said, "I have your breakfast."

Rin looked around for something to slip into. Her yukata lay in a puddle by the window and would take several minutes to put on properly. A closet was closed opposite the bed; she stood and walked quickly to it, hoping for a robe or some such thing she could wear without making the man wait too long outside the door. The closet contained various copies and variations of the robes her Lord wore all the time; she pulled a kimono shirt from its hanger and draped it over her body, the long tail passed her knees but not impeding her footsteps as her yukata would.

The voice called again, "My Lady?"

She tied the shirt closed and wore a loose belt around her waist, and then opened the door. "Come in," she said, stepping back for the man.

A blush crept up the older man's features as he stumbled in. "You didn't need to open the door for me," he said. He put the tray on the table she had dinner, carefully arranging everything before bowing and stepping away.

Some times in the night someone must have cleaned up the mess; had someone come in while they slept or have Sesshomaru cleared the table himself before leaving her to sleep? It didn't matter. She put a napkin on her lab as she sat down. The man still hadn't moved; he watched her carefully but without malice. How long had this man been in service to her Lord? "Have a seat," she said, indicating the chair her Lord had occupied last night.

The man smiled but remained standing. "How have you liked the accommodations, my Lady?"

She folded her hands on her lap and said, "Very well; you and your colleagues have treated me very well." Rin was unused to this kind of treatment; was she expected to eat with him watching? "How are you this morning?"

"I am fine, my Lady. Are you not hungry?" he said.

Rin's stomach rumbled; she laughed. "Yes, yes I am."

"Then eat," he said, waving his hand at the food. "The cook spent hours figuring out the menu."

Rin looked at the small feast laid out before her on the table: tamagoyaki, fresh fruits, miso, toast, yogurt, and various other dishes, enough to feed several dozen people. Would this be breakfast everyday? "It is a bit much," she said.

"I will tell the cook to make less then, my Lady," the man said.

Rin raised her hands. "No, no, I'm sure the cook was unsure of what I'd want to eat so they made everything in the hopes that I would like something. I will speak to the cook myself about the dishes I like." Rin picked up a spoon and slurped some of the miso.

"I can speak to the cook on your behalf, my Lady," the man said.

"I'm sure you can," she replied, still slurping, "but I'd rather not bother you; I'm sure there's much you need to do without having to intercede with the cook for me as well."

"It is," he said bowing, "my duty to make you and my Lord happy; that it the only job I have."

Rin put her spoon down. "Have a seat," she said, waving at the chair again.

He looked at the door.

"I insist," she said.

He sat at the edge of the seat.

"How long have you lived here?" she asked.

"All my life," he said.

Her eyebrows rose. "Really?"

He nodded. "My family has been in the service of my Lord for several generations. I have known no other life."

500 years ago Sesshomaru had maybe a handful of human servants to keep his estate in good repair; she'd never paid attention to anyone but her Lord, Master Jaken, and Ah-Un; could this man be a descendant from one of those servants? How is it that her Lord employed so many human in these times of prosperity?

"I am a third generation servant to my Lord," he said when she'd said nothing for several minutes.

Then no, he wasn't a descendant from the servants 500 years ago. "How did your grandfather come to be my Lord Sesshomaru's servant?"

The man's eyes glazed over for a moment, then he said, "A fire swept through the village and set aflame everything like matchsticks. My grandfather was one of the few survivors. He wandered for months looking for somewhere to rebuild, but everyone turned him away. One day he sat beneath a tree, hunger eating at the insides of his belly, ready to die, when Lord Sesshomaru came upon him. My grandfather looked up into the face of my Lord and wept; he was sure he had died and was now looking on the face of an angel. My Lord led my grandfather to this estate where my grandmother, already a servant of Lord Sesshomaru, nursed him back to health. Since then my family has stayed and served our Lord in gratitude."

It was a bit difficult for Rin to believe that her Lord had saved another human being out of compassion. When she'd met him so many years ago he'd been experimenting with the emotion compassion; her life was one of his experiments. To think he'd grown in the years since to be able to bring a man close to death back to life again and keep him and his family fed and happy was a stretch for her imagination. Clearly something had changed in her Lord of the last five centuries to make him into a more compassionate if still somewhat distant demon. "Do you have any siblings?"

The man shook his head. "I have a daughter and a son." He withdrew a wallet from his pocket and showed her a pictures of two children sitting on his knee, all three of them grinning.

"They're beautiful," she said, touching the well-worn pictures. The man in the photo was considerably younger than the man who sat before her now. "How old are they?"

He replaced the picture and tucked the wallet back into his pocket. "They are both at the university now."

Sadness tinged his voice. "Were you hoping they would follow in your footsteps?" she said, placing her hand on the man's knee.

The man smiled, his eyes downcast. "They may still yet."

Rin let him be; she nibbled on the fresh fruits and looked out the window, watching the few scattered clouds as they slowly raced across the blue sky. Here in her new home were so many people she'd never met who had known her Lord all their lives; she was a bit jealous. They had all shared in his triumphs and he watched over them carefully, providing them with everything they needed and giving them a safe harbor to sleep in. What made her so special that they would need to submit to her will when she'd been here for less then a day?

"He has been looking for you all of my life," the man said.

Rin nodded, her eyes still on the sky. "I have been looking for him all of my life."

The man took her hand and smiled. "We are so very happy that he has finally found you."

His smile was genuine and Rin felt tears prickle her eyes. She wiped them away with her free hand and said, "Thank you."

"Rin," a voice called from the doorway.

The man pulled away from her and withdrew from the room, leaving her alone with her Lord.

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Sesshomaru nodded slightly as his servant left. He had, of course, heard the whole conversation; he could, if he wanted, eavesdrop on everyone on the estate; he was a dog demon after all. Rin sat at the table, her face flushed, the sun streaming in and warming her pale skin. Her breakfast sat barely touched before her. He sat down and picked up an apple slice, swallowing it whole and grimacing. She laughed.

After she'd begun to eat again, this time with gusto, he said, "Did you sleep well?"

She nodded, trying to smile and chew at the same time without opening her mouth. She coughed as something call when down her windpipe and thumped a few times on her chest. He leaned closer to her as her face grew red and said, "Are you all right?" It had been a long time since he'd watched a human eat.

She gasped for breath and said hoarsely, "Went down the wrong pipe." She gulped some water and sat panting, trying to catch her breath. "I'm all right; I'm all right."

He leaned back in his chair relieved; he hadn't thought she'd been any real danger, but her conditions was such that he worried any little thing may throw her into a weakened state and take her away from him again. She ate slowly, chewing and swallowing carefully. When she was done she leaned back in her chair and watched him.

"What would you like to do today?" he asked.

She surveyed him with her dark eyes for several long minutes; he shifted slightly under her gaze. She said, "Why humans?"

His eyebrows rose and he said, "What?" What was she talking about?

She stood and walked to the window, looking at the children as they ran and played below in the courtyard, their mothers chatting amiably beneath the shade. Sesshomaru stood beside her and watched the children play games he'd seen Rin play when she was a child so many years ago; it was astounding how certain things would be carried on generation after generation and other things completely forgotten within one generation. "Why humans?" she said.

Why indeed. How could he tell her he'd searched for her so long and when he'd been unable to find her he found the next closest thing, others of her species? As he thought of it now it may them all seem like pets, like he was trying to find a new pet to replace the old one, but in the absence of finding the new perfect pet he took in strays to make up for the loneliness. Were they just her replacements until he'd found her? A small female child pointed at them and spoke to her friends who looked up, waved, and giggled. Rin waved back, her thin arms dwarfed by his kimono shirt. What were they thinking down there as they looked up at the new woman among them who wore his shirt as if it were nothing but a normal piece of clothing? Were some of them jealous? Angry?

It didn't matter. "I was trying to find some small part of you in others," he said, taking her hand.

She smiled and wrapped her fingers around his. "Just now the servant told me you saved his grandfather."

He nodded. "If you look at his way, then I did; but I was looking for you." _I was always looking for you; it was always you I sought and I could never turn away those I found instead of you._ "What would you like to do today?"

"Let's go to the university today; I've never been there," she said, taking both his hands in hers.

_The university?_ "All right," he said.

She kissed him lightly on the cheek and left the room. The male servant came in again and began to clear the table.

"Your children are at the university," Sesshomaru said.

The man nodded. "My Lord was very good to provide them with an excellent education."

Sesshomaru wasn't curious enough to ask the man how his children were, but he was astute in the way Rin's mind worked. "They have classes today?"

The man nodded. "They are very studious children." The man took the breakfast from the room.

Sesshomaru changed into a modern day suit. He waited outside of Rin's door and soon she appeared in a bright yukata; he knew she had other clothes in her chamber. "Do you like it?" she said, twirling.

"You are beautiful," he replied. Why a yukata? Wouldn't she stand out?

His question must have shown on his face because she said, "I've always felt more comfortable in yukata's; modern clothes clings too much in too many places." She appraised him. "You are handsome in your suit."

"It itches," he said and then grimaced; why was he telling her that?

She laughed. "Then wear something else."

"I doubt humans would leave me be if I wore my robes," he said.

"Why does that matter?" she said.

Why indeed? Did he care? No, no he didn't, so he changed into his traditional clothing, swords and armor too.

As they walked to the front door the male servant stepped forward with an envelope in his hands. He bowed to Sesshomaru and Rin and said, "If my Lady would be so kind, would she please give this to my children if she sees them?"

Rin took the envelope and patted the man's shoulder. "Of course."

Master Jaken sat in the shadows of the door leaning on the staff of two heads. "My Lord you are going out in your demon form?" he said.

Sesshomaru ignored him and continued on into the courtyard.

"We're going into town today, Master Jaken. Are you coming with us?" Rin said.

Jaken looked at her like she'd grown another head. "My Lord would never want to sully his good name by having someone as ugly as me follow him around in the modern world. The things people would say if they saw a demon imp following such a great 'man'?"

"But my Lord isn't a man," Rin said as Jaken followed. "Why does it matter if you follow him?"

Sesshomaru listened as they bickered as they walked to the waiting limo.

Jaken said, "What would people say if they saw me?"

Rin said, "They'd probably scream and wonder what you are."

"And what would you say?"

Rin paused. "A lizard."

"Perhaps if we had a leash," Sesshomaru said as he opened the door for Rin.

Rin clapped her hands together. "A pet lizard," she said.

Jaken's skin darkened. "Insolent girl—ow!—sorry, my Lord."

Rin leaned out of the car door. "Are you coming, Master Jaken?"

Jaken looked back at the house and at the woman sitting in the limo beckoning him to come; there really was no contest. He got in the car.

Sesshomaru shut the door and walked to the other side, the driver opening the door for him. Jaken's voice and Rin's laugh wafted into the air for a moment as he stood with his hand on the roof top of the car. He would never had imagined 500 years ago that he'd stand here today getting into a car with Rin and an imp, wearing his traditional kimono shirt and hakama with various weapons hanging on his belt, and driving into town for a stroll through the university.

"My Lord?" Rin called, her hand on his waist.

He got in the car and listened as his Lady and the imp bickered all the way into town.

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	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: Thank you to Star Garden for the lovely review; I appreciate it. Thank you, RS; I figured it would be illegal to wear a sword in public but that's half the fun with Sesshomaru. We'll see how the whole thing pans out in the Chapter Eighteen.**

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Seventeen**

Feudal Japan….

Kagome accompanied Rin on her journey away from Sesshomaru; it was the only thing she could think of doing. Rin was as obstinate as Sesshomaru; she wouldn't be the first one to apologize, especially since she wasn't the one in the wrong. She would instead pretend that nothing was amiss and move physically further and further away from the one she loved. Inuyasha would appear periodically to update her on the situation at home and whether Sesshomaru had moved from his estates of not. Kagome knew Sesshomaru had sent someone to follow them, but the scout kept out of sight and Rin didn't mention a thing.

Today they were in a grassy clearing waiting for Inuyasha to appear with Izayoi. Kagome didn't want to risk going back to the village for a visit because Rin might run away. Inuyasha's nose was good, but Kagome didn't want to let Rin out of her sight unless it was necessary.

Rin lay in the grass with a towel over her face. Her moods over the last several days were erratic; one moment she'd be walking calmly with a light step and the next she'd be trampling everything in her path. She hadn't cried since the night Kagome had joined her, and that worried Kagome. It was, she knew from school and experience, perfectly ordinary for someone with a depressed mood to be angry, but she didn't think it was normal for this anger to be all consuming when it appeared. There were many times over the last few days when Kagome had to restrain herself from slapping Rin again.

"Mommy!" someone screamed.

Inuyasha landed in front of her with Izayoi on her back. Kagome scooped up the small child and cuddled her closely to her chest. "Izayoi; Mommy has missed you so much!"

Izayoi clung to her neck for a moment before jumping down and squatting near Rin's head. She lifted the corner of the towel and peered at Rin's bronzing face; hours under the sun had given Rin a tan. "Lady Rin?" she said.

Rin pulled the towel off her face and sat up, sweeping the girl into her lap. "Hello, Izayoi; have you been a good girl?"

Izayoi peered carefully at Rin and nodded. "Have you been a good girl?" she asked.

Rin forced a laugh and said, "I hope so."

Izayoi leaned forward. "You don't look so good. Have you been sick?" She pressed her small hand on Rin's forehead.

Rin leaned down until their foreheads pressed together. "A little," she replied, closing her eyes.

Izayoi looked at her parents then turned back to Rin, her hands on her hips. "Then you should come home and have Mommy take care of you."

Rin lifted Izayoi to her feet. "Maybe in a few days if I'm not any better."

"Promise?" Izayoi said, sticking her hand out with her pinkie extended.

Rin hesitated then hooked her pinkie with Izayoi's. "Promise."

Izayoi skipped back to Kagome. "Mommy, I have so much to tell you…."

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Rin lay back on the grass and placed the towel over her face again as Kagome walked off with Izayoi. "Come to keep watch?" Rin said as Inuyasha settled in the grass near by.

"You're a danger to yourself," he said.

"Actually, I don't think I become a danger to myself until several months from now, from what you've told me," she said.

He snorted. "It's the build up that killed you."

Rin considered this while hiding her face from the sun. Did her mood now indicated that she would in the future try to kill herself? Would this depression continue to drive her further and further away from any happiness she knew until there was nothing but despair, forcing her to choose between continuing on in pain or ending it all and beginning anew? Who's to say life wouldn't be better the next time around, even if she was weak? She'd take a new beginning any day over this endless pit of pain.

It wasn't really for her benefit to continue on existing; it was the threat of throwing Sesshomaru into a pit of despair that made everyone watch her step carefully. Why should her life be dictated by Sesshomaru's perhaps depression? He'd opted out of her life; he had no say over what she could and couldn't do.

"I thought you hated him," she said.

"I don't hate him; I just want to smash his face in," Inuyasha replied.

"Then why are you doing this?" If Inuyasha didn't care whether his brother lived or died, why was he doing this? Why was he trying to intercede in Rin's life to save his brother's future?

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I'm doing this for you?"

Well, no, it hadn't. Rin's world consisted of Sesshomaru and herself. The fact that anyone else cared enough about her happiness had never occurred to her. She knew Kagome cared, but Kagome cared about everyone; she could make friends with almost everyone she came in contact with, or she could purify the hell out of anyone who hated her. Rin's life was consumed by Sesshomaru, every thought dwelling on if he would like this or if he would dislike that; everyone else's feelings weren't considered in the grand scheme of things. So long as no one disliked her enough to make something of it, she didn't particularly care.

She liked people in general but she didn't have a best friend; she was available but always distant. The mistreatment she'd suffered in her childhood had left her with a bitter taste for those of her species, and while in principle she knew not everyone was bad, not everyone was out to hurt others, she still kept her distance from everyone, even those who'd raised her and taught her everything she knew today. Sesshomaru, and to some degree Master Jaken, were the only people she felt at totally at ease with, though now her ease with Sesshomaru was shattered by her physical attraction to him.

"No, it didn't," she said.

He snorted. "There's more to this world that my brother."

Rin was learning that there was more than just Sesshomaru, but Sesshomaru was all she wanted.

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Jaken paced the courtyard, frightening the human servant woman. Why did his Lord put up with these filthy creatures?

It had been days since Rin had left and still his Lord sat in his room, saying nothing (which wasn't unusual) and doing nothing (which was unusual). He had expected his Lord to drag the child back kicking and screaming if necessary, but He hadn't and now they both waited in their respective gloom for the nightly report of a lesser dog demon tracking Rin. He'd requested to go himself and track the child, but His Lord had said no.

"But why, my Lord? Surely you can trust me with this task," he'd said.

His Lord hadn't even looked at him when he said, "You would only give away your position."

Jaken had chaffed at the implication but had let the subject go.

A lesser dog demon entered the courtyard and swiftly entered the estate with Jaken at his heels. Jaken held his breath as he listened. "She is safe. Inuyasha brought the child Izayoi to see her mother; he stayed the night."

Sesshomaru dismissed the demon and turned his gaze to the crescent moon beyond the window. "You're turning blue," he said.

Purple spots floated in Jaken's perception before he realized his Lord was talking to him. He drew in great draughts of air as he stumbled to the window where his Lord sat. He flopped on the ground laying his staff on the floor.

"Do you miss her?" Sesshomaru said.

Jaken was surprised by the question and the subject matter. "Of course not, my Lord; she is an insolent child who should have known better then to go off into the world by herself." He waited for the blow to fall but it didn't. He wasn't stupid enough to ask His Lord for his thoughts on the subject, so he sat on the ground poking at the tatami mats.

"Maybe a little," he said after awhile. "Maybe I miss her a little."

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Sesshomaru listened to the sadness in the imp's voice. Jaken had, over the years, become something of a friend; Sesshomaru never confided in the imp—he didn't confide in anyone—but there was a certain softness in his heart for the demon. Jaken followed him faithfully, grew enraged at the smallest slights directed toward his Lord, and was either too stupid to know when to shut up or too comfortable in His presence to watch his tongue; the qualities were somewhat endearing.

Sesshomaru had thought of nothing else but the information Inuyasha had delivered the other night. The little miko and his idiot brother were taking the situation seriously; Rin hadn't been alone at all since Inuyasha had relayed the information. Even now they guarded her.

He should go and fetch her back; she was his responsibility, his alone. But she'd made her intentions clear when they last met. She couldn't live happily with him unless she was actually with him; whether that meant marriage or just the physical aspects of the union, he wasn't sure. She wanted him to love her.

As a demon he could feel all the messy emotions that humans were caught up in so easily; just because he was superior to them didn't make him unfeeling as some humans believed. Demons had emotions just like all the other creatures on the planet. His just wasn't an emotional person; his emotions lay beneath the surface and rarely showed on his face. He suspected that Rin knew him well enough to detect what he was feeling at any given time; even as a child she'd been very astute at deciphering how he was feeling and how she should react when he was feeling a certain way. Rin had studied his every movement for years.

Sesshomaru wasn't sure if he loved the girl, but he was sure he didn't want to drag her deeper into his world. It was bad enough that she was associated with him; demons would seek her out just because she was his ward. If she became something more her life would be in greater danger; he didn't want to risk her life just to satisfy her adolescent feelings. Not to mention there was a real possibility she would die if she became pregnant with his child.

It seemed better, safer, to continue on as they always had, she his ward and he her protector. He would continue to protect her no matter what she said or wanted; he just wished she'd make his job a bit easier by being here with him instead of there with his brother and the little miko.

Jaken had nodded off on the floor, snoring softly in a slumped position. Rin would have covered him with a blanket; Sesshomaru kicked him.

Jaken jumped up. "What? What? Yes, my Lord?"

"You were snoring," he said, looking out into the night sky again.

"I'm sorry, my Lord." He climbed up onto the window sill and looked out into the darkness, his legs dangling over the edge. "What will you do, my Lord, about the girl?"

He could drag her back kicking and screaming as the imp wanted; or he could go to her and try to persuade her to come back; or he could just sit here and see what happens; or he could move on…no, he couldn't move on. The issue of Rin was such that so long as she was alive he wouldn't be able to move on. Perhaps it would be better if she were dead because they he would be sitting here waiting for her to come back to him.

Gods, when had he become like this? Why was he sitting here waiting for a mortal girl to come home when he could be out developing new powers, killing other demons, expanding his lands? There were so many other things he could be doing but here he sat, staring out the window like some love sick human. A growl rumbled in his chest making Jaken jump.

He was a Daiyokai; he didn't need to sit here and wait to see what fate had in store for him. He made his own destiny, shaped the destiny of those around him. He should be out conquering new territory and patrolling his vast empire; he shouldn't be waiting for the girl to come waltzing through the gate because she'd never come waltzing through the gate. She wasn't the type to change her mind once it was made up without some persuasion. He wasn't the type to persuade anyone to do anything. Surely she didn't expect him to come crawling back into her life and begging for her forgiveness; he had done nothing wrong.

Why did he feel so bad? He'd done nothing wrong to the girl but he felt like he'd betrayed her somehow. Why did his heart feel like it was being torn in two when she looked at him with her sad desperate eyes? Why did the very thought of her leaving him make his blood boil? Why did it upset him that she chose to live a mortal life with mortals instead of a mortal life with an immortal? Why had she rejected him?

Rarely in the long years of his life had he had any such dilemma as this; he'd never let anyone get close enough to engage his emotions. He had battled internally over the existence of Inuyasha, but had decided in the end that Inuyasha wasn't a threat and could be amusing when needed; besides his father wanted the half-breed to live, had died trying to save it and its mother; it only seemed fair to let the weakling continue its merger existence.

But Rin engaged more than just his thought processes; she engaged his emotions. In the years since he'd met her he'd grown emotionally against his will. He hadn't realized it at the time, hadn't realized it until the very last moment when she lay dead in his arms a second time; this girl had awoken a sleeping demon within his chest and now it roared and gnashed its teeth, its blood boiling, its feet ready to take to the sky to be by her side. And the worst part was it wanted to be tamed by Rin.

"M-my Lord?" Jaken said, his voice quavering.

Sesshomaru had bared his teeth, his canines lengthening as he was lost in thought. "I'm going out," he said, snapping his jaws. He jumped out the window and ran through the shadows, trying to outrun the awakening beast in his heart.

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	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note: Thank you for the review, RS; already reading the story you suggested, though I haven't yet read the latest two chapters.**

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Eighteen**

Modern Day Japan….

Security at Tokyo U was easy work. Students rarely got out of hand and when they did weapons weren't typically involved. The Japanese system of law and order was such that suicide was the better alternative to having a police record.

Toshi was expecting to have another uneventful day. He wasn't expecting a very tall man with an outrageously fluffy fur stole to get out of a limo with swords at his belt and armor on his chest. He wasn't expecting a beautiful woman in a yukata to be followed by a large lizard walking upright with a large two-headed staff wearing clothes and, he was pretty sure, talking.

Life sometimes threw you curve balls. Toshi was pretty sure this one curved back and hit him on the head.

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"Excuse me, sir; weapons are not allowed," a security guard said to Sesshomaru, his hand on his breastplate.

Jaken said, "How dare you touch my Lord; you will pay for your insolence."

"Jaken," Sesshomaru said.

The imp subsided, muttering darkly under his breath.

Sesshomaru turned to the guard and opened his mouth, but Rin spoke first.

"Don't you know who this is?" she said sweeping forward.

The guard was staring at Jaken dumbly.

Rin thumped the man on the head. "Are you listening to me?"

The guard looked up at her, his eyes glazed. "Did, did, did it just speak?"

Rin rolled her eyes. "Of course it didn't speak; lizards can't talk."

The guard looked at Jaken. "I could have sworn I heard it speak. Why is it wearing clothes?"

"Forget the lizard," she said, throwing her hands up into the air. She pointed at Sesshomaru. "Don't you know who this is?"

It wasn't possible for Sesshomaru to stand any straighter or look any further down his nose at the guard. The guard trembled but held his ground. "Sir, weapons are not allowed on campus. In fact, I think it's illegal to wear a sword in public."

Rin snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. "As if he'd wear a real weapon out in public; don't you know a cosplayer when you see one?"

A fellow guard walked over to see what the commotion was about. "Sir, weapons aren't allowed on campus."

Rin turned to the new guard. "I was just telling your _friend_ here that the swords aren't real." Sesshomaru was amused at the way Rin could turn the word _friend_ into a negative; she'd never done that before.

The new guard peered closer at the sword and then gasped when his gaze fell on Jaken. He leaned forward and said, "Is that a real lizard?"

Jaken thumped his staff on the ground and stuck his tongue out; both guards jumped back. "I, ah, um, you—" the second guard muttered, descending into gibberish. The first guard pointed at Sesshomaru. "Who's he supposed to be?"

Rin shook her head and clicked her tongue three times. "Where have you two been lately? Don't you know he's Lord Sesshomaru from a _Feudal Fairy Tale_?"

The guards looked at one another and then back at Sesshomaru, both having to crane their necks upward to see his face. "I've never heard—" the second guard began.

Rin rolled her eyes. "Obviously not or we wouldn't be having this discussion." She turned to Sesshomaru and Jaken. "Come, Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken." She walked briskly through the gates leaving the guards to stare after her stupidly.

Sesshomaru followed her, amused. The guards followed soon after and stopped them again. "Really, miss, we'll have to confiscate the swords and call the police."

Rin grew flustered. "Do you know how much it costs to have a replica made of Lord Sesshomaru's swords? Do you know how disturbed this poor man," –she pointed at Sesshomaru—"will become if he's picked up by the police?" She leaned forward and whispered toward the guards. "I mean, he's really not all there in the head; messing with him will only drive him to violence."

The guards looked at one another and then one of them whispered, "Well, if he's not all there in the head, why is he out? Shouldn't he be at home or in a hospital or something?"

Rin turned to Sesshomaru. "Give me a minute alone with the guards, would you?"

Sesshomaru turned his back but continued to listen.

Rin said, "As his doctor I thought it would be a good idea to get him to come out as his alternate persona. Look at how pale he is; he hasn't been out of his house in years; I actually have to go to him for his therapy sessions."

One of the guards said, "He is rather pale."

"The poor man hasn't been in the sun for at least ten years."

"What's wrong with him?" The guards were still nervous but were leaning in close to hear everything Rin said.

She shook her head. "He has a," she paused, "a mental condition. This outing today is part of him treatment. I would appreciate it if you'd just let us pass. Any more distraction may set him off."

The guards continued to look hesitant. "You look young for a doctor?"

Rin preened. "I was a prodigy."

The guards still didn't look convinced.

Rin sighed and waved her hand toward Sesshomaru. "Go on and see if he'll give you the swords."

The guards walked slowly toward Sesshomaru. "Sir, you will have to hand over your weapons."

Sesshomaru glanced at Rin who was smiling broadly. What did she expect him to do? He wasn't about to turn over his swords to these security men; and he wasn't going to call the limo back and leave it in the car. She'd convinced him to wear his traditional clothes and now he was being pressured by these weak little men to abide by societies rules.

He raised his left hand, his knuckles cracking and the tips of his fingers glowing green. The guards stepped back, their hands moving to their belts. Jaken stepped forward and planted his staff on the ground. "Allow me, my Lord," the imp said and then the male head spit fire at the guards.

The guards bolted with Jaken on their tails laughing manically as he chased them through the gates.

Rin walked forward giggling; Sesshomaru followed.

"I have never seen you in this mood," Sesshomaru said.

Rin sniggered. "I should have told you to leave the swords behind."

Sesshomaru wasn't about to admit that he made a mistake in bringing the swords so he said nothing.

"It was pretty funny," Rin said. "Do you think Jaken will burn them to a crisp?"

Sesshomaru didn't think so; the imp was clearly enjoying the chase; it had been a long time since Jaken could show off for his Lord. "No," he said.

Rin linked her arm with Sesshomaru's. "It gives us a little time to be alone," she said as they walked along the mall.

Several security guards ran through the mall towards the gate, paying them no attention. The distraction Jaken was providing effectively shielded them from further security scrutiny, but everyone else stared at the openly; it wasn't everyday you saw a very tall man dressed in feudal clothing with purple stripes and a crescent moon on his face.

Girls giggled as they passed and whispered behind their hands; boys stared open mouthed at the raw masculinity Sesshomaru was projecting. It was gratifying and annoying; Sesshomaru didn't need to preen in front of these humans; their presence annoyed him.

"I've always wanted to go to school," Rin said as she looked at the distant buildings.

"Didn't your parents send you to school?" he said.

She shook her head. "I was home schooled; they felt my condition was too precarious to send me to a regular school."

He hadn't forgotten that she'd lead a different life in this time but he had for a moment thought he'd known all there was to know about her; clearly the experiences of this life were different from her previous life.

"Were you happier this time?" he said.

She paused. "Happier?"

Rin didn't usually need him to repeat or clarify himself; he was a little annoyed. "Was your childhood satisfactory?"

She thought for a few moments. "My childhood wasn't traumatic, but I was happier with you."

Sesshomaru stood a little straighter; she'd been happier with him.

"Where have all the demons gone?" she asked.

"No where," he replied. "They're better had hiding their true form." Demons had evolved somewhat over time; many demons could either adopt human form or become entirely invisible. He pointed at a woman who flinched when she noticed his attention. "A demon," he said.

Rin peered closely. "Hmm, they have gotten pretty good at camouflage." They walked for a few minutes in silence. "So you're not in any great battles nowadays?"

"Not since humans multiplied so rapidly. There's more than enough people for demons to terrorize; they rarely get into land disputes anymore," he said.

"And you sit at the top of the food chain," she said.

Life for him hadn't changed much in the intervening 500 years. He was still the undisputed Lord over his lands and the clear victor in any fight. Foreign demons had come from over seas at one point and tried to take his lands and powers from him, but he'd swatted them away. He'd never left Japan; it was possible there was someone with greater power in a foreign land, but he doubted it, and it didn't matter to him anyway. He didn't go looking for fights.

Rin's breath became labored. "I need to sit down, just for a moment."

Sesshomaru lead her to a nearby bench and sat with her. He should have been paying closer attention; her heartbeat was erratic again and her face had gone paler than usual. They sat in silence, Rin with her eyes closed and her head tilted up, her hair catching in the slight breeze. Sesshomaru watched the sunlit highlights on her hair. He was broken from his reverie by a soft voice calling his name.

He turned to see a young woman and a young man standing in front of him; they were the children of his servant. "My Lord Sesshomaru," the girl said.

Rin opened her eyes and smiled. "Hello," she said, "I'm Rin."

The girl and boy looked at one another and then bowed to the waist. "My Lady Rin; it is good to finally meet you."

Rin blushed. She retrieved the envelope from her bag and handed it to the girl. "Your father wrote you both a letter."

The girl took the note her eyes wide. "How do you know it's for us?"

Rin shrugged. "I believed fate would put you in my path and here you are."

The girl looked at Sesshomaru. "It's from your father," he said.

"He's probably begging us to return home," the boy said.

Rin's smiled darkened as she turned her gaze to the boy. "You're an asshole."

The boy blanched and ground his teeth together. "What would you—" he began, but his sister elbowed him sharply in the ribs.

"Please forgive my brother; he and father haven't been getting along," she said, bowing her head.

"You're father is proud of you both," Rin said.

"You spoke with my father?" the girl said.

Rin nodded. "This morning; he showed me a picture he had of the three of you when you were younger."

The girl blushed. "I told him he should replace that one with a more recent picture."

Rin laughed. "He clearly loves that picture."

Jaken came panting toward them and flopped down on the ground. "Master Jaken," the girl exclaimed, making the imp jump.

"Ah, you," he said, and resumed resting on the ground.

The girl said the Rin, "I have never seen Master Jaken leave the estate."

"Well," Rin said, leaning forward, "he's just come back from scaring the crap out of the guards."

The girl looked at the envelope in her hands. "Did you come all this way just to deliver this?"

Sesshomaru said, "No."

The girl nodded. "I shouldn't have presumed; I just wanted to say hello, my Lord."

Sesshomaru nodded.

"Thank you," she said. The siblings bowed and left the three of them at the bench.

"She seems like a nice girl," Rin said as she sat down again. In the short time she'd been standing she'd lost her breath again; Sesshomaru wanted to take her home.

He grunted. "We should go."

"But it's such a beautiful day," Rin said waving her hand in the air.

Sesshomaru took her hand in his. "You are tired and weak."

"I can handle it; I just need a moment to catch my breath." Rin's breathing grew more labored as she sat on the bench.

Jaken stood and looked closely into Rin's face. "You don't look good," he said. "I will fetch the limo."

"Really," Rin said but Jaken had already retreated.

Sesshomaru lifted her from the bench and carried her carefully to the gates. A couple of singed guards let him pass without any comment. By the time Jaken appeared with the limo Rin had fainted.

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Toshi watched as the odd trio left. His neatly pressed uniform was now singed along the corners and he didn't think he'd ever get the smell of smoke off the fabric.

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	19. Chapter 19

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Nineteen**

Warring States Era….

Rin walked beyond the light of the camp fire.

"Where are you going, Rin?" Kagome said. Izayoi sat sleeping in her lap.

Rin ground her teeth together. "I need a few moments alone." She turned to look at the trio by the fire. "I won't go far." She knew she hadn't a chance to escape from their watchful eyes but she'd be damned if she had to spend every moment in their presence; the happy family grated on her nerves.

She felt so goddamned guilty for being a moody mess, but she just couldn't pretend anymore that she was happy. How was this supposed to help her not kill herself later? The constant watch was driving her crazy; if it didn't let up would it only drive her to exactly what they feared? There had to be some other better way to deal with this then chaining her to their presence. Shouldn't the knowledge of what may happen be enough to change what will happen?

Kagome and Inuyasha were clearly waiting for something to happen. What would convince them that the danger was passed? Most likely nothing short of Sesshomaru falling in love with her and taking her away to be his wife, which was what she wanted more than anything in the world but he wanted nothing to do with her intimately. Would she be cursed for the rest of her life to be followed by the ghost of her past life? Couldn't they just leave her the hell alone and get on with their own happy lives?

Rin picked up a rotted branch and began to break it in her hands. When her moods turned she felt the need to break things, anything; she stomped on plants and tore leaves off trees; she threw rocks and kicked dirt up in the air. Other times all she wanted to do was lie down and cry, but Kagome's presence kept her from breaking down into tears; instead she'd walk woodenly forward, always several paces in front of Kagome just in case some tears did escape.

Rin sat heavily on the ground beneath a tree. The moonlight cascaded through the leaves and illuminated the spot on which she sat. She tilted her face up and studied the shape of the moon. Even nature pissed her off; she'd never be able to look at the moon without thinking about him. Flowers had the same effect. She picked up a rock and threw it, waiting until she heard it thud to the ground before throwing another, and another, and another. The fourth rock didn't make a sound.

"Can't you just leave me alone?" Rin said, closing her eyes and leaning her head back on the tree trunk.

"Is that what you want?" a voice said.

Rin grimaced and opened her eyes; Sesshomaru stepped out of the shadows. "Yes," she whispered.

He advanced toward her. "You want me to leave you alone?"

No, she didn't. She wanted him to devour her, wanted to feel his fangs along her neck, wanted his body pressed up against hers, wanted to be held in his strong arms and hear him whisper that he would never let her go. But that's not what he wanted. "What do you want?" she said.

He stopped before her, his face cast in shadows, blocking the moonlight that had recently caressed her body. "Come home," he said, offering her his hand.

Could it be as easy as this? Could she just take her place by his side and live the rest of her life under his watchful eyes? Could she watch from the sidelines as he took a mate, watch his children grow up? Or would he be alone as long as she lived, waiting for her to die before he took another woman to be his mate? Would she die a virgin, all her dreams unfulfilled?

She turned her face away. "No."

"I could make you," he said, his hand still extended.

Yes he could; he could carry her back kicking and screaming, lock her up on her room and force her to live with him. But he wouldn't. "I would hate you."

She couldn't see his expression. "Only for a little while," he said.

She stood without his assistance, brushing off dead leaves and dirt. "I would never forgive you."

He stepped back and turned his face away now that she could see it clearly. "What use do I have for forgiveness?"

She stepped closer to him and said, "Say that to my face."

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Sesshomaru jerked and looked at her, his eyes wide; she'd never used that tone with him before. He clenched his teeth and willed his eyes not betray him. "What use do I have for forgiveness?"

Whatever she saw made her flinch and step back; a part of his soul withered at the look of despair on her face.

He hadn't meant to find her when he'd left his home tonight; he hadn't meant to track her and then speak to her when he found her. He was responding to her question before he knew what he was doing; there was no going back now.

"If you despise me so much, my Lord, then why don't you leave me alone?" she said, turning away.

He wanted to reach out his hand and touch her shoulder, stop her from turning away; he didn't. "I do not despise you, Rin."

"But you do not love me," she said.

"Are those my only options? To despise or love you?"

She said nothing.

"I am a demon, Rin."

She turned back to him; even the shadows couldn't keep the tears hidden from him. "But you are not unfeeling." She stepped closer. "I don't care that you're a demon; I love you because you're a demon, because you are who you are."

Sesshomaru willed himself to stand his ground. "Rin, you do not know what love is."

"And you do? Who have you loved, Sesshomaru?"

He wanted to smile at the casualness with which she'd just spoken his name; instead he said, "No one."

She jerked her head back and said, "No one? In your long life you have loved no one?"

Discomfort rose in his chest making it hard to breathe. So what if he'd never loved anyone? What did love have to do with anything? He didn't need love to have sex with a female, didn't need love to procreate. Why was she looking at him with pity? He wasn't pitiful; he didn't need these messy emotions to get what he wanted.

She spoke, "I love you, Sesshomaru; and because I love you I cannot be with you."

She was sincere; she really believed she couldn't be with him. Would her love crush him? No. Would it change the way he felt about her? No. If she loved him then why would she leave him?

She must have seen something in his features because she said, "It is too painful."

It was too painful for her to love him. Love, it seemed, was a burden for her. He could see it wasting away her figure, devouring her mind, chaining her soul to endless despair. Why love him if it would cause her this much pain? Wouldn't it be better for her if she didn't love him, if she chose not to love him? "Why?" he said.

Embers of anger ignited in her eyes. "Do you think I have a choice? Do you think I can just tell myself not to love you and make it so?"

Yes, he did think she could choose to not love him, to make it not painful to return to his side.

She smiled bitterly. "I cannot control my emotions like you, my Lord; I cannot make them go away."

She'd reverted back to the title; she was distancing herself again. He was losing her.

He grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and pushed her up against the tree, rubbing his body against hers. He captured her lips and forced his tongue to delve in her mouth, tasting her sweetness. She moaned, pressing herself closer and entangling her fingers in his long silver hair. This was what she wanted; this physical intimacy was what she craved.

His hands ran down her sides and released her kimono shirt from her hakama, touching the skin beneath the rough fabric. She shivered, her head rolling back as she sighed, exposing her neck. He scraped his fangs along the vein that pumped blood through her body, feeling her life force as it rushed below his exploring mouth.

He could do this for her; he could be her lover. He could take away her pain and give her such exquisite pleasure that she'd forget about the pain, forget as her body sang beneath his hands that her love for him was a burden.

His muscles tightened as he imagined himself within her, his hands working feverishly to push her hakama down and feel the wetness between her legs. Her scent invaded his mind and he growled, nipping at the sensitive skin of her neck. She groaned and bucked as his fingers found her secret place, stroking with one then two fingers.

She was tugging at his armor, pulling the straps that released his armor and pushing the heavy mental from his body. She worked the knot of his belt with trembling hands, gnashing her teeth when she'd failed to untie it. He removed the belt and she pushed his hakama down, exposing him to the cool night air and her questing hand. She gasped as she stroked him and then pushed her body against him, pulling him inside her.

The hair rose on his neck and he felt the beast within him stir, warning him to stop. He didn't want this, didn't want to hurt her, didn't want her to think he was using her body. But he couldn't stop and she wasn't relenting; she pushed hard against him and cried out as he broke through her maidenhead. He groaned and gave in, his hands on her thighs as he fucked her. Her eyes were closed, her head leaning back as he drove himself into her, her hands clasped lightly around his neck. Small animal sounds escaped her lips as they climaxed and then her breath hitched as she fell over the edge and came, her vaginal walls squeezing him so tightly that he came almost as soon as she did. He thrust once more and then lay still, leaning against her body as he came down from his high.

He staggered back a few steps and then lay down on the ground, her body stretched out on top of him. She lay with her ear pressed to his chest, both of them still wearing their kimono shirts, her fingers tracing circles on his chest. The night settled around them as they lay listening to one another's heart beats.

Sesshomaru wasn't clear on what had happened. He'd felt a burning need to make her see him, to make himself the center of her world. She was closing herself off to him and he'd done the first thing that came to his mind. What the hell had he been thinking? There was no way they would go back to the way things used to be now. She couldn't return with him and not be his lover; he couldn't un-ring the bell now. He was fairly certain she couldn't conceive this night, but now she was thoroughly his and there was nothing he could do to change that. Demons would seek her out; her life would be in danger.

"I still cannot be with you," she said.

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Rin was grateful for this night, but she still couldn't be with him. In the heat of the moment she'd thrown caution to the wind, but now that her mind was clear again—in fact much clearer than it had been in a long while—she knew she still couldn't be with him. The pain had returned again, though it was dulled by the gift he'd just given her.

His hands were stroking her thighs when she'd spoken; now they lay still. "Rin," he said.

She leaned up on her hands, looking into his beautiful, god-like face. "This doesn't change anything." She could see in his eyes that he did think it changed everything; she stroked his face. "I love you, Sesshomaru; I will always love you. But I can't be your concubine; I can't be number two in your heart."

He was confused. "There is no one else, Rin."

She tried to draw away from him but he captured her wrist. She said, "I do not wish to bring shame upon you, my Lord."

His eyes hardened at her formality. "Rin, you do not—"

She jerked her hand away and stood, pulling her hakama with her and using it as a shield from his eyes. "I am a human; you do not love me, cannot love me."

"I am not ashamed of you," he said sitting up.

"But you admit you do not love me?" She waited with bated breath for his response.

"Rin, I—"

She shook her head and jerked her hakama on; she didn't want to know, didn't want to hear him say he didn't love her, that he couldn't love her. It had been stupid of her to give in tonight, stupid of her to leave the watchful eyes of her keepers. As she ran from him back to Kagome and Inuyasha she knew that this night would only be one more thorn in the rosebush of her love.

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Sesshomaru dressed and returned to his estate. Rin's scent permeated his clothing and body; he didn't want to wash it off. Jaken stared at him in disbelief but said nothing.

He was feeling guilty again. He had used Rin's body, trying to convince her mind that he could give her everything she wanted. He hadn't meant to do it, hadn't meant to force himself on her; they had both thoroughly enjoyed the experience. He would never be able to look at her again without remembering her body pressed up against the tree and his chaotic thrusts into the center of her being. His body hardened at the thought now.

And his blood boiled as he thought about his idiot brother watching over her now as she slept. It would be clear to the bastard what had occurred and it annoyed Sesshomaru that Inuyasha would know this about him. What the hell did it matter what Inuyasha knew? But Sesshomaru couldn't escape the feeling; he lashed out at the table by the window, splintering it into several thousand pieces. Was this what Rin meant by shame, this annoyance toward anyone who knew about his business? Was he actually ashamed of what he'd done, ashamed to have had sex with a frail human female?

The feud between him and Inuyasha flashed through his mind. Rin knew intimately how much he had abhorred Inuyasha, the half-demon with a human mother. Did she think he hated her because she was human? Did she think he thought less of her because she was human?

Did he?

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	20. Chapter 20

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Twenty**

Modern Day Japan….

Rin woke in Sesshomaru's chambers; her vision swam as she tried to sit up, so she lay back down slowly. A man stood by the window side table with his back turned toward her. "Hello," she said.

An elderly man turned toward her, his hair a salt-and-pepper gray. He wore a stethoscope around his neck and a metal ID tag around his wrist. "You're awake. I'm Dr. Kinoshita."

Rin smiled and looked around the room.

"Oh," the doctor said, "the young man has just gone to get you something cool to drink; I told him you'd be coming around soon."

_Young man_, Rin mused. Sesshomaru was older than anyone in the house, most likely older than anyone in Japan; for all she knew he could predate the imperial family.

"Can you sit up?" the doctor said sitting on the edge of the bed.

Rin rose slowly from the bed clothes, hoping her vision wouldn't take a nose dive this time; she was rewarded with a little wobble.

The doctor pressed the stethoscope to her chest and said, "Take deeps breaths." Then he slipped it up her shirt and pressed it against her back. "Breathe normally."

Sesshomaru entered the room and Rin saw his jaw hardened; no doubt he was clenching his teeth as he watched the doctor touching her bare skin with his metal instrument. "Doctor," he said.

The doctor withdrew his hands and patted Rin on her lap. "You gave everyone quite a scare. I suggest if you go out again you try using a wheelchair; it won't tax your body as much." He stood up. "Any prolonged exercise will overtax your lungs, and when you're nothing breathing well your blood isn't getting enough oxygen to run all the systems in your body."

Rin had heard this story all her life; her head was nodding of its own volition. "Thank you, doctor."

Sesshomaru handed her a cold glass of tea. Rin blew on it before she realized what she was doing and then ducked her head hoping no one saw it.

"Well, since I'm already here I might as well make the rounds," the doctor said putting on his hat. "I will send you the bill, my Lord." He shuffled out of the room.

Sesshomaru placed some pillows behind Rin's back for support then sat beside her in bed.

"Family doctor?" she said, sipping her tea. This side of Sesshomaru was new to her; she'd never pictured him as the doting caretaker.

"For the humans, when they need him," he replied.

"How did you find him?"

"The servants do such things," he said indicating he had no idea and didn't care.

"You trusted them to bring an outsider here?" Sesshomaru appeared blasé about the whole thing; it would have caused at least some concern if this were her domain.

"They do what they want," he said.

"Within reason," she said.

He nodded. "Yes, within reason."

"Because god-forbid they throw a big party down there and invite everyone from town," she said.

"Yes," he agreed, "they would never do such a thing."

Rin looked at his serious expression and laughed. Here he was sitting in bed with her talking about his human servants hiring an outside doctor to treat them and he didn't care one wit; it just didn't bother him that he could be exposed one day; that the human population could rise up against him and destroy everything he'd built.

"The police are searching for you," he said.

The glass of tea slipped from her fingers and spilled over her lap and the bedclothes. "What? Why?"

Sesshomaru took the empty glass and set in a table, then picked her up and placed her in a chair by the window. "Apparently your parents think you've been kidnapped."

The implications of this ran through Rin's head. They had seen Sesshomaru; was there a sketch of him floating around the human population? Would someone be able to trace him here? If his life was turned upside-down would he blame her? If they did trace him here it would be all her fault. "But, why—" She didn't know what to say? What did you say in a situation like this?

"Don't over exert yourself," he said as a servant came in a removed the bedclothes. "There's nothing to worry about."

"But what if they come here? What if I bring the police here?" she said.

His face was unconcerned. "Why would they come here? Who even knows you're here?"

"They saw you; people would be looking for you; you're kinda hard to miss," she said.

"If I were human I'd be flattered; but no one knows I'm here," he said. The servants were dressing the bed with new bedclothes. When they were finished her picked her up again and placed her back in the bed.

When the servants left, she said, "They know you're here."

Sesshomaru dismissed her comment. "The servants would never give away our location; it would mean the end of their lives."

Rin knew he wouldn't kill them; but yes, the police coming here would end their lives here on the estate, because public scrutiny would drive Sesshomaru underground, leaving the humans under his care to fend for themselves.

"There is a barrier surrounding the estate," he continued, "no one can see it."

How had he managed that? Could he always produce a barrier of such massive proportion? "The doctor can see through it," she said.

Sesshomaru pursed his lips. "I let him through."

Rin thought for a moment. "So only those who you've let come and go can see through the barrier?" she said.

He nodded. "No one would give away this location; they would have to be very stupid to do so."

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Sesshomaru really wasn't worried about the police; even if they tracked them here, what could they do? Nothing; he was too powerful for human concerns to touch him.

He was worried about Rin. Her body was deteriorating at a rapid rate; soon she would be unable to get out of bed at all. It was frustrating; he had all this power and there was nothing he could do to help her, except wait for her to die and bring her back. But she'd only die again and then he'd really be stuck; he'd lose her all over again.

Would he spend another 500 years searching for her again? Would she be different next time, maybe healthy, full of life? Would she not remember him next time? Would he have to court her again and face the possibility of rejection?

Why was he even thinking these thoughts? If she were to come back again, did he think he'd even be able to stop himself from looking for her, from trying to make her his again? No, he wouldn't; so long as there was a possibility she was out there he would look for her.

Star-crossed lovers; who would have thought a demon would be bound to a frail human being for the eternity of his life.

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The police were having no luck with the case. Some guards from Tokyo U had come down and given a statement, but they were able to say more than, "She looked sick and I don't know where they went afterward." Why would the kidnapper take her to a public place? Why would he let her speak to the security guards? If she were in distress, wouldn't she have tried to escape?

Things weren't adding up. The parents were adamant that she'd been kidnapped; why would she go willing with a man whom she'd never met before? But the behavior the security guards witnessed was contradictory to the parent's statements. Rin appeared to be in cahoots with the supposed kidnapper; the guards said she appeared happy, was laughing and having a good time. The facts that she had collapsed and the kidnapper had whisked her away promptly only made the situation more complicated.

The chief detective sat in his office filling out paperwork about the case. He shared an office with several dozen detectives, shared his desk with six others. A colleague knocked on his door and said, "Someone here to see you."

He grunted and walked out into the outer offices. A man, really just a boy, stood waiting for him. He'd never seen the boy before. "May I help you?" he said.

The boy's eyes darted left and right. "I have some information for you."

"Concerning what?" the detective said. God help him, he wasn't really interested in anything right now; this boy had better have something good or he was going to kick the living shit out of him for disrupting his paperwork.

"Rin," he said.

It took a moment for the name to sink into to through the many layers of apathy. "The missing girl?"

The boy nodded. "I know where she is."

The detective blinked several times. "Come this way to an interrogation room," he said. "Tell me everything you know."

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Read and Review. Thanks.

It's short. I have a difficult time being fully interested in the modern day episodes; but I must persist. I had no idea where the story was going until I started writing this chapter. I kinda just let the situation unfold as it does; its always a surprise to me how things end up.


	21. Chapter 21

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

Warring States Era….

"You can go back to your life in the village," Rin said the following morning.

Kagome was following her around like a mother hen, questioning her sudden change of attitude. Rin woke refreshed and ready to take the world on; the despair she'd labored under was gone.

As she packed her things, Kagome said, "What happened?"

Inuyasha appeared; he'd taken Izayoi home. "Sesshomaru happened," he said.

Kagome cast a glance as her husband. "What are you talking about?"

Inuyasha sniffed the air. "They mated last night."

Kagome's mouth opened in shock; Rin blushed. "Rin!"

Rin shouldered her pack. "I'm an adult; I can do what I like." She walked away.

Kagome followed. "I know you're an adult, but do you think it wise? Sex can…complicate things."

Yeah, complicate; she'd felt pretty complicated last night, but this morning she was happy, happy to have shared something so intimate with Sesshomaru, happy that she would have this memory to sustain her through the rest of her life. Nothing was standing in her way anymore; the despair was replaced with contentment. She was a very lucky woman.

"I'm not going to kill myself," Rin said as she walked toward the beaten path.

Kagome touched her shoulder; Rin turned to face her. "How do you know?"

Rin shrugged. "I just do."

Inuyasha was several paces behind Kagome, his eyes narrowed. "I can't believe my brother left you behind."

Rin turned away. "I asked him to leave me alone."

"And he said yes?" Kagome said, following.

"He didn't say no," Rin replied. The fact that he hadn't forcibly dragged her back with him was enough to suggest that he would let her be.

"Rin," Kagome said, "you can't be sure that what you feel now will last."

Right, she couldn't be sure she'd be this happy for at least a little while, but she was sure the despair wouldn't be as bad when it came back. How she knew this she'd never be able to explain; something about last night had changed her inner dialogue. "Do what you must, Kagome, but I doubt I'll be as bad as you think."

So they followed her for several days and Rin's mood didn't change. She wasn't skipping and picking flowers as she had when she was younger, but she was no longer trampling plant life and chucking rocks. Slowly Kagome relaxed her guard and Rin waited for her to say she was finally going home. Rin valued her friendship with Kagome, but she wanted to be on her own, truly on her own, without someone chaperoning her.

Finally the day came when Kagome said she'd go home. She placed a hand on Rin's shoulder and said, "I'm still worried about you; I'm going to trust you to keep on going. If you ever need anything come and see me."

And then Rin was alone.

She was free.

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Inuyasha was becoming a pest; he was once again on the estate, pestering him about the girl. "She's still not out of the woods yet," the half-breed said.

"You yourself said she was happy; let her be," Sesshomaru said.

Inuyasha scoffed. "Kagome may think its okay for the runt to be alone, but I'm still—" he snapped his mouth shut.

Sesshomaru was amused. "You're still what?" It was funny what the half-breed considered weakness; to the miko he would have said "worried," but to his older brother he wouldn't admit it. Could it be the Inuyasha cared what he thought? "You're tough guy act is slipping, Inuyasha."

He snorted. "It's not an act." His hand covered the Tetsusaiga's hilt. "I can take you."

Sesshomaru clenched his teeth, his claws growing green. "Do not start a fight you don't intend to finish."

Inuyasha pulled the sword from its scabbard; it transformed into a fang. "Just say the word and I'll cut your heart out."

Sesshomaru lashed out with his poison claws but the moment it would have impacted Inuyasha, the half-breed fell to the ground. "Sit boy!" Sesshomaru turned to the new intruders: Kagome and Kouga.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled. "What are you doing here?" he directed at Kouga.

Kouga crossed his arms over his chest and smiled smugly. "Giving Kagome a lift."

"What?" he said, getting up and pointing the fang at Kouga. "You dare touch my woman?"

"Sit boy!" Kagome said walking briskly toward Inuyasha and Sesshomaru.

Kouga smirked; Inuyasha growled.

"I have been looking everywhere for you; what are you doing here?" She stood over Inuyasha with her hands on her hips.

Sesshomaru clicked his claws together and put his hands down.

Inuyasha stood up. "I have business with him."

Kagome clenched her fists. "So you just disappear without telling me?"

Panic clouded Inuyasha's eyes. The corners of Sesshomaru's lips turned up; this looked amusing.

Kagome turned to Sesshomaru and the great demon stepped back involuntarily. "And you; what are you doing?"

"How dare you speak to my Lord that way?" Jaken said running forward.

Kagome kicked him and continued, "Rin's out there alone." She pointed to the world beyond his gates. "Shouldn't you be out there to protect her?"

Sesshomaru clenched his teeth and stepped forward, looming in front of the small woman. "I know perfectly well where Rin is," he said. The miko could be bothersome; it irked him that she could raise his hackles up quicker and more thoroughly than the half-breed bastard.

She crossed her arms and snorted, something she had picked up from Inuyasha. "You let some other demon protect her while you sit up here brooding?"

He wasn't brooding; he didn't brood. "He is in my employ," he replied.

She turned away. "I guess she's not as important to you as I thought."

He grabbed Kagome's shoulder, his claws ripping into the vulnerable skin; Inuyasha drew the Tetsusaiga and Kouga growled, but Sesshomaru paid them no mind. "It is none of your concern how important Rin is to me."

Kagome stepped forward. "Really? So is she important or is she just some kind of play thing? When you took her virginity,"—Sesshomaru winced—"did she cease to be important to you? Were you watching over her all these years just so you could deflower her?"

Anger bled his eyes red. She needed to stop, need to be stopped; she couldn't say these things about Rin; she didn't know him; didn't know how he felt; didn't know that Rin was the most important person in his life; didn't know…. He lowered his hand.

This woman was dangerous; she didn't have the power to purify him but she could provoke him. He would have snuffed her life out if he hadn't taken control of himself. What was it about her that made him so angry, so irritated? She forced herself into his life and demanded that he change his way of thinking to suit her needs. How dare she speak to him thus? How dare she interfere in his life? He should kill her now, kill all of them now; their insolence was grating on his nerves.

He turned away. "Leave," he said.

Kagome grabbed his shoulder and he turned, surprised she would lay a hand on him. "What will it take to make you see her?"

What was she talking about? He could see her any time he wanted; he knew where she was always. "I can see her when I want."

"That's not what I mean," Kagome said, keeping a hold of him. "What will it take to make you really see her, see the woman who fell in love with you, see the woman who has forsaken all others in the hope that you will one day love her?"

What was she talking about? He knew all this, knew what choices Rin had made, knew why she'd chosen the way she did. Why must the miko insert herself into his business? Couldn't she leave well enough alone? Whatever happened between him and Rin was between him and Rin; it was not the concern of anyone else. He was growing tired of everyone butting into his life.

"I can see," Kagome said, releasing him, "that you still don't get it."

He wanted to say, _Get what?_, but kept him mouth closed.

She shook her head. "I hope that what's happened so far is enough to change what happens in the future, Sesshomaru; but it still may be too little too late."

She could find out now if it was enough, could determine by going to the future if their efforts were enough; but he wouldn't ask her to do that. He asked nothing of no one; he was a Daiyokai.

They left him.

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A man ran down the road toward Rin, blood running in rivulets down his legs. "Priestess! Priestess! Please help!" He collapsed before her and Rin felt quickly for his pulse; it was weak.

He was too heavy for her to carry so she dragged him to the side of the road, settling him comfortably in the shade. Then she ran, her bow slung over her shoulder, as fast as she could down the road. A village sat in the distance, screams wafting up like a fresh breeze. In the village square a large spider demon lunged at the men encircling it. It caught a man in the chest, pressing down but not yet drawing blood. Rin shot an arrow and knocked the leg off the spider. The man looked up at her, fear and gratitude in his eyes.

Rin shot another arrow and shattered another leg. The spider reared and tried to find its new attacker; the men stepped back as Rin shot another arrow, taking another leg. The spider spotted her and skittered across the dirt on its remaining five legs. Rin shot another arrow, shattering another leg; the spider, now with only half its normal complement of legs, began to roll, a tangle of legs and a small body moving quickly in her direction. Rin unloosed arrow after arrow but it was to no avail; it was still coming.

She dived and rolled onto her feet as the spider zoomed passed. It stopped and turned on her again more quickly then she could have imagined. She drew her dagger and threw it into the spiders head, between several of the eyes. It screamed but kept on coming. She brought her hands together and chanted a protection sutra; the spider bounced off her barrier and she drew another arrow, releasing it into the belly of the demon. It screamed again but kept on coming.

She used an arrow as a knife, stabbing it into one of its eyes. All its eyes closed and two of its remaining legs tried to dislodge the arrow. Rin yanked the dagger out of its head and then plunged it down on top of the spiders head, ramming it into the spider's brain and using enough force to push the spider down to the ground. She stepped around its fangs, her ankles on either side of its neck, and twisted her lower body, breaking the spider's neck. It lay twitching, its dying scream echoing in the village.

She retrieved her dagger and the arrow protruding out of its eye. The men fell away from her as she walked toward them. "There is a man down the road, lying in the shadows; he may still be alive."

The men looked at her and then looked quickly away, their faces coloring red. Several of them moved in the direction she'd pointed.

"I will need an axe and some clean water," she said, wiping her bloodied hands on her red hakama. Women scattered to do her bidding.

Something roared and Rin turned, an arrow nocked on her bow. Kirara, a fire neko, landed in the center of the village, a man astride her. Women screamed and men took cover. Rin slowly released her arrow, careful not to shoot the fire cat and demon slayer. "Kohaku," she said.

Kohaku removed his mask and stared at the spider corpse. He looked at Rin and said, "Priestess, you know me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Has my appearance changed that much over the years that you wouldn't recognize me?"

He walked closer, his eyes narrowed. "Rin?"

She nodded. "I would appreciate it if you would help me dispose of this body properly," she said, pointing at the desiccating spider.

Kohaku looked twice at the dead spider, then moved toward it with his tool; he hacked it to pieces. The men returned with the injured man. Rin felt his pulse. "He's still alive," she said and directed the men to take him into a hut and told the women to boil water and collect clean bandages.

Blood was oozing out a cut in his leg. The man was still awake and moaning; he screamed and fainted when she used alcohol to flush the wound. "Someone get me a needle and thread," she said, peering into the deep laceration.

A shaking hand handed her a needle and thread. "Hold him down," she said and immediately large hands pushed down on the man's limbs. The man twitched the first time the needle bit into his flesh, then lay still, still unconscious.

Rin worked quickly to sew the wound shut, wrapping it in a snug bandage to slow the bleeding. The rest of his wounds were minor; she cleaned them with alcohol and hot water and carefully bandaged them. She cleaned off the dried and drying blood, cutting his clothes from his body, then covered him in a clean blanket. A woman and a small child were waiting for her when she exited the hut. She smiled sadly. "I have done all I can; I will wait with him through the night until he regains consciousness." She stepped aside. "You can see him now." The woman and child hurried into the hut.

Rin sighed and rolled her neck. Another village woman appeared and beckoned her to follow; a hot bath in the bath house was waiting for her, and she sank gratefully into the soothing water, washing another man's blood from her flesh. She sat in the water for awhile, her eyes closed; a few times she heard someone stoke the fire beneath the tub. She was almost dozing when someone came to get her for supper.

Before retiring to supper she stopped at the hut and found the woman and child curled up to the man whose chest was moving up and down rhythmically. He opened his eyes and glanced down at his wife and child. His eyes fell on Rin. "I'm alive, Priestess," he said, his eyes watering.

She smiled. "Yes, now rest and do not wake your wife and child; they have been most worried and will be happy that you are alive."

The man pulled the woman and child closer to him and fell asleep moments after he closed his eyes.

Rin sat at her supper, Kohaku across from her. "Thank you," she said, sipping her miso.

He picked up his chopsticks and said, "Will he live?"

Rin nodded.

For a few minutes they ate in silence, then Kohaku said, "I did not expect to find you here, Rin."

_Where had he expected to find me?_ she mused. "I have been traveling for awhile now," she said.

"Alone," he said.

"Kagome was with me for a bit," she said.

After a moment he said, "And Lord Sesshomaru?"

It always came back to him. "He was with me for a day or so; he has returned to his estate."

Kirara mewed outside the door and Rin let her in. The fire neko nuzzled Rin and lay curled by her side. "You look well," she said.

He nodded. "We have been very busy."

Rin sipped her tea. "Sango has missed you greatly."

Kohaku stuffed his mouth with food and said nothing.

"Is there a problem?" she said.

Kohaku reddened but continued to stuff his face.

"She taught me how to fight," Rin continued.

Kohaku choked on his food.

"Something wrong?" Rin said, still sipping her tea.

"No," he choked out, "just ate too fast."

She nodded and watched him regain his composure.

He said, "I've been meaning to see Sango for awhile."

"Then you should go," Rin said. "I will wait here until you return."

Kohaku peered at her curiously. "What?"

Rin placed her chopsticks across her bowl and said, "We will be traveling together for a little while," she said.

A corner of his mouth turned up. "Will we now?"

She nodded, standing. "You can ask Kagome when you see her what's going on; I am going to retire now." She bowed and left him still clutching his chopsticks and looking bewildered.

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Sesshomaru walked along the corridor to Rin's room, following her intoxicating scent to her door. He'd just seen Kohaku in the forest. Her heart beat a regular tempo with the room. "Come," she said.

He slid back the door and saw her seated in the darkness, waiting for him. He entered and closed the shoji door behind him.

She sat across from him, her long hair down and her robes draped over her body. For several long moments they stared at each other, then Rin stood, shedding her robes and pressing her naked body against him. She pulled him down to the futon, her hair fanned out on her pillow.

"Rin," he said, watching her face in the darkness.

She closed her eyes and murmured, "Again."

His brow furrowed. Did she want to have sex with him again? Was that what she wanted again? "Rin," he said.

She sighed, and turned her head to the side, exposing her neck. He leaned down and inhaled, his nose running along her neck. He pressed his lips to her pulse.

He hadn't come here for this; he'd come here to make sure she was okay. The information his spy returned with was disturbing, and he'd had to see with his own eyes that she was alive and whole. He should be the one watching over her.

He pulled back until they were no longer touching. She lay on the futon, her eyes asking him why he'd stopped. "I didn't come here for this," he said.

She sat up. "I know."

And yet this is what she wanted. Should it disturb him that she knew he'd come to check up on her, to make sure she was okay, and despite his inability to provide her with what she wanted most in the world, she still wanted him in her bed? Human females tended toward committed monogamy; she offered her body with no attachments.

"Rin, we shouldn't-"

She stood and pressed her fingers to his lips. "Give me what you can, that's all I ask."

He could give her the world if she asked, but she wanted him, his body. She was asking him for this moment, to let himself go and enjoy her body, share in the pleasure they could create with one another. In his heart he'd wished that he'd spend another night with her, within her, but his mind had been in chaos, everything he knew to be true battling with his instinct.

She brushed her fingers along his stripes. "I'm giving you my body tonight, Sesshomaru,"—he shivered when she pronounced his name—"with no strings attached."

She undressed him slowly, running her hands all over his body. Her skin was still stained by another mans blood; he wanted to run his tongue along her body and take away the unpleasant odor, but he stayed still. When he was fully undressed she pulled him down to the futon again, this time his back pressed to the floor. Her hands stroked the stripes on his hips; he closed his eyes and tilted his head back, reveling in the feel on her hands on his hot skin.

"Your skin is hotter than I imagined," she murmured.

She straddled him and trailed kisses down his torso. She paused when she reached his member and then licked him; he arched his back and growled. She crawled up his body, grabbed his face, and kissed him while she impaled herself upon him. He stayed still as she rocked, her eyes closed and her head back, her body leaning backward slightly as she supported her hands on his thighs.

He watched her in the darkness as her body danced on top of his and marveled as she climaxed and cried out. As she came down her high he placed her on the futon and started to lap at the sweat on her body, cleaning away the foul scent of another man's blood. He knew she'd saved a man's life today, that it was an act of mercy that drenched her in the scent of another man, but still he needed to clean her, to clean away the presence of a stranger, and claim her with his own scent. She writhed as he licked her, her hands entangled in his hair.

He came to the junction of her legs and licked her there as she had him. Here he fully dominated her; no one had ever touched her here but he, and he cleaned her thoroughly, his tongue slipping in deeply. She ground her hips against his seeking tongue and then suddenly pulled away, pushing him back and inserting him within her again. He thrust into her, her quivering body seated upon him, his hands guiding her body as he fucked her again. Her head flopped bonelessly as he fucked her, and when she climaxed again, squeezing him tightly with her vaginal walls, she bite down on his shoulder, drawing blood. He climaxed as her teeth met his skin and they sat for long moments afterward, their arms wrapped around each other. Then he lay her down on the futon and they slept until dawn brightened the rice paper walls.

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Read and Review. Thanks.


	22. Chapter 22

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

Modern Day Japan….

Sesshomaru dressed in his human suit and waited in his room as the human police approached his domain. Rin still slept in his bed, her mouth open a breath, her hair a tangled cloud. He had miscalculated his human occupants; none who remained would dare give the position of their home away, but who's to say those who left wouldn't? Clearly one of the children had "tattled"; he could guess which one.

It mattered not. He would welcome—he shuddered—the human authorities to search his estate and establish whether or not Rin was kidnapped. He should wake her before their appearance, but he didn't want to disturb her fitful sleep; she'd tossed and turned all night and had only just reached a peaceful slumber a few hours ago.

The courtyard below was deserted. When everyone learned of the approaching horde of police officers, they'd all retreated to their quarters and remained silent. Typically a bright morning such as this would have several children out playing in the dirt while the human chattered and went about their work; it was a bit disturbing to listen to the hard silence that now permeated the estate.

Sesshomaru stood and moved over to the bed, bending low to brush a stray hair off of Rin's face. "Awaken," he said.

Her eyes fluttered open and she stretched, moaning and smiling as her eyes fell on him. "Good morning," she said. The utter trust in her eyes steeled his resolve to not "make a scene" when the unwelcome arrived.

"Rin," he said, "someone comes. I wanted to prepare you before they arrived."

She sat up, her features falling and concern dimming her eyes. "Who?"

"The police," he said.

Her eyes widened and she looked around the room, drawing the covers over her naked body. "You said there was a barrier that kept them away."

"There is," he said as he retrieved a clean yukata for her. "But I dispelled it when the human authorities made a concerted effort to illuminate my property; clearly someone has told them where you are, and I felt it would be more prudent to have them come then continue looking for something they couldn't see."

She climbed out of bed and shrugged on her yukata, tying the robe around her body and fixing the folds so they were hidden beneath her obi. "Really?"

He paused, his hand outstretched with her obi. "Should I have done something else?"

Rin's face registered surprise. "I thought you would have just let them keep looking; they would have left eventually when they found nothing."

She was right, of course, but he'd wanted to get this whole debacle over with. Her face was plastered all over the news and if she wanted to go out beyond these walls then she would need to be free to do so without interference from well-meaning Japanese citizens. He had assumed that was what she'd want. "I assumed you would want to go out into the human world at some point, since you seemed unable to do many things because of your weakness."

She looked at him for a long moment, her head tilted to one side. Then she said, "You've always had my best interests at heart, haven't you, Sesshomaru?"

He turned away to hide the non-blush that stained his cheeks. He didn't blush, wouldn't now, but he did feel odd, like she'd patted him on the head and called him a "good" dog. Even now he couldn't own up to his own emotions.

The male servant appeared, his hands twisting painfully. "I am sorry, my Lady; it is all my fault."

Rin looked at him surprised. "Why would you say that?" she said as she turned the obi around so that the bow was on her back.

He knelt at her feet, his face almost touching the tatami. "It was my son who turned my Lord in," he said, his voice muffled.

Rin knelt down and guided the man to stand. "It is not your fault."

The man's eyes were red and puffy. "I shouldn't have asked you to give them a letter."

Rin smiled and patted his shoulder. "If we're going to assign blame, then I shouldn't have gone out in the first place."

The man looked horrified. "No, my Lady, it's not Your fault; the fault is only mine for raising a son who didn't know how good his Lord has been to him."

Sesshomaru was annoyed by this conversation. "Prepare some food and drinks for our guests," he said, waving the man away.

The man looked frightened but left the room in a measured pace.

Rin said, "You don't have to be so curt with him; he was only apologizing."

"It matters not how he is affiliated with the boy; it is the boy who has betrayed me."

"But he feels guilty because it is his son; don't you feel any compassion?" she said.

"No," he replied. And he didn't, but he could see his behavior bothered Rin, so he said, "I will make it clear to him that it is not his fault."

She smiled and sat at the window. "They're here."

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Rin watched as Sesshomaru ushered the officers through the gates, their faces bewildered. Clearly they hadn't expected such a welcome. They peered around the silent courtyard at the homes scattered along the walk. Someone asked Sesshomaru something but from this distance she couldn't hear what; she could only see his mouth moving as he replied.

The officers broke up into groups and began to methodically search the premises. One officer stayed with Sesshomaru as he entered the house, and soon they both entered the bed chamber. The officer looked at Sesshomaru and Rin, then rushed to her side. "Are you all right, ma'am?"

Rin had planned to be gracious and courteous, but she said, "Do I look all right? Your presence woke me from a deep slumber."

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed as he watched her. A servant came in a served tea.

"Have a seat," Rin said.

The officer sat, leaving his tea untouched.

Rin sipped hers, the acid in her stomach roiling. "My parents have informed you that I've been kidnapped; they are wrong."

"Are they?" the officer said.

"Do I look like I've been kidnapped?" she countered. "It is impolite to leave your tea untouched after the servants worked so hard to make it."

He picked up his tea, sniffed it, and took a sip.

"It is poisoned," she said.

The officer spat it out and coughed, clutching his throat. Rin laughed and put her cup down, bending forward to the officer. He pulled his service weapon and pointed it at her, then at Sesshomaru, then back to her, his eyes darting all over the room.

Rin sat back, still laughing, Sesshomaru glowering at her now. "I am joking," she said, batting the gun away from her.

The officer leveled his gun at her again. "I am an officer, ma'am."

"That you are," she said, draining her tea cup in one gulp. "And I am but a girl spending some time with her fiancé, a fiancé that her parents adamantly do not like, so when she 'disappeared'," she said her finger's quoting, "they said she was kidnapped." She poured herself some more tea. "Then you come waltzing in and awaken me from my slumber. I have a weak constitution—I'm sure my parents told you—and sleep is very important; but you come in anyway, forcing me to wake up, and expect me to welcome you here as if nothings wrong?"

In one swift motion she knocked the gun from his hand and poured the hot tea on him. The gun clattered to the floor and he yelped, jumping back to try to avoid being drench in the hot liquid. Rin sat down and placed the tea pot carefully back on the table. The officer stared at her, drenched in hot tea, his mouth opened wide.

"And now we will have to replace the mats," Rin said, sipping her tea. "You can tell my parents that they can come and get me themselves." She turned away from the officer.

Rin watched as they all left, the other officers keen at not looking at their wet superior. She watched their cars as they rolled serpent-like down the mountain. Sesshomaru returned and stared down at the mess, his brow furrowed.

"Something wrong, my Lord?" she said.

"Your behavior is most perplexing," he said, not sitting because the chair was covered with tea.

A servant came in and cleared away the tea.

Rin yawned. "I am not a morning person."

"You are not the same woman I knew from so long ago," he said.

Rin stood. "I have another life of memories, my Lord; you cannot expect me to be the same woman you fell in love with so long ago."

He arched a brow. "Did I say I fell in love with you then?"

"So you do love me," she said stepping forward.

His brow furrowed. "Did you not know that?"

She traced her finger along his suit jacket. "You haven't said it."

He leaned forward. "Do you need me to say it?"

She shook her head. "No."

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Rin's parents sat in an interrogation room being berated by the officer in charge whose clothes were damp for some reason. "But she was taken," the woman said.

"She insists that she has not been kidnapped," the officer said.

"Then she is lying," Rin's father replied.

The officer stopped his pacing and looked at the man. "Do I look like someone who can't tell when someone's lying?"

Rin's parents looked at one another but said nothing; obviously the officer had bought whatever story that horrid man had manufactured and made Rin repeat.

"She said you can go get her yourselves," the officer said, waving his arms in the air.

They stood. "Where is she?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sesshomaru was not surprised to see another unfamiliar car driving up the road toward his estate. He hadn't cloaked it with a barrier again because he believed Rin's invitation would be accepted. Jaken was now entertaining Rin in his chambers, the imp sitting on his bed and talking about everything that had happened in the time since she'd died 500 years ago.

Sesshomaru went down to the gate and opened it as her parents got out of their car. "Rin is waiting for you inside; she was too weak to come out and greet you."

"What have you done to my daughter?" the man said, getting in Sesshomaru's face.

Sesshomaru flinched; the stench human's created was sometimes like a slap in the face. The man smiled, thinking he'd won the upper hand.

Sesshomaru turned away. "I have done nothing to your daughter." They followed him into the house.

Jaken was still chatting animatedly on the bed when Rin's parents entered the room. Rin's smile faltered and then was replaced with a frown. Jaken turned around and brandished his staff. "You have displeased Rin."

He jumped off the bed and ran toward them, but Sesshomaru stepped on his face. Rin's mother fainted.

"Hello, father," she said, not getting out of bed.

Her father looked down at the prone imp and stepped over him carefully. "Is this how you bring honor to our family? By consorting with these things?"

Rin's eyes glazed over for a moment then she said, "I know you were both so happy when you first adopted me, and I am thankful that you took me in. But all your feelings of love evaporated as my health failed, and now I am a burden to you. I am, in name, your daughter, but in spirit I am just a burden."

Sesshomaru watched the exchange with narrowed eyes. Her childhood had been unhappy in this life as well; she'd been burdened with unloving adoptive parents and had felt isolated and alone all her life. He growled, his claws clicking together.

She raised her hand toward him and he stopped. "I do not need you to fight this battle for me," she said.

Her father looked back at him and Sesshomaru saw unease flicker in his eyes.

"Do as you wish," Sesshomaru said.

Rin continued, "I am thankful for what you have provided for me, but I will no longer suffer at home. I am an adult; I can make my own decisions."

Rin's mother came to; she said as she was getting up from the floor, her hand on her head, "We love you, Rin; even if we haven't been good enough parents to show it, we do love you."

Rin smiled sadly. "Thank you."

"Come home," her mother said.

"I can't."

The woman stepped around Jaken and went to Rin's side, holding her hand; she tucked a hair behinds Rin's ear. "Look at you; your cheeks are flushed with color."

Tears slipped down Rin's face. "I am happy here."

The woman looked from Rin to her husband then back to Rin again. "I wish-"

Rin patted her mother's hand. "I know, I know."

Rin's mother bowed her head and sobbed into the covers; Rin's father looked at the scene with growing dismay. "Stop crying; Rin's coming home with us today."

Sesshomaru spun the man around and said, "Rin is dying."

Rin's mother gasped and cried louder, clutching the bed cover with her fingers; her father slowly turned his head to look at Rin and his wife. "Then, then she has to come home with us." He walked slowly over to his family and said, "Don't you want to spend whatever time you have left with the only people who've loved you?"

Rin looked up at her father and said, "He loves me; he's loved me for a very long time."

Her father looked between them and said, "How is that possible? You've never met this man before."

Rin shook her head. "It doesn't matter how it's possible; it just is. And I love him too. Whatever time I have left, I want to be with him."

The man stared at Rin as if he'd never seen her before; a trembling hand reached out and smoothed her hair down her back. "Rin, I can't-"

"You will," Rin said. "I'm sorry, Father, Mother; but I won't go home. I'm going to stay here."

Rin's mother rubbed the tear trails away and stood up; she kissed Rin on the head and said, "I love you; be a good girl."

"I will," Rin said, touching her mother's face.

The woman left the room.

Rin's father knelt beside the bed. "I did my best," he said, his eyes distant.

"I know," Rin said, grabbing his hand.

"Your mother is right; you do look happy here," he said. "I'm sorry."

Rin cried with her head bowed forward; her father gathered her into his arms and shed a few tears, then pushed her away, his hands braced on her shoulders. "Be happy, my child; I love you."

"I love you too, Daddy," Rin said. She kissed his cheek.

The man left.

Rin watched from the window as the only people she'd known walked away for the last time.

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"So I'm dying," Rin said, once again beneath the covers. Jaken had regained consciousness and was sitting on the bed with her again.

"No you're not," Jaken said. He looked at Sesshomaru. "Right, my Lord?"

Sesshomaru said nothing.

Jaken looked back at Rin. "You can't be dying."

Rin patted the imp on the head. "I have always been dying, Master Jaken; it is the natural way of things. I think I'll be moving on sooner rather than later, though."

Big tears filled the imps eyes. "But, but-" He fled from the room.

"How long do you think I have?" she asked Sesshomaru. How much longer would she be able to share what little life she had left with him?

"I do not know, Rin," he said, getting into the bed beside her.

"But you can bring me back, right?" She laid her head on her chest.

He nodded, his fingers entangled in her hair. "I can, but it won't be for long; the Tenseiga cannot make you whole."

So she was on borrowed time, and when she died, he'd bring her back but she'd still be on borrowed time. It wasn't fair; she had what she'd wanted so many years ago and now it would be taken from her before she'd had long to enjoy it.

"I'm sorry," she said.

He held her as she cried.

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	23. Chapter 23

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

Warring States Era….

Rin was not surprised to awaken alone. She sat up and looked around the room for any sign of what had transpired last night, but there was nothing. She flopped back down on the futon and gazed at the wood beams above her, her body languid. If she could she'd stay here all day, enjoying the aftermath of her night with Sesshomaru. But she couldn't; she had things to do.

She dressed in her newly clean clothes and tied her hair back with a ribbon, then she picked up her things and opened the shoji door.

Sesshomaru stood on the other side.

"My Lord," she said, stepping back.

He tilted his head to the side. "What is wrong, Rin?"

She shook her head and blinked several times, wondering if she was hallucinating. But no, he still stood there, a puzzled look on his perfect features. "Nothing, my Lord."

He narrowed his eyes but stepped aside to let her pass. She was acutely aware of his presence behind her, aware of the villager's reactions as she walked to the hut where she'd left the injured man. The man was still lying down, but he was awake and alert, and his wife and child were happily chatting with him.

"Priestess Rin," the woman said, standing up and grabbing Rin's hand. "Thank you."

The man said, his head turned to Rin, "The villagers are saying that a great demon follows you."

_Not usually_, she thought, but replied, "Does it bother you?"

He shook his head. "A great healer, such as yourself, can handle a demon."

The corner of Rin's mouth turned up. "I did nothing; your body did all the work."

He nodded solemnly. "But if you weren't here it wouldn't have been given the chance to do its work, as you say."

The child stood up and shyly produced a flower wreath for Rin. "Thank you," she said, then ran back to her father's side.

Rin was still smiling as she exited the hut, the wreath lopsided. "Look," she said to Sesshomaru, pointing at her head, "my first wreath. Remember when…." She closed her mouth.

This wasn't part of the deal; he wasn't supposed to be here; he was supposed to be anywhere else but here. She couldn't pretend all day that there was nothing wrong; it would be too exhausting. "My Lord, you should return to your duties," Rin said, for lack of anything better to say. What should she say? Return to his estate? Return to his life without her? Return to whatever the hell it was he did when he wasn't with her?

"Do you not want me here?" he said.

She turned her back and walked away. "No, I don't."

He followed. "You're lying."

Rin walked briskly away, leaving the village behind with Sesshomaru on her heels. "Yes, I do want you here," she said, not looking at him as she walked, "but I don't want to be reminded all the time of what I cannot have."

He appeared in front of her and she jerked to a halt. "Is it not enough to just be with me?" he said, his amber eyes intense.

She pushed passed him. "It's not."

Why couldn't he understand that she wanted more than just his presence here? She wanted his heart; she wanted his entire being to yearn for her, wanted his first breath every morning to whisper her name. She wanted him to sweep her into his arms and kiss away all her fears and doubts. When had she become a hopeless romantic?

"Why?" he said, stopping her.

_Because I love you, asshole, and I want you to love me back_. She said, "Because." She tried to move beyond him but he stopped her.

"Why?" he repeated.

"You know why," she said, struggling.

He grabbed both her arms and looked into her eyes. "You want me to love you."

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She looked away from him as she said, "See, I told you you knew why."

He'd never met a more obstinate woman in his life. She stood rigidly in his grasp, her gaze averted, but her body was on fire beneath his claws. He could take her now and keep her suspended in bodily pleasure forever, but it wouldn't be enough. He was acutely aware, even when they were in the middle of copulating, that a part of her was missing, a part of her was distant; he wanted that part of her back.

He pulled her close, inhaling her scent. For a moment he let himself go, let the emotions he knew were there flood his mind, felt the intense need to keep her safe and by his side, felt an overwhelming sense of loyalty, longing, and possession. His mind traced back to the first moment he'd seen her, a curious child in a harsh world; she was still a child compared to his long years, but she was a woman, a woman who needed to be loved and cared for and nurtured by those she trusted.

Would it be too much to just take her? Let her believe that he loved her as she desired? Is it enough that he wanted to keep her safe always? That he grew bored and restless when she wasn't with him? That he longed to see her smiling face and hear her laughter everyday?

But she would be hunted. She would be in constant danger. He couldn't-

"What difference would it make if you were to love me?" she said. "How would anything have been different if I had returned to you when you first came for me?"

How would things have been different? She still would have been in danger because she was his ward; she still would have been hunted by those who would try to use her against him. But things couldn't be as simple as that; _he_ couldn't be the reason why things weren't going the way he wanted.

Kohaku and the fire neko approached. He released Rin and touched her neck, feeling her pulse beneath his fingertips. Then he left.

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Rin ground her teeth together and stomped her feet. "Argh!"

Kohaku hopped of Kirara and said, "Something wrong, Rin?"

She stomped forward. "Nothing," she ground out.

He left; he just left. Didn't say anything in reply, just left. She wanted to throttle his slender neck. And she wanted to beat Kohaku to within an inch of his life for interrupting. She'd been stupid to think he'd stayed with her because he'd wanted to; he was just waiting for Kohaku to return.

Kohaku caught up with her. "Everyone says hi."

That's right; he went to see everyone. "How are they?"

He fell into step with her. "Good….Kagome told me what happened."

"I told you to ask her," she said, annoyed by his tone.

"Do you really-"

"I wouldn't know," she said, throwing her hands up into the air, "it hasn't happened to me. It happened to another me, or will happen to me, or something." She didn't get it.

"Did something happen with Lord Sesshomaru?" Kohaku said, his voice quavering.

She rounded on him. "We had sex! But he won't let himself love me so we're not together, but we are together, because we've had sex twice, but he won't make a commitment."

Kohaku's mouth grew wider and he blinked several times as Rin spoke her mind. Rin would have found the whole thing funny if she wasn't so pissed off. "Where's Kirara?" she said, noticing the absence of the fire neko for the first time.

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Sesshomaru didn't run from anything; he'd only retreated to regroup. Kirara, transformed into her larger form, kept pace beside him. "I'm not running," he said. He was in fact walking, not far behind Rin and the boy.

Kirara said nothing.

He hadn't intended to leave; he had intended to persuade her to give up her dream and just be with him and be happy. But his mind must be running slower because he'd been unable to reply to her last question.

"The girl child loves you," Kirara said in a series of growls and grunts.

"I know that," Sesshomaru replied in kind.

"You love her," she said.

Did he? "Why do you say that?"

Kirara chuffed, laughing at him. "You are but a young, inexperienced demon; you still have much to learn. You and Inuyasha have that in common."

"I could rip you limb from limb," he replied in a human tongue.

Kirara growled, "You could try."

He was certain he could beat the fire neko into submission, but he wouldn't.

Kirara turned into a ball of flame and became a small cat, bounding off into the distance. "They are calling for me."

He would never be at the beck and call of some human. No matter what that cat said, he knew his own mind; he'd know if he loved Rin, wouldn't he?

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Several weeks later….

Rin waited in the darkness with the other women, banging her head against the rock.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Kohaku and Kirara were supposed to save her before she reached the cave, and then they were supposed to release the women. But here she sat, surrounded by frightened young women, trying to be a mature adult when all she wanted to do was kick and scream and beat someone up.

She was summoned.

A man sat in the room she was shoved into, twiddling a knife between his fingers. "I was told you'd cause trouble."

Rin clenched her fists. "By who?"

He looked at her. "Yoshimura heard it from a little bird."

_Did he, now_, she thought. She crossed her arms over her chest. "And what did this bird get in return?"

"Dinner," he said, standing, "I believe it was dinner."

"Now you're going to tell me what happened to my companions," she said, walking toward him.

He brought the knife up and said, "Na-ah, you stay right where you are."

Rin stopped, her hands loose at her sides.

"The cat and the boy were incapacitated; poison gas, I believe," he said, picking his nails with his knife. "So you see, there's no one to save you."

"Who said I needed saving?" she said, then she dashed forward, knocking the knife from his fingers and driving a kick into his stomach.

He flew over a table and crashed into a wall, still conscious. Rin picked up the knife and held the hilt in her hand, the blade along her arms as the man got up and stomped through the debris. He lunged at her with both hands, trying to get her neck, but she side-stepped him and punched him in the face with the hilt of the knife. He howled as blood spurted from his nose, his hands cupping the broken appendage. Rin turned swiftly and delivered a kick to his head, the momentum knocking him out, his body sprawled limply on the floor. The door flew open and she spun, throwing the knife at the intruder.

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"What would you have done if I were Kohaku?" Sesshomaru said, absently flicking the knife out of his chest.

Rin's shoulders sagged. "You couldn't have been Kohaku."

Sesshomaru stepped into the room and surveyed the damage; a man was unconscious on the floor behind Rin. "So you've figured it out."

"I didn't figure on you showing up," she said, walking passed him and deeper into the cave.

"Kagome said I would be here," he said, following her.

"Kagome also said I'd kill myself, but I haven't done that yet," Rin called back. She punched the guard in the face and opened the cell door, releasing the women. All the women rushed out and began to kick the guard mercilessly. Rin walked back up the corridor and Sesshomaru fell into step with her.

"Kagome predicted you'd kill yourself sometime after this moment," he said as they walked out into the darkness. "She believed this night would be a pivotal point in your life that could lead you down a path of destruction."

Rin stopped and stared at him. "I don't think I've ever heard so many words come out of your mouth."

Was she making fun of him? He turned his head away and said nothing.

She walked away.

"Where are you going?" he said.

She turned around, walking backward away from him. "Back; where do you think I'm going?"

Humans were notorious for falling on their asses when they weren't looking where they were going; Sesshomaru caught her before she hit the ground. She looked up at him, startled. He set her on her feet. "You don't know where you're going; I can take you there."

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded. He gathered her close and whisked her off in a ball of light to her chosen destination. It was the first time he'd done this with anyone.

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Rin wasn't sure what happened. One moment they were outside the cave and the next they were in front of Yoshimura's house. She knew Sesshomaru's talents were many and varied, but this one was something she hadn't seen. For a moment she felt the world spin as he feet touched the ground; she clutched his kimono shirt in her hands to steady herself.

"Where?" she said.

He looked down at her. "The boy and the cat are unharmed as of this moment; the man you seek is in his chambers."

Rin brought her hands down and turned away, her head high and back straight. Would he follow? Yes, he would; he intentionally crunched the dirt beneath his feet when he wanted her to know he was there. Rin didn't know where she was going or what she was going to do; any choice she may have had was thwarted when someone yelled, "Hey you," and came running at her with his sword drawn.

"I can do it," she said, and launched herself at the man, knocking his sword to the side and punching him in the face. She ignored the screaming pain of her fist and spun, kicking him in the chest armor and knocking him back; not waiting for him to recover his balance she kicked high and hit him on the side of the face. He went down but he wasn't out, so she stomped on his head, knocking him out.

Other men came running and Sesshomaru didn't bother to wait for her cue; he attacked while standing still, his poison claws ripping through the men like a newly formed blade. In the time it had taken her to dispatch one man he'd killed five; other guards who'd seen the carnage and decided to run with their tails between their legs, didn't have a chance; Sesshomaru didn't bother to even look at them when he killed them.

"I said I could handle it," Rin said through gritted teeth as she advanced toward the front steps.

"I never said you couldn't," he replied, following her.

"It certainly seems like you thought I couldn't."

"You took out that man without my help; it was what you asked," he said.

She rolled her eyes but she wasn't really cross with him; she'd wanted to demonstrate that she could handle things on her own, without his assistance. He had let her deal with the man alone; to be strictly fair, he was right in killing everyone else without her say so.

"Rin," he said, a warning in his voice, but she continued forward and soon found herself with a knife pressed against her neck facing her Lord.

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Sesshomaru was annoyed. This wasn't supposed to happen; Rin wasn't supposed to be a hostage, shouldn't have been in any danger. But as humans do, she blindly went forward and hadn't considered that the man she sought was indeed hiding in the shadows of the doorway. Now the man, Yoshimura, had her right arm locked behind her with a knife to her throat. The knife edge, sharp, made a small cut from which a small trail of blood issued.

Sesshomaru growled.

"Stay where you are, demon, or I will cut her throat," the man said.

Sesshomaru replied, "How do you intend to come from this situation alive, Yoshimura?"

The man smiled. "So you know my name."

Sesshomaru's annoyance grew another notch.

"My Lord-" Rin began, but was stopped when the knife dug a little deeper into her throat.

Sesshomaru's claws clicked together, agitated.

"Quiet, Priestess, or I will have to silence you with my knife," Yoshimura said, gripping her tighter.

Rin stilled, her body a tense wire ready to snap.

"What is your plan, human?" Sesshomaru said.

Yoshimura's eyes darted side to side, then he said, "I will take her with me; when I am far enough away I will release her."

"I will still catch you and kill you," Sesshomaru replied.

"Then perhaps I should just kill her now," he said.

Rin stood straighter as the knife drew closer; she blinked slowly a few times. Sesshomaru has no idea what she was trying to say, but he ground his teeth together and waited. "What will you do, human? Either way, you die."

Yoshimura had no options, so he brought the knife top to Rin's left ear and jerked his arm across her throat.

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	24. Chapter 24

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

Modern Day Japan….

Jaken was worried. Everyday Rin grew weaker and weaker, and his Lord grew more despondent by the day, never leaving her side. Rin was too weak even to get out of bed anymore, and spent many hours listening to the lives he and Lord Sesshomaru had made in her absence.

Now she lay back, propped up on a pillow in his Lord's lap, smiling. "I wish I had been there," she said.

Jaken felt foolish but he said, "You were; I always thought about you."

Sesshomaru said, "Jaken has had a crush on you for 500 years, Rin."

Rin laughed, but Jaken sputtered, "Don't make fun of me, my Lord; I don't have a crush on this insolent girl."

Sesshomaru kicked him in the head; Jaken fell over, his eyes rolling back into his head. Rin laughed, then began to cough, her breathing uneven.

Jaken sat up and peered at her, his eyes large. "Are you okay, Rin?"

Rin made a smile, but Jaken could see the pain. "You are in love with me, Master Jaken," she said, her voice gravelly.

He nodded before he knew what he was doing; she chuckled and patted him on the head. "I love you too, Master Jaken." She kissed his cheek.

Jaken passed out.

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"You shouldn't tease him," Sesshomaru said as Rin settled back in his lap.

"I wasn't," she replied, "I do love him as well." And she did, not in the same way she loved Sesshomaru; not even in the same way she loved Ah-Un; but she did love Jaken, maybe as a friend, a weird abusive friend who never meant what he said.

"Should I be worried?" Sesshomaru said, tightening his hold on her.

She looked up at him and said, "Yes; we were planning on running away tonight."

"Is that so?" he said, kicking Jaken.

Jaken jumped up. "She lies, my Lord; I would never do such a thing!"

Rin giggled and began to cough again. She stuck her hand out and Jaken shoved a glass of water into her grasp; she drank several gulps gratefully. "I am tired," she choked out.

Sesshomaru removed himself from the bed. "I will get some water for you." He left the room.

Jaken's eyes jumped all over the room, confusion on his face.

Rin said, sitting up, "He is giving you some time to say goodbye to me, Master Jaken."

Jaken's eyes grew large and shiny. "Why? You're not going anywhere…are you?"

Rin opened her arms and the imp came toward her, uncertain; she maneuvered him so he sat in her lap. His confusion increased, and she said, "I am dying, Master Jaken. This will be the last moment you see me."

Jaken grabbed her by her kimono collar. "My Lord will bring you back, Rin; He will not let you die."

Rin pulled the imp to her chest, hugging him for the first and last time. "I never imagined I would find you sitting in my lap, Master Jaken, trying to soothe me before I die."

Tears were not spilling from his eyes. "You can't die, Rin; not again."

Rin held his little hand in hers. "Everyone dies, Master Jaken; it is my time now."

"But, but, but," he blubbered, his voice catching at the tears came faster.

"It's all right," she said, fixing his wrinkled clothing, "I'll always be here." She patted his chest. "And I will be waiting for you when you move on to the next world."

He jumped on her, his arms around her neck, his tears staining her collar. "Don't go, Rin!"

She held him for awhile until his tears calmed and he pulled away. "Thank you, Master Jaken."

He hopped onto the floor and picked up his staff. "My Lady, Rin," he said, bowing, and then he left the room.

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Sesshomaru passed the bawling imp but didn't stop him; Jaken would deal with his grief alone. Sesshomaru still had things to do and Rin was waiting.

She wiped the tears from her face as he entered the room and smiled. "Sesshomaru," she said.

He placed the pitcher of water he'd brought from the kitchens on a bedside table and crawled into be with her. He kissed her temple and drew her to his body, enjoying the way her curves fit him. "You are going away again, Rin," he said.

"Yes," she replied.

"I will miss you," he said. He would do more than miss her; he would grieve and he didn't know when he'd ever feel whole again.

She sat up, her dark hair falling across her face and onto the bed. "Then let's make a promise," she said, her eyes bright.

_What is she talking about?_ he thought.

"Promise to meet me by the sacred tree 500 years from now," she said, sticking her hand out with her pinkie extended.

He lifted his hand, unsure what he should do. She hooked her finger with his and shook, saying, "It's a promise."

She lay back down with him, her back to his front, her hands on his. "Will it hurt?"

"Dying?" he said.

She nodded.

"I don't know." He'd never died.

"Did it hurt last time?"

Yes, he hurt for a long time, still hurt, but she wasn't asking about him. "No, it didn't; you were very peaceful."

She sighed, then said, "Make love to me one more time."

He turned her on her back, stroking her face and neck, the skin exposed by the parting of her kimono collars. His hands never left her skin as he slowly undressed her, her eyes never leaving his as he knelt above her, unclothed. Her eyes shut for the briefest moment as he entered her, then she gasped, her eyes wide as he moved slowly within her.

He slowed his pace, enjoying all her sounds and the feel of her body, trying to make this moment last forever as her heart beat an unhealthy rhythm in her chest. She jerked beneath him and clung to him, shoving her hips forward, grinding against him; he quickened his pace and she trashed beneath him, her hair flying. As she came she pushed herself off the bed, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, crying out his name over and over.

Her heart beat slowed as he laid her back down on the bed. He knelt above her, his eyes etching her face into his memory as her heartbeat slowed further. She touched him face, smiling.

She died.

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Rin opened her eyes and found Sesshomaru sitting on the bed with her. He was staring at her like he'd never seen her before, like he'd never see her again. And he wouldn't; she could still feel the unhealthy beat of her heart in her chest. She had hoped that the Tenseiga would heal her, but it only postponed her death; it couldn't heal what was broken in her body.

"Sesshomaru," she whispered.

He came to her, lifting her easily from the bed and holding her close as he sat by the window, the cool night air on her face. She sat cuddled against his chest, her head resting on his shoulder, her eyes able to look at his face.

It wasn't fair; why did she have to die? Shouldn't what had happened in the past be erased by now? Shouldn't everything be okay now? Why hadn't her memories changed of the past; surely Kagome and Inuyasha had changed something. But still she could remember the moment she died by her own hand, the despair she'd felt so long ago. There would be no salvation for her, no going back and fixing what she'd done.

Sesshomaru was staring at her, his eyes large and shiny.

"Will you cry when I am gone?" she said, touching his face.

He said nothing.

She leaned forward and kissed him, feeling her life escaping her body.

A tear slid down his cheek and he said, "I love you, Rin."

She smiled. "I love you too, Sesshomaru."

She died again.

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Sesshomaru laid her gently on the bed, unable to bring her back again. Jaken peeked into the room and when he wasn't beaten, he came in and sat by her side, his small green hands holding her frail human hand.

Rage filled him as he gazed at her lifeless body.

Inuyasha had failed; Inuyasha would die. As soon as the half-breed came back from the time before, Sesshomaru would kill him.

Sesshomaru howled and transformed into his true form, a large dog. He ran from his estate, ran from her body, ran from all the things he loved. The rage was bigger than he was, consuming his mind, unraveling what little sanity he had left.

He was searching for something, searching for something to put and end to this misery. The sacred tree loomed into view, dwarf by his size. He opened his jaws and went to rip the tree from its roots, but knew nothing more as the world changed.

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	25. Chapter 25

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

Warring States Era….

Rin pushed back as Yoshimura tried to slit her throat, forcing him back and his knife hand to flail. With the point safely away from her throat, she elbowed him in the ribs, grabbed his right arm and flipped him on his back. She stepped quickly around his arm and twisted, the bones cracking as he screamed. "Mercy! Mercy!"

Rin dropped his arms and scuttled back, clutching the broken appendage. She walked toward him, touching her neck where the knife had bitten into her throat. "You want mercy?" she said. "How many people did you turn deaf ears to when they cried out for mercy?" She planted her foot on his chest and pushed him down to the ground; she pressed down until she heard the ribs crack under her weight. He tried to stagger her by grabbing her foot with his left hand, but she stomped on his ribs, making him scream again, tears flooding down his face. She stepped over his body as he lay in shock, and stomped on his left hand, breaking all his fingers.

He whimpered as she lifted him by his collar. "You're lucky that I'm not like you," she said, then she punched him in the face.

She dropped him and turned to Sesshomaru, who still stood where she'd left him moments before. It was one thing to fight demons but an entirely other thing to fight humans; Sesshomaru seemed to have no problem dealing with either, but Rin felt her body begin to shake. She fell to her knees and threw up, her body spasming as the totality of the night fell across her mind.

Yes, she knew there were evil, evil people, both human and demon. She had thought when she'd set out from Kagome's village that she would be able to handle the many faces of evil in the world, but now that she'd faced one and defeated it, the will to fight left her. She didn't want to do this for the rest of her life; she didn't want to be this woman who had to stand strong and prove her worth over and over again.

How could he stand there undisturbed by all the death and suffering he'd caused or seen? Why didn't it bother him to kill anyone? Why didn't it bother her that he killed people?

She sat back on her knees and looked up at him, wiping the bile from her mouth. "How do you do it?" she said.

He tilted his head. "Do what?"

"How do you kill people and feel no remorse?"

"Rin, you haven't killed anyone," he said.

"I know," she said, her hands coming up and then flapping down on her lap. "But I want to know."

He blinked several times then replied, "They were in the way."

She closed her eyes and laughed. She stood up and staggered toward him, saying, "You want to know the worst thing about all this?"

He caught her as she collapsed. "What, Rin," he said.

"I don't care and I just want to go home." She passed out.

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Sesshomaru transported her to her room at his castle and then went back and released the boy and the fire neko, neither of which would be able to care for themselves, so he dropped them off with his brother's wife and then returned to Rin. Jaken was waiting nervously by her bedside, his eyes large.

"She is exhausted," Sesshomaru said.

Jaken sighed, his face calming, then patted Rin on the hand and left the room.

The stress from her ordeal tonight had clearly hit a nerve. Rin was no stranger to human cruelty, and she could, at least academically, understand it and feel outraged by it; but to direct her rage to those who she felt she should have an innate depth of feeling because they were the same species, and then not to feel anything at all, was a shock to her system. She had never questioned his motives, never even wondered why she was okay with all the behaviors those of her species deemed hazardous and wrong. Maybe she was going through an identity crisis; humans frequently had to rearrange their world in order to fit in new ideas.

As he sat by her bedside waiting for her to awaken, he recalled the images of Yoshimura holding the knife to her neck. Rin had been in danger many, many times over the years, but he'd never felt the depth of rage he'd felt tonight when that human had soiled her body by holding her hostage. He'd wanted to rip him to shreds and stomp on the pieces, then bring him back and do it all over again. It seemed an eternity as he waited for Rin to make her move; he could have killed Yoshimura without hurting her, killed him in a dozen ways without harming a hair on her head, but she was determined to do things her way and he had trusted her to get it right.

What would he have done if she failed?

"What are you thinking about?" she said.

The words, "Stay with me," slipped out; his eyes darted to her face, the pit of his stomach roiling.

"I can't fight you anymore," she said, her eyes looking at the ceiling.

That was it? No more weeping and asking him why he couldn't love her? No more silence and aversion? Just like that she was back? He turned her face to his and said, "What do you want, Rin?"

"Love me," she said, tears flowing down her cheeks.

He caught one with his claw and stared at her distilled sorrow. All that had happened over the passed months, his behavior toward her when he'd gone to collect her from the village, the unmitigated anger he felt when she left him, his preoccupation with knowing where she was at all times, his inability to stay away from her, his rage when someone had dared to harm her, the pleasure he took from her body, all these things swept through his mind. Was this love, this collection of feelings? Was this what it felt like to love someone?

"If I left you now, what would you do?" he asked.

Rin blinked. "I would follow."

"How would you feel?"

Her brows knitted. "I would be angry."

"If someone tried to kill me, how would you feel?"

She ground her teeth. "I would kill them."

"When I was away from you all this time, did you wonder where I was?"

"Always," she whispered. "I want to be with you always."

"If I were," he leaned forward, "to kiss you, what would you do?"

She moaned and pushed herself forward, pressing her lips to his. "What are you trying to say?" she said, her breath tingling on his lips.

"I do," he whispered.

Rin smiled and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He picked her up and carried her to his room, laying her gently on the bed. "I do," he repeated over and over as he undressed her.

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His hands on her skin, his whispered oaths in her ears, Rin's body sang as he played with her heart strings. Her cries rang through the castle as he took her higher and higher, her body shuddering under the weight of all the pleasure he wrought. She lay shivering in his arms later, her head pillowed on his chest.

"Is this so bad?" she said.

"No," he replied, as serious as ever.

"If I were anyone else, I'd think you were making fun of me," she said.

"But you are not anyone else; you are Rin, and Rin knows me better than I know myself."

Rin leaned on her elbows to look at him. "Is that a weakness I detect, my Lord?" she said smiling.

"If it is, then it is one that I will keep close to me," he replied pulling her back down to his chest.

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Kagome had two very sick patients in a vacant hut; it would take awhile for both to heal, but in the mean time, Sango and her brood were having a good time bothering them. Kagome had to shoo them out one too many times and was once again doing so when she saw the visitors.

Rin came forward dressed in a beautiful kimono and hugged her. "Ah, what, um, bring you here?" she stuttered.

"He loves me," she whispered.

Sesshomaru's jaw hardened just a bit, but the damage was done. Inuyasha came bouncing in and said, "Welcome to the club, old man."

Sesshomaru gritted his teeth. "I do not belong to any club that includes you."

Inuyasha thumped Sesshomaru on the back, wincing as his hand encountered what felt like a brick wall. "Can't back out now."

"I would appreciate it if you didn't tease my Lord, Inuyasha," Rin said, walking over to Sesshomaru's side.

Inuyasha snorted. "He can handle anything I throw at him."

"Right," Rin said, standing in front of Inuyasha. "But can you handle anything I throw at you?" she said, then she grabbed his ears and yanked.

Inuyasha yelled and staggered back, his eyes wide and his fangs bared. "Rin, what-"

But everyone stopped to stare at Sesshomaru who had begun to laugh. Rin smiled and linked her arm with his, enjoying the sound of her Lord's happiness.

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	26. Chapter 26

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

Modern Day Japan….

Sesshomaru was waiting at the sacred tree as instructed so long ago; he'd been waiting for quite awhile. In the time he'd been here he'd seen Inuyasha and the miko countless times, neither of which seemed to notice him, and now that the miko was graduated from high school and breeding with his brother, it was clear that any need to hide his presence was gone. Naraku was dead; the timeline was fully established; everything was good.

Except he was still here waiting at this tree for someone he'd been waiting a long time to see. He leaned against the tree dressed in a suit. Mrs. Higurashi, a woman he'd watched for many years as she gave birth and raised the woman who would become his sister-in-law, often came to speak with him while he waited. She never asked him who he waited for or wondered why he never seemed to age; she just came over and chatted about different things, usually with a cup of tea.

Today it was a cup of Muscat oolong, and he sipped it as she asked, "How are your children?"

"They are well. They were unable to come today for personal reasons." His children were busy trying to take over the financial world; as demons there wasn't much land to go around these days, not with the rapid growth of the human population. His children had therefore diversified into economic matters; they owned several dozen companies and had so much money that they didn't even care about it anymore. If there furor for gaining more money ever died down, he would pity the next subject they took up.

Sesshomaru scowled as Inuyasha's scent got caught on the wind. More than 400 years ago his brother had disappeared; clearly this is where he'd gone. Today would be the first day he'd see the mutt, and even now he was irritated.

Inuyasha came out of the shrine rubbing his ears, a scowl embedded on his face. He stopped for a moment when he saw Sesshomaru, then rushed over. "Your woman just yanked on my ears," he said.

The corner of Sesshomaru's mouth turned up as he remembered that day; it was one of his favorite memories.

Mrs. Higurashi looked between the two males. "I should have guessed: brothers."

Kagome came over and said, "You know him, Mom?" She pointed at Sesshomaru.

Mrs. Higurashi laughed. "He's been coming here since before you were born, Kagome. I think he's waiting for someone."

Sesshomaru felt the blood rush in his face, but his cheeks didn't color; he never blushed. Clearly the woman was more perceptive than he'd given her credit for.

Kagome gave him a worried look.

"What?" he said.

She smiled wanly. "Nothing; we'll just wait and see."

He narrowed his eyes. She couldn't know what happened. There would be no reason for Rin to be punished this time.

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Isuzu climbed the steps of the shrine, her legs screaming. Why did it have so many steps? Where was an escalator when you needed one? She wasn't out-of-shape, but this many stairs would tire out an athlete. Everyday she passed this shrine and everyday she said she'd visit it tomorrow. Finally tomorrow was today, but she wondered if she'd pass out from all these damn stairs before she reached the top.

All her life she'd been attracted to shrines; big ones, small ones, ones that weren't even in use anymore. It was as if they were just precursors to this shrine, the Higurashi Shrine. When she'd first passed the shrine she'd felt a strong urge to climb these stairs, but her mind had butted in and said she needed to get to work, not climb a bunch of stairs to see another shrine. Today was her day off and she had all the time in the world to look at the shrine…so long as she survived the stairs.

She stomped on the last step and sighed, bent at the waist as the pain began to subside; she straightened up and inhaled a deep breath, exhaling all her worries before she entered under the torii gate. Immediately her eyes were drawn to the sacred tree and she walked to it, her feet moving without her brain. This tree seemed so familiar, like she'd seen it before; déjà vu, or maybe in a past life. She laughed; there was no such thing as past lives.

Beneath the tree stood four people: a priestess, a man who could have been a priest with shockingly white hair, another woman in an apron, and a man in a suit. The man in the suit was bent forward, talking to the priestess; his coloring looked similar to the other man, but he appeared far older…and he was familiar. Syllables floated through her mind but didn't coalesce. His nose flared and he looked up sharply at her, his amber eyes and somber face burning into her mind. The intensity of his gaze should have frightened her, but she smiled, a big toothy smile and walked over to him.

"Rin," he whispered.

She hesitated. "The characters of my name can be read as Rin; how did you know?"

His eyes flickered for a moment, as if he were seeing someone else, but they settled back on her. "I know you," he said.

The man in red, the one with the white hair and who resembled the taller man in the suit, said, in a warning tone, "She doesn't know you, Sesshomaru; she isn't the same woman."

"Sesshomaru," she whispered. "No, I don't think I've ever heard the name before." But she wanted to know more; she wanted to know much more.

"Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said, his eyes flashing.

The priestess stepped forward and placed a hand on Sesshomaru's arm. "Patience."

Sesshomaru ground his teeth and turned to Isuzu. "I am Sesshomaru," he said, inclining his head.

"Just Sesshomaru?" she said.

He nodded.

"Isuzu," she said, sticking out her hand.

He took it in his, his fingernails longer than she expected. "Just Isuzu?" he said, the corners of his mouth turning up.

She raised an eyebrow. "Have you another name to share?" She didn't see the point of sharing her last name since he hadn't shared his.

He was still holding her hand, his long fingers hot in her own; but he wasn't sweating. His suit was tailored to fit his form perfectly, but he looked as if he was from another time. Instead of averting his eyes he stared at her, carefully studying her features and she could swear he inhaled several times as if trying to catch her scent. He stepped forward and with his other hand he trailed his finger along her jaw and tilted her head up, his head leaning forward until his lips touched hers briefly.

"Remember," he said, his fingers pressed on her forehead.

She blinked as a shocked crossed over her brain from his fingers. Images came to her, images of another life in another time; a young girl with tangled hair; an older man in a kimono; a green thing with a staff. Words swirled with the images and the scent of flowers, many varieties of flowers, some loose and some arranged in a wreath. A young man dressed in red and a young girl dressed in a school uniform; a two-headed dragon named Ah-Un. And the words, "I do," repeated over and over and over again.

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Sesshomaru pressed his fingers to Rin's forehead and willed her to remember everything from her past life. It was an ability he'd picked up over time, and Rin was the first one he was trying it on. He had always been telepathic but rarely ever used the talent because people were easy enough to read without sifting through their inane thoughts.

As Rin lay in childbirth so long ago, her hand gripping his tightly as the twins were ready to be born, she'd whispered, "I want to remember everything."

And so he stood here reliving all his past memories for her so she would know everything; he also relayed what he'd been able to record from her own thoughts and hoped that her mind would fill in any of the blanks. Isuzu's eyes were closed and moving swiftly beneath her eyelids as if she were in a heightened state of sleep. She opened her eyes and said, "Where are they?"

"It seems I have been replaced," he said to her.

She smiled. "Never, my Lord." She leaned on her tiptoes and kissed him. "But I have waited 500 years to see them and I am impatient."

She turned to the others. "Kagome; Inuyasha," she said, bowing.

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. "Rin?"

She nodded.

He touched his ears gingerly and scowled. "Stay away from my ears."

Kagome said, "So are you Isuzu or Rin?"

"Both," she said, tilting her head as she considered the question for a moment.

Kagome's eyes flickered between her and Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru said, "What?" What was wrong now?

Kagome hesitated, then said, "I think it's abnormal for her to remember everything Rin knew."

Sesshomaru said, "She is right here; it is impolite to speak as if she weren't."

Kagome glared and turned her attention to Isuzu/Rin. "I don't think its normal for you to remember everything about Rin; you're two different people."

Isuzu/Rin glanced at Sesshomaru, then said, "I asked to remember everything before I died."

Kagome looked at Inuyasha, then said, "Kikyo and I share the same soul, but I don't have Kikyo's memories."

"No offense, but I doubt Kikyo would have wanted you to have her memories," Isuzu/Rin replied. "You two were rivals."

Kagome opened her mouth then shut it, no response coming to mind.

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"It may be abnormal for me to remember, but it's also abnormal for demons to exist at this time—and yet they do," she said, linking her arm in Sesshomaru's.

Two people appeared: a boy and a girl. They didn't use a car or walk or run, they just appeared out of nowhere; one moment no one was there and the next there they were. Rin disengaged herself from Sesshomaru and walked toward them, looking them each up and down. They bore her scrutiny with unrepressed eagerness, their mouths open as they inhaled her scent deeply. "Mother," they said in unison.

They pounced on her, both trying to hug her at the same time and making a mess of limbs and hair. Their hair was silver in tone as their father's, but the boy wore it short and the girl wore it to her mid-back; Rin had never been able to get her hair to be paper-straight and it was satisfying to see that neither could her children. Their eyes were amber like their fathers but they didn't have his markings, and they had normal human ears instead of dog ears like Inuyasha. They were both as tall as their father and were well dressed in business clothing.

They both hung around her neck for sometimes, rubbing their bodies against hers and talking without making any sense. Isuzu/Rin laughed and drew them closer. "I have waited 500 years to see you," she said.

Kagome and Inuyasha stood with their mouths open as they watched the scene. The twins turned to them and said, "Uncle Inuyasha and Aunt Kagome; it's nice to see after so long."

Inuyasha looked at Sesshomaru then back at the twins. "I don't think I know you yet."

The twins shrugged and turned back to their mother. "We have so much to tell you."

Rin laughed and said, "Names would be good first."

"Katsura," the boy said; "Tennin," the girl replied.

"'A handsome man from the moon' and 'a heavenly being'," Rin said to each in turn.

Mrs. Higurashi had disappeared at some point during the exchanged and reappeared with a tray containing several glasses of cold tea. After everyone took their glass, Mrs. Higurashi bowed to Isuzu/Rin and said, "It's nice to meet you; I am Kagome's mother."

Isuzu/Rin disentangled herself from her children and bowed. "Kagome was like a mother to me," she said.

Mrs. Higurashi looked at Kagome and then back at Izusu/Rin. "It is nice to meet Kagome's friends from the other time."

"Mrs. Higurashi has been keeping Dad company while you've been away," Katsura said, smirking.

Seeshomaru gritted his teeth.

Isuzu/Rin said, "In 500 years you haven't learned to take a joke?"

Katsura and Tennin laughed; Inuyasha watched the exchange with his claws bared and Kagome looked troubled. Kagome said, "Isuzu, I think perhaps we should talk, inside."

Isuzu/Rin said, "Call me Rin; it gets confusing for others if you call me by any other name."

"But what about your life beyond the shrine?" Kagome said.

Rin, formally known as Isuzu, considered this and said, "The characters are in my name; I doubt anyone will mind if I change my name from Isuzu to Rin." She shrugged.

"You're taking this awfully well," Kagome said.

Rin said, "When you've lived my life, things such as time-travel and past-lives seem trivial compared to the other joys of life. I have been waiting my whole life for this moment, and now that it's here, I'm not going to let it go."

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Sesshomaru watched the exchange between Rin and everyone with pride. He'd been a bit wary as he was transferring memories to her mind that she would reject everything, but she seemed to be taking everything in stride. This Rin had matured faster than her previous incarnation; it would be interesting to see how they differed from one another.

Katsura walked over and slung his arm around Sesshomaru's shoulders, a habit he'd picked up from Inuyasha when he was still a child and one which Sesshomaru hated; he was not a 'touchy-feely' kind of father or demon. "She's everything you said, Dad."

Sesshomaru said, "I never lie."

"I didn't say you did," Katsura replied. Despite the boy's casual demeanor, Sesshomaru knew that he only spoke the truth; Katsura had a habit to say everything that came to his mind, even if it didn't qualify an answer. Sesshomaru found himself more often annoyed because he always responded.

Tennin, on the other hand, said very little, but everything she did say was listened to with a degree of religious reverence by those who knew her, though Sesshomaru was inclined to make her repeat herself just to annoy her. It wouldn't do to have either of his children have an over-inflated ego; look at the trouble he'd gotten into when he was younger.

He'd been a father for 500 years and he hoped that he'd done a good enough job for Rin; it was her last gift to him before she died and the first gift he wanted to give her when she returned. Now she stood running her fingers through Tennin's silky silver hair and listening to Mrs. Higurashi as she told stories about how long he'd been waiting at the shrine.

"At one point," Mrs. Higurashi said, "I had a crush on him." She giggled and Sesshomaru winced. "But I knew nothing would ever happen; he was clearly waiting for something." She stared wistfully at nothing. "I sometimes imagined that he was waiting for a long-lost love that he had promised to meet here at the sacred tree," her eyes focused, "and to think that was the truth; he's been waiting for you."

Rin laughed, not as she had before in the past, but more deeply, as if she'd lived a better and fuller life this time around. He wondered what she'd experienced, who she was now; he could have gotten the answered when he'd been linked with her telepathically, but he wanted to learn who she was as she revealed herself to him.

Inuyasha sidled over, still bristling. "So you two have children later?"

Sesshomaru nodded.

Katsura peered at his uncle with interest. "You looked a lot bigger when I was young," he said. Katsura was several inches taller than Inuyasha but built more like his uncle; muscles roped around his body giving him the powerful upper body and thick leg muscles of a martial artist. Tennin, on the other hand, was more lithe and graceful, as her father; stealth and speed were her fortes.

"I'm sure I did," Inuyasha replied, his hands hidden in his kimono shirt. Inuyasha was uncomfortable; Sesshomaru was enjoying this.

Katsura leaned his elbow on Sesshomaru's shoulder and said to Inuyasha, "What happened to you guys? You just kinda disappeared?"

Inuyasha didn't have an answer, so he yelled, "How the hell am I supposed to know? You're the ones who've lived through it." He stomped away.

Katsura said, "Did I offend him?"

Sesshomaru shrugged his sons elbow off and said, "Inuyasha is easily offended when he doesn't know the answer."

Katsura pondered this as Sesshomaru walked over to Rin and said, "Rin."

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Rin hadn't forgotten about Sesshomaru, she was just preoccupied with learning about him from others—and playing with Tennin's hair. She extracted herself from her daughters clutches and walked with Sesshomaru along the shrine grounds.

"So we did it," she said.

"Yes," he replied.

"We changed the future for the better," she said.

He nodded.

"And now we have a whole new life to live," she said. She knew she was babbling, but she didn't know what to say; everything was so awkward. "How's Jaken?"

"Well," he replied, "as is Ah-Un."

"Good, good," Rin said, looking at the ground.

He grabbed her arm and stopped her from walking. "Rin, do you still want me?" She could see in his eyes that he was uncertain; he didn't show it to the others, but she knew him, knew him better than he knew himself as he had told her once.

She traced his marking with her fingertips and said, "Do you love me?"

Without hesitation he said, "I do."

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Sesshomaru hadn't known he was anxious to know Rin's mind until the words slipped out of his mouth. He'd waited for a heartbeat to hear her response and was relieved when she kissed him. He held her for several long moments, savoring the feel of her body against his. She was a little taller and her muscles were a little more pronounced, but she was still Rin, still the woman he'd fell in love with all those years ago. Her old scent still lingered but was joined by a new scent, pleasant and spicy. He could feel all the barriers he'd erected since her death come tumbling down as he basked in the warmth of her love.

Until Katsura came bounding over and pounced, wrapping his arms around them both and squeezed; Tennin waited patiently on the sidelines, her brow furrowed in anger at her twin brother. The telepathic link between them was strong, and Sesshomaru could see the battle going on between them on their faces. Rin looked at one then the other in interest.

"They are fighting," Sesshomaru said.

Rin nodded, still looking from one twin to the other. "Human twins are rumored to have a mild form of telepathy; I'm guessing demon twins have full-blown telepathy."

She and Sesshomaru walked away as the twins continued to stare, Katsura waving his hands energetically as Tennin stood still. "They were quite the trouble makers when they were younger, until they discovered I could read their minds."

Rin shook her head. "How long did it take them to figure that out?"

"Longer than it should have," he said.

Rin chuckled. She linked arm with his and said, "So, tell me about yourself."

"There was once a girl named Rin…."

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	27. Chapter 27

**Cloud Nine**

**By: Lehua**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.**

**Epilogue**

She lay in the darkness, her eyes closed, her arms relaxed beside her in the corpse pose. Her mind was startlingly blank at the moment, but the memories would rush in and fill her being with meaning and substance. What she did know now was that the journey was over; no more karmic backlash and no more incarnations. She was now a perfect being, a god/dess, and her name was Rin.

Rin opened her eyes and for a long moment there was nothing but blackness beneath the lids, as if her body contained a black-hole and had swallowed up all the color of her retina's and cornea's; but when she blinked dark human eyes looked out, and she sat up, looking at her surrounding with her new eyes.

There was darkness all around except for a faint light at the horizon. The light surrounded her and was coming at some speed. She looked down at her body and found she was bipedal, human. Her brow furrowed and she shook her head, negating her new existence as human. She wanted to have four legs, black fur, and fangs, a crescent moon upon her brow.

And so she changed, her limbs elongating, her body sprouting a dark silky fur, her fangs curving, and the dark-side-of-the-waxing-crescent-moon hidden in her fur. She howled a welcome and waited panting for the answer. In the distance someone called back and she bounded forward, her new joints moving smoothly beneath her new muscles, her tongue lolling out as she drew closer to her pack.

Several smaller dogs with silver-white coats came bounding toward her, each dancing excitedly as they sniffed and greeted her. She chuffed at them each, welcoming them back as her children, listening as they each told their stories and waiting patiently as they bickered with one another. A pair of dogs, twins in coloring and markings, walked slowly toward her, looking disdainfully down at their younger siblings for being boisterous. The male then jumped on top of Rin and licked her face while the female snapped her jaws at her twin brother and chided him for his eagerness.

But the pack shied away as the alpha dog drew near. Rin waited, alert, for her mate, and was soon greeted with the yang to her yin, Sesshomaru. He was a demon, but a god/dess can choose who she wants to be her Consort, and she would have no one but Sesshomaru. He didn't bow as he should and the world shivered at his slight, but Rin only smiled and bounded toward him, licking him wherever she could reach. He sniffed her and took her by the neck, pressing down with his fangs until she calmed and then licked her on her pulse. Then he turned and bolted into the sky, clouds falling from his paws. She pursued him, stars raining from her own and they lived on in inu or human form, the human who became a god/dess and the demon who was her Consort.

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PAU. (The End)

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If anyone has questions about the story, feel free to ask; I will post answers in the next chapter slot.


	28. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

I am saddened that the story ended; now I don't know what to do with myself. Should I edit other stories? Should I write a new story? Should I find some other anime couple to obsess about?

For now I will answer Irivel's question: _**is**__**she a goddes? How is that so?**_

As the story drew closer to ending I started wondering (A) how it was going to end and (B) was there an underlying theme. I rarely ever plot a story; I start it with a premise and see how it goes from there. I knew it was going to end with Rin being alive and Sesshomaru realizing he loves her without being mushy about it; as for the theme, well, I did kill her and made her reincarnation receive karmic backlash for what she'd done, so it seemed obvious to me (when I put two and two together) that the story was going to go in that direction, with Rin being reborn over and over again and Sesshomaru chasing her every time.

The point of reincarnation (to me) it to become a perfect being, to learn from past mistakes and try to transcend the human experience; and once you reach that state of nirvana then you no longer exist as human, and in Rin's case she became a god/dess (I use the spelling god/dess to imply that she is genderless, that she can be whatever she wants to be now that she has reached enlightenment).

**Hanyo traits….**

Katsura and Tennin are hanyo, but Sesshomaru is a more powerful demon that his father, so he was able to pass on the appearance of being human. B/c Sesshomaru was so much more powerful when he sired the twins and he was around to raise them, they are stronger than Inuyasha and more able to control their demonic natures. They are also able to transform at will into demon dogs, but they appear as large dogs, nowhere near as big as Sesshomaru gets. And b/c they are half-human, they do become fully human once a month and they are not immortal; they will eventually die, if not through violence then from old age.


End file.
